Chapter 3
Joy
I very rarely went on Facebook anymore. But the following Saturday night I was home and bored, so I clicked to see who had gotten engaged or pregnant this month.
I wasn’t even bitter about it—but seriously, every time I turned around, someone was flashing a ring, wearing a white dress, or holding up a sonogram picture.
I guess this was what almost-thirty looked like. At least to everyone else.
I took a deep breath as I signed on, preparing to be hit with someone’s happy news while I sat at home drinking a glass of wine by myself. But to my surprise, what popped up made my heart race in a good way.
Nolan Bradstreet wants to confirm your relationship.
Our relationship, though? I was excited to see that my gorgeous, fake boyfriend had made contact, but I had no idea what relationship he could possibly be confirming until I clicked into the notification.
Nolan Bradstreet listed you as in a relationship. Please confirm to update your new status.
I cracked up. How fortunate that my fake boyfriend has a good sense of humor.
Most guys would never have gone along with my madness at Davis’s party.
They would’ve bolted as quickly as possible.
I was more than happy to confirm my new status, so I clicked accept.
After, a box popped up telling me Nolan and I were also now Facebook friends.
That news was just as exciting, because I had access to his private photos.
My bleak Saturday night suddenly became a bit brighter, and I couldn’t start perusing fast enough.
I took another gulp of my wine as I opened up the first album, and I almost spit sauvignon blanc all over my laptop when I got a look at the first picture.
“Holy crap,” I said out loud. “He’s as off his rocker as I am!
” Nolan hadn’t just made us Facebook official with a status update, he’d posted a picture of us!
And in a cat café in Tokyo, no less. He’d tagged Café Termari no Ouchi in the photo, too.
Oh my God. I couldn’t stop smiling as I stared at the screen.
This man was certifiable, and I freaking loved it!
The best part was that he clearly had no photoshop skills.
I recognized the photo of me as one I’d posted last year on Isla’s twenty-ninth birthday.
We’d been standing arm in arm, but he’d cut her out so it was just me, only he’d failed to remove three of Isla’s fingers from the front of my waist. The caption read: I love you meow and furever, Joy Hannigan.
I stared at the photo, with my hand covering an enormous smile, for a full five minutes.
Not only was the man funny and playful, he was even more gorgeous than I remembered.
Dark hair, smooth tan skin, and light green eyes that almost didn’t look real.
Not to mention, his jawline rivaled Matt Bomer’s. I was jealous of the cat in his hands.
Eventually, I clicked on the rest of his photos, figuring I’d check out his friends and family, see what he does for fun, and maybe find out what type of women he tended to go for.
But the second picture I clicked on was also of us.
In fact, there were four more of them! I laughed my way through each and every one.
Us at the Bronx Zoo, standing in front of the lion’s cage.
We were obviously both photoshopped into that one.
I’m guessing Nolan took his photo from some sort of sporting event, since he was holding a giant Styrofoam finger.
With a super-quick glance, he might’ve gotten away with people believing the photo was real, except I was barefoot in my picture!
Who goes to the Bronx Zoo without shoes?
Us dressed in costumes. Oh my God. Did he dress up as Wayne from Wayne’s World to match that photo of me dressed as Garth from two years ago? Or had he really been Wayne for Halloween at some point?
Us at the beach. That one looked pretty good. Except… I leaned in for a closer look. Did he make my boobs bigger? I was pretty certain he’d turned my C cups into double Ds.
The last one was an actual photo—the one he’d snapped for posterity before he left Davis’s Christmas party. I’d been kicking myself in the ass over the last week for not taking one, too.
Those photos were so much fun that I was a little disappointed when I stalked his regular ones. After I got to the end of his last album, I decided to message my Facebook-official fake boyfriend.
Joy: Hey. Just wanted to say that you totally made my day with those photos! I laughed through every single one. But…did I get breast augmentation surgery and forget about it??
It was nine PM on a Saturday night. I figured there was no way in hell he’d be online. But two minutes later, my laptop pinged with an incoming message. My pulse picked up as I opened it.
Nolan: Sorry. I might’ve done that at three in the morning after too much to drink.
I smiled as I typed back.
Joy: That’s exactly how I got myself into this mess last year. Drinking and Facebook. There should be breathalyzers on laptops for when you try to sign on past ten PM.
Nolan: For the record, I was just amusing myself. You look perfect the way you are.
I felt warmth in my cheeks, and it had nothing to do with the wine I lifted to sip.
Joy: I actually Googled cat cafés in Tokyo this week. I can’t believe how many there are. And there are some bars, too!
Nolan: Yeah, it was an experience. Apparently they started because most apartments in Japan don’t allow pets. Did you know we have a few here in the city?
