Chapter 5
Lila
When I wake, the storm is still raging somewhere beyond the cabin walls, but here everything feels hushed and safe. My cheek rests on Thane's chest, his heartbeat a slow, steady drum beneath my ear. His arm wraps around me, heavy and sure, the best kind of anchor.
For the first time in forever, I'm not cold. Not lonely. Not searching for the next thing to fill the silence.
I'm where I belong.
I shift slightly, and the movement makes me aware of new sensations—a pleasant ache in muscles I forgot I had, the scratch of fur against bare skin, the way my body fits against his. The bond hums between us, a golden warmth that pulses in time with our heartbeats.
Thane's hand splays across my back, even in sleep keeping me close.
I tilt my head to study his face. Asleep, he looks younger somehow.
The hard lines around his mouth have softened.
His tusks catch the morning light filtering through the shutters, and I have the absurd urge to trace them with my fingertips.
So I do.
His eyes open immediately, those startling golden eyes that saw through me from the first moment. For a heartbeat we just look at each other, and I feel the bond stretch and settle, like it's checking that we're both still here, still real.
He stirs, murmuring my name like it belongs to him now. "You're awake."
I tilt my head up. "Barely."
A smile ghosts across his mouth, softer than I expected. His hand comes up to cup my face, thumb brushing my cheekbone. "How do you feel?"
The question is loaded with meaning. He's not just asking about soreness or sleep. He's asking about the bond, about what we did, about whether I regret any of it in the cold light of morning.
"Different," I say honestly. "But good different. Like I can feel you... here." I press my hand over my heart. "It's warm. Steady."
"That's the bond settling." His voice is rough with sleep and something else. Relief, maybe. "It'll get stronger over the next few days."
"Does it ever fade?"
"Never." He says it simply, certainly. "Once the bond forms, it's permanent. You'll always feel me, and I'll always feel you."
I should be terrified by that. The permanence of it, the way it binds us together without any chance of escape. Instead, I feel anchored. Safe.
"I didn't hurt you?" The question comes out gentle, careful. His eyes search my face for any sign of pain or discomfort.
"No," I whisper. "You couldn't."
He makes a sound that's half-laugh, half-growl. "I could. Easily. You're so small, Lila. So soft." His hand drifts through my hair, untangling strands with surprising gentleness. "I kept thinking I'd break you."
"But you didn't."
"Because I'd rather break myself first."
The words settle into my chest, warm and true. I lean up and kiss him, morning breath and all. He responds immediately, rolling us so I'm half-pinned beneath him, and the kiss deepens into something that makes the bond flare bright between us.
When we finally break apart, we're both breathing hard.
"We should eat," he says, though he makes no move to get up.
"Probably."
"You need to keep your strength up."
"For what?"
His smile is wicked. "For later."
Heat floods my cheeks even as I laugh. He kisses my nose, then reluctantly pulls away, reaching for his discarded clothes. I watch him dress, unashamed of my appreciation for the play of muscle under green skin, the way his body moves with predatory grace.
He catches me looking and raises an eyebrow. "See something you like?"
"Maybe."
He tosses his shirt—the one I'd been wearing—at me. "Get dressed before I forget about breakfast entirely."
I pull the shirt on, swimming in it, then wrap a fur around my shoulders. The cabin is warmer than yesterday, the fire burning steady and the storm's fury finally spent. Pale morning light filters through the shutters, casting a glow in the cabin.
Thane moves to the shelves, pulling down jars and a wrapped bundle. "I should have asked yesterday, are there foods you can't eat?"
"I'm not picky." I pad over to him, curious. "What do you usually eat?"
"Meat, mostly. Root vegetables that store well. Herbs." He unwraps the bundle to reveal dried meat and hard cheese. "We trade with humans sometimes, in the lowlands. We get flour, salt, things that don't grow up here."
"You trade? I thought you stayed hidden."
"We do. But there are some humans who know about us—who keep our secrets. They’re outcasts, too. The trade happens in neutral territory, no questions asked." He sets a cast iron pan over the fire.
I settle onto a stool, drawing my knees up under the shirt. "Tell me about your brothers."
He glances at me, a smile tugging at his mouth. "What do you want to know?"
"Everything. You said they have mates. Human mates. How did that happen?"
He slices cheese and meat with economical movements, then adds them to the pan with a handful of something that looks like wild onions. The smell makes my stomach growl audibly.
"Kroy was first," he says. "When he found Kayla, she’d tread on a hornet’s nest and was trying—and failing—to outrun the swarm. He rescued her and brought her back to his cabin. You’ll like her. She’s a writer, too.”
