Chapter 32
Alicia
Sunni and Alicia were having early evening, pre-Christmas drinks overlooking the ocean on the veranda of Alicia’s home.
David, their gallerist friend, had joined them with what looked like an entire aisle’s worth of snacks from the store.
Sunni poured some smoked paprika chips into a bowl and posed a question to Alicia.
‘Have you heard from the making love by the fireside guy?’ She turned to David. ‘Alicia had a holiday romance and she’s going to tell us all about it.’
‘You did? Oh, yes, please spill.’ David sounded as keen as Sunni to soak up all the details.
‘It’s not that interesting,’ said Alicia.
‘But if you insist on the details, I met this guy at the reception of the hotel I was staying at. He was gorgeous and for some weird reason I decided he was a porter and asked him to carry my bags to my room. He went along with the act, and when I found out I accused him of being a creepy asshole, but then when I got snowed in with him in a remote hut, and there was only one bed, I discovered I had him pegged all wrong.’
‘There was only one bed?’ Sunni’s eyes widened and sparkled like Christmas baubles. ‘You never mentioned that.’
‘Well, nothing happened, which made me like him more. When we got back to the hotel, he posed for me, clothed and then nude. It was so funny because he runs a whisky company and he joked he would put the painting on the label of one of his whisky bottles.’
‘He runs a whisky company?’ David cut in quickly, then muttered, ‘Labels’ as if remembering something from long ago.
‘Yes, Butler’s whisky. Seems he’s quite a big deal in the whisky-verse. Are you okay, David? You look kind of traumatised.’
But David maintained that he was fine. ‘Sure. Go on with your story.’
‘Okay, so he went back to his village and we figured we’d never see each other again, but then I went to Norway and had an epiphany–– Hey, what is that?’
‘What’s what?’
‘That face where you look like you left the stove on. What’s up?’
‘Oh nothing. I’m going to pop to the kitchen for a top-up.’ David stood up with a nearly full glass. ‘Anyone else want one?’
Alicia scrutinised her friend. He was not his usual effervescent self, and she had no idea why. But when he returned from the kitchen with her sketchbook, she found out.
‘Is this your Scottish hunk?’ David was holding up the sketch of Jamie that Alicia had drawn whilst chatting to Connor. She kept meaning to put the pad away but something made her leave it lying out on the kitchen table. Maybe because she’d deleted all her photos of him.
‘Yes, that’s him,’ she admitted.
‘Oh Lordy.’
‘Pardon?’ Why was David behaving this way? Did he know Jamie? Know something bad about him? David often warned Sunni and Alicia about international romance scam artists.
‘He came into the gallery today,’ David explained. ‘Told me he owned a whisky company and that you and he had a deal where you would illustrate the labels for his bottles. I gave him short shrift because you’d told me that his email was spam.’
Alicia clapped her hand over her mouth. Jamie was in the gallery? Today? ‘Are you one hundred percent sure it was him?’ Her muffled voice filtered through her fingers.
‘Honey, it was this guy in the sketch. He had a Scottish accent and the story fits. It was one hundred percent him. I nearly called you to run it by you, but I decided that was silly.’
‘Are you kidding me right now? What did he say? Did he leave a number?’
David’s face changed to an embarrassed shade of ripe peach. ‘I have good news and bad news. The good news is I let him record a voice note for you on my phone. I figured it had less chance of being poisoned than an actual note.’
‘You did? Oh, please can I listen to it?’
‘Of course, honey.’ David placed his phone on the table and pressed play. A familiar, masculine Scottish voice filled the room.
‘Alicia, it’s Jamie. Look, this is weird, talking into some stranger’s phone, but I’m determined you get to hear this and my sincerity.
I can’t guarantee you’ll believe me any other way, so it’s this or risk losing you forever.
This guy here tells me you’re best mates so I hope you don’t mind me speaking in front of him. It’s mainly my baggage anyway.
‘So, I’ve been talking to some people and they’ve helped me understand some things.
Here goes. Alicia, you were right. I’ve not been totally honest with you about Katie and Frank.
I was truthful about the relationship being dead in the water, but it took me a bit after it ended to accept that.
The truth is, she left me because he somehow convinced her that I’m a bad person with negative energy, as well as other rubbish about the business.
She didn’t want to have a baby with me but got pregnant to him in five minutes.
Probably literally. Anyway, all the slurs bothered me, so much more than I realised, and I was so ashamed.
So I made the misguided decision not to tell you because I was terrified you’d believe those things about me too.
When we were in the bookshop, I was angry at Frank, but not for stealing Katie.
It was for taking advantage of vulnerable people and making me look like a dick.
He’s welcome to Katie but what he is not welcome to do is destroy my reputation and chances with someone else.
I’m only sorry I wasn’t brave enough to tell you the full story sooner.
Truth was, I wanted to wait until we knew each other a little better so I could be sure it wouldn’t scare you away.
It’s you I want, Alicia, not Katie. It’s you I think about all day, every day, you’re the reason I’m pouring my heart out in front of a guy in a blue suit who’s looking at me like I’m a slasher.
Please, Leesh, don’t let this be a wasted trip.