Joy: Really?
Nolan: I’ve never been. But when I posted a photo from my trip, a few people told me they’d been to Meow Parlour. It’s on the Lower East Side somewhere.
For the next hour and a half, Nolan and I chatted on Messenger.
Our conversation flowed easily, and a few times I thought he was even flirting with me.
Though I couldn’t be sure, because the guy clearly had a playful personality.
I poured a second glass of wine and finished it off while we got to know each other, but this time I limited myself to two so I didn’t say or do something else stupid.
Nolan: So what do you do for Christmas? I can’t believe it’s in five days. Wasn’t it just Halloween last week? Nice Garth, by the way.
Joy: My friend Isla, who you met at the party, was Wayne. Did you actually dress as Wayne, too, or did you just do that for the photo? I go to my sister’s for Christmas. She has two kids, so it’s always fun—unlike my parents’ annual holiday party on Christmas Eve. That I dread.
Nolan: Nope. I was Wayne last year when I was forced to go to a party where everyone had to dress as famous couples. Why the dread for your parents’ party?
Joy: Great minds think alike. And I love my parents.
They’re amazing people, but my mom thinks I’m going to die an old maid since Davis and I broke up.
Anytime she has people over, she now happens to invite a single guy.
I’m not looking forward to meeting this year’s hot commodity.
Last year, the guy I was stuck talking to half the night was obsessed with Deadliest Catch.
He spent an hour telling me about each episode of the new season. And I’m allergic to shellfish!
Nolan: Oh, man. Why don’t you bring the holiday card to show them you have a new boyfriend? Or better yet, mail them one!
I laughed out loud.
Joy: I couldn’t do that. I’m really close to my mom. She would know if I had a boyfriend serious enough to put on a holiday card. That trick only worked on Davis.
However, maybe if I brought my own boyfriend to the party, they wouldn’t think they constantly needed to fix me up.
Would it be insane to ask Nolan to go with me?
I chewed my lip, debating. He’d said he had a date the night of Davis’s party—not a girlfriend.
And Nolan seemed like a fun guy who was up for anything.
I bet we’d have a blast being a fake couple again.
Plus…maybe there would be an opportunity for a second kiss.
Lord knows I hadn’t stopped thinking about the first one.
So I said screw it and started typing before I changed my mind.
Joy: Any chance you’re free on Christmas Eve? Maybe you can come to my parents’ party and play the role of fake boyfriend again—help them get off my back about dating.
A long pause went by, way longer than the time between our messages had been, so I started to grow anxious. Then the text came in.
Nolan: I wish I could. But I already have plans. I told Kylie, the girl I went out with the night of Davis’s party, that I’d go to see A Christmas Carol with her.
***
Two days later, I woke to another tag on Facebook.
Nolan had honed his photoshop skills and made some more photos of us.
They were definitely better, but still pretty funny.
Though the novelty had lost its luster since I was rejected, and the last couple days I’d been walking around with a hollow feeling in the pit of my stomach.
Later in the afternoon, I opened my laptop to do some last-minute online Christmas shopping from the office, and I found a new message from Nolan.
Nolan: How did I do with the new photos? I think I’m almost ready to make my own card.
I smiled, but that hollow feeling hit me again.
I’d essentially kissed this man, then asked him out, and he’d rejected me.
Worse, I really liked him. There was no use torturing myself when he wasn’t into me, so I didn’t bother to respond.
Instead, I shut my laptop and decided to brave the stores in person on my way home from work.
A little while later, I walked out of the building, still feeling glum, only to run straight into Davis and his fiancée. They were all smiles and kissy faces. I attempted to slink away without them seeing me, but failed.
“Joy!” Davis yelled.
I turned and forced a smile. “Oh, hi. I didn’t see you guys.”
“I’m glad we ran into you. I’ve been meaning to come talk to you.”
“Oh?”
“Hailey and I are going out to dinner this weekend, on the twenty-seventh, with Ben and his girlfriend.”
“Ben?”
“The guy Nolan came to the party with.”
I nodded. “Oh, right.”
“Why don’t you and Nolan join us?”
My face fell. Davis noticed and held up his hands.
“Unless that’s too weird? Maybe it is...”
I had no choice but to force a smile back on my face, though I didn’t have the energy to come up with an excuse as to why Nolan and I couldn’t make it. So I took the easy route and figured I’d cancel via text in a day or two.
“Sure. That sounds great.”
Davis smiled. “Oh good. I’m glad you don’t think it’s weird.”
How could I? Dinner with my ex and his fiancée wasn’t half as weird as photoshopping a stranger into your Christmas card and pretending he’s your boyfriend.