Chapter 16 Tolin
TOLIN
I’ve been out here for two hours.
The woodpile is stacked so high it’s ridiculous. Enough wood to last three winters, not just one hibernation. But I keep swinging the ax, keep splitting logs, keep doing anything that isn’t going back inside that cabin.
My bear is furious with me.
He’s been pacing inside my skull since dawn, growling and snapping, demanding we go back to our mate. He doesn’t understand why we’re out here in the cold when she’s in there, warm and soft and smelling like heaven.
But I know myself. I know what will happen if I get too close to her right now.
Last night broke something in me. The taste of her, the sounds she made, the way she came apart on my fingers. It’s all I can think about. Every time I close my eyes, I see her face when she came. Every time I breathe, I smell her arousal still clinging to my skin.
If I touch her again, I won’t stop.
And when I claim her, when I finally bury myself inside her and make her mine, she’s never leaving. I’ll burn down her apartment building if I have to. Destroy every tie she has to her old life. Keep her locked in this cabin until she forgets there was ever a world outside these walls.
The possession is already building. I can feel it in my bones, in my blood, in the way my hands shake when I think about another man even looking at her.
She’s mine. My mate. My everything.
But she doesn’t know that yet. And I need her to choose me willingly, not because I’ve trapped her so thoroughly she has no other option.
So I’m out here. Chopping wood like a damn fool. Avoiding the woman I’d die for because I can’t trust myself around her.
The cabin door opens.
I don’t turn around, but I hear her footsteps on the porch. Feel her eyes on my back. My bear immediately perks up, straining toward her.
“You’re avoiding me.”
Her voice cuts through the cold air. Not a question. An accusation.
I bring the ax down on another log, splitting it clean. “I’m chopping wood.”
“You’ve been chopping wood since before sunrise. The pile is taller than I am.”
“Winter is long.”
“Tolin.”
I finally turn to look at her.
She’s standing on the porch with her arms crossed, wearing my coat. It swallows her whole, the sleeves hanging past her hands, the hem hitting her mid-thigh. She looks ridiculous.
My bear practically purrs at the sight. Our mate in our clothes. Wearing our scent.
“Come inside,” she says. “It’s freezing out here.”
“I’m fine.”
“You’re being an idiot.”
“That too.”
She huffs out a breath, fog curling in the cold air, and marches down the porch steps. My whole body tenses as she stomps through the snow toward me, her boots crunching with each step.
“If you regret last night, just say so.”
I laugh. The sound comes out harsh, almost bitter. “Regret it?”
“Then what’s your problem?” She stops a few feet away, close enough that I can see the frustration burning in those olive-toned eyes. “You gave me the best orgasm of my life and now you won’t even look at me. What am I supposed to think?”
“Imani...”
“Don’t ‘Imani’ me.” She jabs a finger at my chest. “I’m not some fragile little thing you need to protect from yourself. I’m a grown woman who knows what she wants. And right now, what I want is for you to stop acting like a coward and talk to me.”
My bear rumbles with approval. Our mate has fire.
“I’m not acting like a coward.” I set the ax down, giving her my full attention. “I’m trying to control myself.”
“Control yourself from what?”
“From you.”
She blinks. “From me?”
“If I touch you again, I won’t stop.” I hold her gaze, letting her see the hunger I’ve been fighting all morning.
“Last night almost killed me. Having you in my arms, tasting you, feeling you come on my fingers.” I shake my head.
“I wanted more. I wanted everything. And if I take everything, Imani, I’m not giving it back. ”
She’s quiet for a moment, processing.
“What does that mean?”
“It means I’m possessive. More than you know.
More than is probably healthy.” I run a hand over my face, frustrated with myself, with this situation, with the mate bond that’s turning me into someone I barely recognize.
“It means if I claim you the way I want to, you’re mine.
Not just for tonight. Not just until the storm clears. Forever.”
I let that sink in.
“Forever,” she repeats slowly.
“Forever.”
I expect her to run. To tell me I’m crazy, that she didn’t sign up for this, that she needs space and time and a one-way ticket back to her quiet little life in town.
Instead, she takes a step closer.
“You think I’m scared of forever?”
“You should be.”
“Maybe.” Another step. “But I’m more scared of you pushing me away because you’re too afraid to let me in.”
My bear is howling now, desperate to close the distance, to pull her into our arms and never let go.
“Imani...”
“I’m not done.” She holds up a hand. “You’ve been carrying me around like a caveman, making me breakfast, giving me the best orgasm of my life, looking at me like I hung the moon.