“I can’t wait to meet her,” I say, excited. "What about the others?"
"Drak met Jasmine in the woods. She’s a photographer and was trying to get the perfect shot of a fox when she stepped on loose rocks and slid down the mountain. She was injured, but Drak found her, took her home, and treated her injuries.”
So, one of the other orc wives is a writer and the other is a photographer. I like them already.
"Then Varn," he continues. "His mate Mazie actually came looking for us. She's a cryptozoologist with a popular podcast.” He says the word podcast like it’s a foreign concept to him.
And I realize that it probably is. “She'd heard rumors about orcs in the mountains and came to investigate. " He laughs. "Well, she found us.”
"And she stayed too?”
Thane nods. "Once the bond formed, none of them could imagine anything else. Mazie has found a way to stay in both worlds, at least a little, but it’s becoming harder and harder for her to stay away from Varn for any length of time.
She feels incomplete when they’re apart.
" He dishes the food onto two wooden plates, hands me one.
"It's always like that. The bond isn't a cage, Lila.
It's a recognition. A certainty. Our mates are free to come and go as they please… but they want to stay."
I take a bite and nearly moan. Whatever he cooked is savory and rich, the cheese melted and the meat tender. "This is amazing."
"It's just breakfast."
"It's the best breakfast I've had in months." I eat eagerly, suddenly ravenous.
We eat in comfortable silence for a while, the kind that feels intimate rather than awkward. I watch him over my plate, the way he eats with single-minded focus, the way his eyes keep drifting to me like he's checking that I'm still here.
"What are you thinking?" he asks.
"That I keep waiting to wake up," I admit. "To find out this was all a dream or a really elaborate hallucination. And if it is, I don't want to wake up."
He sets his plate aside and crosses to me, kneeling so we're eye-level. "This is real. I'm real. And you're mine." He takes my hand, presses it over his heart. "Feel that?"
His heartbeat is steady and strong under my palm. But more than that, I feel the bond—the warm golden thread connecting us. When I concentrate, I can sense his emotions. Protectiveness, satisfaction, and underneath it all, a fierce possessive tenderness that makes my breath catch.
"I feel it," I whisper.
"Good." He leans forward, resting his forehead against mine. "Because I need you to understand something, Lila. The bond goes both ways. I feel it just as strongly as you do.”
"I'm scared," I admit.
His brow furrows in concern. "Of me?"
"Of disappointing you. Of not being what you need.
" The words tumble out, carrying fears I didn't know I had.
"You're this force of nature. You're strong and capable and you know exactly who you are.
And I'm just… I came up here because I couldn't make my regular life work.
Because I keep choosing the wrong people and the wrong paths and—"
He kisses me, stopping the spiral of self-doubt. When he pulls back, his eyes are fierce.
"You think I'm not scared?" His voice is rough.
"You think I haven't spent the last day terrified that you'll realize what you've bound yourself to and want to run?
I'm an orc, Lila. I live in isolation on a mountain.
I can't give you cities or fancy restaurants or beautiful clothes or any of the things human women are supposed to want. "
"I don't want those things. I just want you."
"Maybe not now. But in a year? Five years? When the novelty wears off and you remember what you left behind?"
I cup his face, forcing him to meet my eyes. "I left behind loneliness. Deadlines that meant nothing. Stories about love I'd given up on finding for myself. I didn't leave behind anything I want to go back to. And now I have you.”
"Now you have me," he echoes, and it feels like a vow. He stands, pulling me up with him. "Come. There's something I want to show you."
He leads me to the far side of the cabin, to a wooden chest I hadn't paid attention to before. When he opens it, I see furs and fabric, but also…
"Books?" I drop to my knees beside the chest, pulling out a leather-bound volume. "You have books?"
"Some." He sounds almost embarrassed. “I will find more for you.”
I open the book carefully. It's a collection of folk tales, the pages yellowed with age. "Have you read all of these?"
"Most. Some multiple times." He crouches beside me.
"I thought you may like them. But I also have something else for you.” He digs deeper in the chest, pulls out a wrapped bundle.
When he unfolds the cloth, I see linen paper and pencils.
"It's not much, but I know you’re a writer. I thought you might like it.”
"It's perfect." I throw my arms around his neck, nearly knocking him over. "You're perfect."
He catches me, steadying us both, and his laugh rumbles through his chest. "I'm far from perfect, little human."
"You're perfect for me."
We stay like that for a long moment, wrapped around each other on the floor of his cabin, and I feel the bond pulse warm and certain between us.
This is real. This is happening. And against all odds, I’m finally exactly where I'm supposed to be.