Chapter 2
POSY
I lowered my hands from my lips and let out a breath. This wasn’t the first time I’d done that motion, and it was beginning to be a problem.
Once again, I needed to stop thinking about that kiss. I had been tossing and turning all night, so now not even the best concealer could hide the dark circles under my eyes. I was doing my best though, because I couldn’t let Cullen see how he had affected me.
Of course, I could just lie and say I was stressed about the drive, the fact that my car was probably dead for good, and countless other things, but I didn’t really know how I was supposed to explain that.
I went through my packing list again, ensuring that I was taking up the least amount of space as possible.
I knew that Cullen had a huge truck and there was probably enough room for more than a tiny suitcase, but for all I knew he had enough gifts for all of his siblings, and I was going to have to sit on my purse or something.
I ran my hands over my face, avoiding my lips, before I began to pace my bedroom again.
I wasn’t sure why I was acting like this. It was just a kiss under the mistletoe, and yes, I had practically jumped away in terror, but it wasn’t like it was his fault. He didn’t do it on purpose.
I had been the one to meet him underneath the mistletoe so maybe all of this was my fault rather than his.
He probably wasn’t even thinking about the kiss.
My phone buzzed, and I immediately snatched it, grateful for something else to think about. “Mercy! How is everything? Did you have fun at the party last night?”
“I did.” There was something odd in her tone, but she didn’t clarify what she meant.
“I just wanted to make sure you got home safe, but it was late so I didn’t text. Didn’t want to push that text through your Do Not Disturb.”
“Everything went well. I’m glad I got to go. The Montgomerys are so nice.”
“You grew up with them, right?” I asked, trying to remember exactly how she was connected to them.
“I did. Lex and I have known each other forever. And well, now he’s my neighbor, so I guess the Montgomerys are always going to be around.”
“Are you all set for your Christmas day?” I asked, feeling bad that she couldn’t come with me. She had already declined multiple times when I had offered, and now I didn’t even have a car to get her there.
“I’ll be okay. You have fun with your parents.”
“I will. I love seeing them.”
“Tell them ‘Hi’ for me. Your car going to make it there okay?”
I wince. “Not exactly.” I explained the whole situation from the night before, and exactly how I was getting to my parents’ home.
Mercy grinned. “That’s so sweet of Cullen. I’m glad that you’re going to make it work out.”
“Hey, Mercy, when I’m back in town after the new year, do you want to help me buy a car?” I didn’t want to think about my budget in that moment, but I couldn’t help it. This was not the time for this.
“Sure! And we can totally work on our badass looks so we can stare down any salesmen who think we need a man in order to make it happen.” Mercy rocked back on her heels, grinning.
“I’m glad I have you for that, because we both know I’m going to cower behind a pole.”
“You wouldn’t. But I can kick ass.” She held up both fists, play fighting.
“Damn straight,” I said with a laugh.
“Merry Christmas and happy holidays, Mercy.”
“Same to you. Enjoy your time and tell me all about this car trip with Cullen.”
I ignored the teasing in her tone, because frankly one of us needed to. “He’s my friend. Just like you and Lex are friends.”
“That makes sense,” she said quickly. Too quickly.
And now I had way too many questions, but not enough time. “I need to head out. I want to work on one set of edits before Cullen picks me up.”
“And you call me a workaholic.”
I snorted. “My producer got them to me late. It’s okay, I’ll get it done, but I feel bad. The author has a deadline.”
“Then get it done, missy.”
We hung up, and then I went to my small recording booth that I had put in a few years ago.
I was blessed to be able to be a voice actor and narrator.
Though I had been doing it for a bit longer than Mercy had.
In fact, I had been doing this full-time for ten years.
I no longer needed to work as a drama teacher on the side or do tutoring for those who could afford it.
And while I missed working with kids, the schools just didn’t have the funding.
And the year after I went full-time towards my dream, they cut the program entirely.
I still donated whatever time I had to private projects, and other pro bono work, so kids could have some form of creativity in their lives, but it wasn’t enough.
However, I needed to seal myself into this booth and work on all the pickups that I might’ve missed.
For instance, instead of the word shallow, I had used the word sallow, which didn’t really work for a shallow grave. I had also mixed up three words multiple times on a page, and I remembered that day I had been flustered for a reason I didn’t want to think about.
