Chapter 6
Jamie
Jamie closed the door again. Lucy stood in the gloom of the hall against the backdrop of the unlit Christmas decorations that mocked him every time he looked at them. He would have taken them down today if she hadn’t arrived. He couldn’t remember celebrating a festive Christmas in years.
Lucy looked crestfallen. Her eagerness to leave and the fact that she had no interest in having a stake in the castle merely proved to Jamie that there was nothing here for her. Including him.
He suddenly thought of something and asked her abruptly, ‘Are you with someone? Is that why you assumed I wanted to talk about divorce?’ Maybe that’s why she’d been so intent about delivering the divorce papers personally. She wouldn’t have had his address before now.
Lucy looked at him, surprised. And then guarded. ‘No.’ And then, ‘At least, not right now.’
So she had been with someone? Jamie had to ignore the way his insides roiled a little and a red hot sensation filled his chest. He had no hold over her. The fact that he hadn’t been with anyone in the meantime felt far too exposing.
The day of reckoning was here and it had come right to his door, ready or not. Was he a total fucking coward to be glad she hadn’t quizzed him on whether or not he was with anyone? Or had been? Yes. His conscience answered him cheerfully.
Before she could, he said, ‘But you wanted to get back to Dublin for Christmas?’
Christmas Eve was the next day. Unless there was a miraculous change in the weather, they’d be here through Christmas. Jamie had been perfectly resigned to his own solo season but hadn’t prepared for a guest to witness his Grinch mode activated.
She looked like she didn’t want to answer but then she said, ‘Um, actually, not especially. I was going to be on my own this year.’
Jamie remembered her telling him her folks had divorced, like his had, and bonding over experiencing similar shit show divorce situations.
She said, ‘My father has a new young family now, they’re busy.’
Jamie read between the lines. No time for a grown-up daughter.
‘And my mother is in India on a silent retreat. She’s going through a phase of seeking.’
Lucy did air quotes when she said seeking.
So they’d both have been solo in any case.
He called himself an absolute dick for feeling relieved to hear she didn’t have some intimate Christmas planned with a lover.
He also called himself a dick for being very much aware of her.
And for wondering if the electrical current he could feel was mutual or one-sided.
He said, ‘Well, obviously, you can stay here. It’s not as if there’s not enough room.’
‘Thank you.’
She didn’t sound thrilled by that prospect and Jamie tried not to let it make his insides curdle. What had he expected?
At that airport in Vegas the morning after the wedding night, they hadn’t been able to walk away from each other to their respective gates quick enough.
His conscience mocked that memory because it wasn’t entirely accurate. He had stopped and looked back at Lucy and, for a moment, he’d willed her to turn around, but she hadn’t.
He’d called himself an idiot and he’d always been glad she hadn’t caught that little moment.
They may have spent the hottest forty-eight hours of his life together and got a quickie wedding, but it wasn’t as if they’d done it because they’d fallen in love.
Lust maybe. Lust was a palpable tangible thing. Love had not been part of the equation.
And yet... He had tracked her down and was traveling to Dublin to see her, but then his father had died – and circumstances had changed overnight.
But he hadn’t planned on bringing divorce papers with him.
He’d wanted to seek her out, to talk, to see.
.. He shook his head at himself mentally. No point even going there.
In light of current events, the Dublin trip was something he had no intention of her ever finding out about. He welcomed the fact that fate and circumstance had brought them together like this, because now he was under no illusions that she wanted anything from him, but a divorce.
He said, ‘I’ll get your bags and show you to a guest room.’