When you get this, come and find me or call me… ’
‘Oh, my good God… Why has the recording cut out? What’s happened to his number?’ Alicia gaped at the phone, dumbstruck, then at David. ‘All I can hear is your voice saying sorry, some rustling and then it stops. And I’ve deleted his number.’
‘That was the bad news.’ David’s voice hollowed out with genuine regret. ‘I’m sorry, babe. Floella Moss came into the gallery and I couldn’t leave my phone with some random stranger. Or slasher, as he put it. But I’m sure we can find him, somehow. Could you get his number from your phone records?’
Alicia sorely wished that David had trusted Jamie with his phone for a few moments longer. Slashers didn’t leave voice notes. Jamie had poured all his vulnerability into that recording. What he said made so much sense. Alicia’s eyes stung.
‘I guess,’ she said. ‘I could go through my bills.’
‘Yes. And one other thing,’ said David. ‘He also said that he had mocked up your art on a bottle and wondered your thoughts.’
‘Oh, my God! What? Where’s the bottle?’
‘Um…’ Again, David’s face took on a sheepish pallor. ‘It could have been laced with anthrax or something. I wanted to protect you.’
‘Oh. okay…’ Alicia inhaled deep belly breaths and tried to stay calm, but fate was working against her on this one.
She had to see Jamie. Talking to him on the phone was one thing but seeing him in the flesh was imperative.
There was no time to mess about with phone records.
Alicia noticed David’s eyes cast downwards, as if he was recalling what else Jamie had said.
‘What?’ she asked. ‘What is it, David? Give me something. Anything?’
David’s head shot up and he clicked his fingers at Alicia. ‘He said he was staying at the Beverly Wilshire. If that’s any use.’
‘Yes! Yes, that’s of use. We have to go there.’ Jamie had come all the way to LA to talk to her about the reflecting he’d done, to try to win her back. Thank God she’d only had a sip or two, so she could drive.
Luckily, David and Sunni were as keen for Alicia to reunite with Jamie, so they all bundled into Alicia’s car.
‘Be careful with your speed,’ warned David. ‘Actually, who am I kidding? Step on it. This is so romantic.’
Alicia drove as fast as she could to Wilshire Boulevard. Christmas traffic made things far slower than the usual turtle pace. Eventually, they screeched up outside the hotel. ‘What do I do now?’ she asked.
‘You run in,’ said Sunni. ‘And you puff breathily to the receptionist that you’re looking for Mr… Mr…’
‘Mr Butler.’ Alicia smiled at how much this felt like a movie although she was terrified that she might miss Jamie.
‘You’re looking for Mr Butler,’ Sunni continued, ‘and it’s vital you and he are reunited. Make it obvious that this is a romantic emergency. Cry, if you have to – but not too much.’
‘Okay, okay.’ Alicia loved how her friends made this situation humorous, even though she was wracked with anxiety.
What if Jamie was at the hotel? What if she told him all the things she wanted to: told him she was sorry for not having faith in his feelings for her.
What if she told him she loved him. Because, my God, she loved this mountain-tall Scotsman with his heart as deep as Loch Ness.
If she thought she hadn’t before, she’d been lying to herself in the biggest possible way.
The receptionist in the hotel recognised Alicia, so it wasn’t difficult to eke information from him.
‘I’m sorry, Ms Jansen, but Mr Butler checked out already. He only stayed one night.’
‘Oh.’ Alicia surveyed the hotel lobby as if Jamie might still be here, nursing a coffee and waiting for her to appear. What a silly idea.
‘Do you…? Did he…?’ This couldn’t be the end of the line, but what should she ask? Was there was some detail the receptionist could give her that would indicate where Jamie had gone, although the answer was obviously no. She’d already been given more detail than a regular person would be.
The receptionist tuned into Alicia’s desperation. ‘He left no further information,’ he said without prompting. Sometimes it helped to be well known.
‘Thank you, so much. I appreciate your help.’ Alicia turned, gazed up at the giant Christmas tree in front of her and wished it would imbue her with some of the festive magic it was meant to deliver.
‘I missed him,’ she told Sunni and David as she sunk back into the driver’s seat.
‘Oh, that sucks,’ David said. ‘I’m so sorry.’
‘Why don’t you call his company in Scotland,’ Sunni suggested, ‘and ask for his cell, or to pass on a message?’
‘They’re not going to hand that out.’ Alicia shook her head. ‘He’s a big deal. I could say I was the president of the USA and they wouldn’t give it to me. And honestly, I want to see him not leave a message.’
‘He’s that much of a big deal?’
‘I don’t know,’ Alicia admitted. ‘He’s a big deal to me.
’ He was. How had she been so idiotic to let Jamie go?
She hadn’t even stuck around to discuss things or try to make them better.
She’d made a fleeting decision that he was hung up on his ex and being driven by his ego, forgetting all the wonderful times they had shared.
‘Well, there’s only one thing for it then,’ said David. ‘We have to go to the airport.’
‘Yes,’ said Sunni. ‘You’ll have to fly to Scotland.’
‘I do,’ Alicia agreed. ‘I will. I’m going to. But I'll need a bag.’ She swung the car into the road and back towards her apartment to repack the suitcase she had unpacked less than three weeks previously.