Like how Cullen was coming over later that day to force me out of the house for dinner.
He was my friend. I needed to remember that. Just because he looked like Henry Cavill in his build, and most bearded of days, didn’t mean that I needed to swoon over him.
It was just that now I knew he truly cared for his beard.
It was soft and smelled slightly of sandalwood soap and oil, meaning he had a true beard care routine that apparently did something for me.
And when he wore Henleys, which he liked to do often, he would pull them up to his elbows, so he showed off his forearms. I didn’t realize I had a fixation on those, but here I was, thinking about one of my friend’s—one of my best friend’s—forearms.
It was all I could do to remember that I had to be better than this.
I wasn’t going to ruin what we had. Because while I had my online community thanks to my job, Mercy and Cullen were really the only two people I saw on a regular basis.
And even then, I tended to hermit more than anything.
I enjoyed being a hermit. It was what I did.
But sometimes I needed to venture out. So I wasn’t going to ruin one of the single connections I had to the outside world.
I was just going to have to get over this ridiculous crush when it came to Cullen.
It didn’t take me long to get through my voice work, as I had been prepping for everything already, and as I sent the files to my editor, I quickly went back to my packing, ensuring that I had everything set up.
I looked down at the gift in silver wrapping paper and wondered if it was too much. It wasn’t like he was going to get me anything. We never had in the past. This would just be a thank you for driving me all the way to my parents’ home in Wyoming gift.
Except that I had bought it for him weeks ago, but it wasn’t as if I was going to show him the receipt.
Maybe he would think that I had left the house far too early in the morning, before the sun rose, and battled the stores for this.
Yes, that was how I was going to work it.
The doorbell rang as I closed my purse, the gift settled inside the large tote.
I swallowed hard and tried not to act as if I was a frantic lunatic.
This was just Cullen. I had been in a truck with him before.
Last night, in fact.
And it wasn’t as if I had jumped him.
I quickly pushed those thoughts out of my mind and went to open the door.
And there he stood, in his lumberjack glory, and I knew this was going to be a problem.
He had on dark jeans that fit his thighs so well it should be illegal. He wore heavy work boots, but they were cleaner than his usual ones from the job site. Then he had a black flannel buttoned up over his Henley, and once again, his beard looked so soft.
I looked up into those blue eyes and let out a sigh.
I didn’t realize that I had made an audible sigh until he narrowed his gaze at me.
“Good morning. You all packed?”
“Oh.” I shook myself out of my reverie. Or fantasies. Whatever. “Yes. I’m all ready to go. Let me just grab everything.”
“I’ll help. You don’t need to lift it into the back of the truck.”
“I wasn’t sure how much space you had, so I tried to stuff everything into my small suitcase.”
“You didn’t need to do that. I put the cover over the bed, and everything’s padded in there. I have gifts for my siblings too, so thankfully playing Tetris is my pastime.” He winked as he said it and lifted my over-packed suitcase as if it weighed nothing.
No, I wasn’t going to stare at my best friend’s muscles. I was just going to get over it and maybe drink some wine as soon as I got to my parents’ home.
“All locked up?” he asked as I walked behind him, tote and purse in hand.
“Yes. Thank you for this by the way. Seriously.”
“It’s really no problem, Posy. Plus, you get to deal with my music. After all, I’m driving, I get control of the music.”
“I’m not quite sure that’s how it works,” I said as I opened his passenger side door. I lifted one leg up onto the runners but slid forward as I hadn’t realized that they were still icy.
“Whoa, I’ve got you.” Cullen put his hands on my hips, keeping me steady, and I froze, blushing so hard I was afraid he could feel the intense heat radiating from me.
“Thank you. Icy, I guess.” Yes, maybe if I used longer sentences, I wouldn’t sound like such a dork.
“I have to lift into this truck, and I’m over six foot. But it helps with work.” Then he proceeded to lift me into the cab of the truck with ease, setting me down softly onto the seat.
I just stared at him wide-eyed, wondering why I was reacting like this. I had known him for a long time now. Why was I acting as if I was just meeting this man for the first time?
But when his hands lingered for a second on my side before letting go, maybe this was a first.
I shook myself out of that once again, as he closed the door behind him and moved around the front of the truck and hopped into his side.