And now you’re standing out here in the freezing cold because you’re scared of wanting me too much?
” She shakes her head. “That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. ”
Despite everything, I feel my lips twitch. “Dumbest?”
“Absolutely moronic. Top tier stupidity.” She’s fighting a smile now too. “You’re a seven-foot bear shifter who ripped my car door off with his bare hands, and you’re scared of your feelings?”
“I’m not scared of my feelings.”
“Then stop avoiding me.”
“I’m not...” I stop, because she’s right. I am avoiding her. And she doesn’t deserve that. “Fine. I’m avoiding you. But it’s for your own good.”
“Let me decide what’s good for me.” She erases the last few inches, tilting her head back to look up at me. “I’m a big girl, Tolin. I can handle you.”
My bear is practically vibrating with happiness. Our mate is fierce. Our mate isn’t afraid.
“There’s something I want to show you,” I say before I can talk myself out of it.
Her eyebrows rise. “Something other than your impressive wood-chopping skills?”
“My bear.”
She goes still. “Your bear?”
“You’ve felt him. The way my eyes change. The growling.” I pause. “He’s been going crazy since you got here. He wants to meet you.”
“Meet me,” she repeats. “Like... see him? The actual bear?”
“Yes.” I watch her face for signs of fear. “Before hibernation, if my bear bonds with someone, it strengthens the connection. He’ll recognize you when he wakes up. Trust you. Protect you.”
She’s quiet for a long moment. I brace myself for rejection, for her to say this is too weird, too much, too fast.
“Okay,” she says.
“Okay?”
“I want to meet him.” She squares her shoulders like she’s preparing for battle. “I want to meet all of you, Tolin. Not just the man. The bear too.”
Hope surges through me, raw and unexpected.
“He’s big,” I warn her. “Bigger than a normal bear. With scars.” I touch my face. “He has the same ones I do.”
“Good.” She reaches up and traces the raised lines on my cheek, her touch gentle. “I like your scars.”
I catch her hand before I do something stupid like kiss her senseless in the snow. “We should do this now. While I still have some self-control left.”
She nods, her eyes bright with curiosity and something else. Something that looks like excitement.
I lead her to the clearing behind the cabin. The snow is clean here, and weak sunlight pushes through the clouds.
“Stay here,” I tell her, positioning her near a large pine tree. “Don’t move until he comes to you. Let him approach first.”
“Okay.”
I back up a few steps. My hands go to the hem of my shirt.
he watches as I pull it over my head, her eyes tracking over my exposed skin, my scars, the trail of hair that disappears into my waistband. I see her swallow.
“Shifting destroys clothes,” I explain, reaching for my pants. “I’ll be naked when I change back.”
“I’ll try to contain my disappointment.”
I huff out a laugh and push my pants down.
She doesn’t look away. Her eyes travel over every inch of me. My upper body, my stomach, my dick already half-hard from her attention. Heat creeps up her cheeks but she doesn’t flinch.
“You’re beautiful,” she says quietly.
No one’s ever called me that before.
“Remember,” I say, my voice rough. “Let him come to you.”
She nods.
I close my eyes and let go.
The shift rolls through me like a wave, my body reshaping itself, bones and muscles rearranging into something new. There’s freedom in it, letting the animal take over. The release of setting aside complicated human thoughts and just existing.
When I open my eyes again, the world is different. Sharper. Brighter. Every smell amplified, every sound clear as a bell.
And there she is.
Our mate.
She’s staring at us with wide eyes, her lips slightly parted. We’re larger than she thought we’d be. I can see it in her face. My bear’s form is massive, dark brown fur thick against the cold, the scar on his face a pale slash through the fur. His eyes glow bright gold.
My bear doesn’t move. He doesn’t want to scare her. Just stands there in the snow, letting her look her fill.
“Oh,” she breathes. “Tolin.”
My bear makes a low sound. Not a growl. Something softer. A greeting.
She takes a tentative step toward him. Then another.
“You’re beautiful,” she says again, and my bear preens like a fool.
She stops a few feet away, her hand raised but not touching. Waiting for permission.
My bear closes the distance himself, pressing his massive head against her palm.
Her fingers sink into his fur and he shudders. I feel that touch everywhere, from the tips of his ears to the pads of his paws. My bear wants to roll over, show her his belly, let her rub him like a damn puppy. I’m mortified. My bear doesn’t care.
“Hey there, big guy.” Her voice is soft, wondering. She scratches behind his ear and he makes an embarrassing sound of pleasure. “You’re just a softie, aren’t you? All this grumpy bear nonsense and you just want belly rubs.”