Chapter 37
LEXI
Iwas so nervous giving Brandon his gift in front of everyone.
I wasn’t sure he’d be able to keep his emotions under wraps.
Or maybe I secretly hoped he wouldn’t. I didn’t know what I thought anymore.
This time last year, I wouldn’t have even entertained the idea of a relationship with anyone, and now I was dating my best friend’s boyfriend’s brother. Say that ten times fast.
Bundled up in a blanket, sitting by the roaring outdoor fireplace, I was lost in thought.
I actually couldn’t wait until our little secret was revealed.
I just didn’t want to tell everyone while we were stuck in this cabin.
It would be too awkward. I’d much rather it came out when we got home, and we wouldn’t have to field questions and scrutiny from all sides.
At least at home, we could manage the fallout one-on-one.
“Hey,” Brandon said, startling me.
“Shit! Hey yourself. I didn’t hear you come out. How long were you standing there, you creeper?” I joked.
Brandon’s smile warmed me. “Not long. Are you warm enough?”
“Yeah, it’s not too cold today.”
“Want to go for a walk?” he asked.
“In the snow?” I looked at him as if he’d lost his mind.
“Like you said, it’s not too cold today. Don’t worry, I’ll keep you warm, Sweetheart.” He arched an eyebrow.
I quickly scanned the wall of windows directly in front of us. Thankfully, no one was paying us any attention. “Okay, I guess, but if I get frostbite, I’m holding you personally responsible.”
“Come on.” He held his hand out to me, which I ignored. I got up and pulled the blanket tightly around myself, and walked down the porch stairs as Brandon trailed behind me. I gave one more look over my shoulder to make sure no one was watching us.
As soon as we were out of eyeshot, I looked towards Brandon as we walked side by side along the beach. “So, what’s up?”
“I read your note.”
“Fuck.” I pulled the blanket up over my face. This was exactly why I wrote him a note—so I wouldn’t have to actually talk about it.
Brandon pulled the blanket down and turned me to face him.
“Look at me.” Looking up into his eyes, I knew I could trust him with my heart.
It was a weird and unfamiliar sensation, knowing that without a shadow of a doubt that he wouldn’t intentionally hurt me.
“Thank you. I know that wasn’t easy for you to write, but I appreciate you telling me how you’re feeling. And that sketchbook? Fucking perfect.”
“You’re welcome. Remember last year at the Christmas market when I got that sketchbook for your dad?”
“Yeah, that was really nice.”
“Well, I went back this year and asked if he did custom pieces.” My eyes drifted away from his. “So you like it?”
He tipped my chin up so I couldn’t avoid his eyes. “I love it. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
He leaned down and whispered in my ear, “I like you too, Sweetheart.”
“Oh, my God. Let’s not make a big deal about the note, okay?” I tried to pull out of his grasp, but he held both of my arms to my sides.
“I know it’s hard for you to talk about your feelings, but that note was really nice. Your opening up to me, even in a note, means the world to me. I want you to know that you’re safe with me. Your heart is safe with me.”
“Thank you,” I replied, barely above a whisper.
He was saying all the right things, but inside, I was having a mini freak-out.
I wanted to give him more reassurance, but I wasn’t sure I’d be able to describe adequately how I was feeling.
Without meeting his eyes, I tried. “Trust isn’t something I give people lightly, but I do trust you.
I know I’m safe with you, and I promise I’ll try to talk to you about how I’m feeling more. ”
“That’s all I can ask for.” He raised my hand to his mouth, kissing it briefly, before we continued our walk.
Brandon was going to ruin me for any other man.
I hoped he wouldn’t break my heart, but at that moment, I honestly trusted he wouldn’t.
I knew there were no guarantees in life, and I needed to be okay with that in order for us to move forward.
After a few minutes, we rounded a bend and came to a small, more secluded beach.
Tugging his hand, which was still in mine, I led him towards the wooded area.
I wanted him. I wanted to stop pretending that sex was my issue.
The realization that he wouldn’t hurt me had me wanting to give myself to him without shying away afterwards.
Once we were inside the cover of the woods, he pressed me against a tree.
“What are you doing, Sweetheart?” he asked with a wicked grin.
“I think we’ve waited long enough,” I said breathlessly.
“And you think this is the best place for us to break our little vow of celibacy?” he chuckled as he looked from side to side.
“We’re grown ass adults, Brandon, and it’s not like we haven’t had a ton of sex already. And besides, you know it’s not the actual sex that’s my issue.” I wasn’t above begging at that point. I was wound so damn tight. “Don’t you think I’ve made some good progress? I think I deserve a reward.”
He pressed into me so I could feel how much he wanted me, too. “You know I want you. I always want you, but I want more than just your body, Lexi. Do I have that?”
“Yes,” I breathed as he captured my mouth with his.
“Promise me if you feel like running, you’ll talk to me.”
“I promise. Please fuck me—I’m pretty sure my hymen has grown back.”
“Oh my God, Lex.” His chuckle tickled my ear. “I don’t have any condoms.” His hands moved over my body inside the blanket.
“Brando, I haven’t ever not used a condom, and on top of that, I was tested months ago, and we’ve already established the fact that I am a born-again virgin. I’m good—please put me out of my misery.”
“I haven’t been with anyone else either. Are you sure?” I could tell from his tone, he was struggling to maintain control.
“Yes,” I said, pulling him into a kiss. I palmed his cock through his sweatpants—a silent plea for him to take me right there.
“I should make you wait, make you beg—” He spun me hurriedly, pressing my front against the tree. With his face next to mine, he reached between my legs to cup my pussy that was begging to be filled. “—but I’ve already waited too long to claim what’s mine again.”
“Do it. Fuck me.”