Chapter 4
With a sigh, Penny lay the back of her hand against her forehead and allowed herself to list against the arm of the sofa.
Of course, she noted crossly, it was Hugo who observed her position first and came over to frown down at her. “Are you quite all right?”
“No,” she said, trying to keep her voice faint but brave. “I’m afraid the rigors of travel have given me the headache.”
The rest of the family began to turn and murmur, and Penny rather regretted having to make a show of it. But there was nothing for it. She must have an excuse to leave.
“What did she say?” the dowager duchess barked. “Speak up, gel. You know I’m half-deaf.”
“She said she has the headache, Grandmama,” Hugo said.
Pippa appeared at her side, her expression alarmed. “Penny, what is it?”
“Merely a headache.” Maintaining her drooping posture, Penny rose to her feet, stumbling a little.
Hugo’s hand went under her elbow to steady her, and this time she was grateful for his support. He frowned at her with an edge of worry. “Do you need help up to your room?”
Penny pulled her arm away to stand alone. “Not at all. I shall be fine with a little rest. Good evening.”
She dipped a curtsey to all, including the scowling dowager, and nodded to the footman who opened the door for her, ignoring the buzz of conversation that followed her exit. Once she was past their line of sight up the stairs, she dropped her hand from her forehead and moved more rapidly.
There wasn’t much time.
She slipped into her room, intending to go straight to the dressing room to pack. She halted in the doorway as Sally jumped up from the chair where she had been dozing by the fire.
“Do you need something, miss?”
“Yes,” Penny said, returning the back of her hand to her forehead. “I have a dreadful megrim. Please go down and see if the housekeeper has a posset for me.”
“I have headache powder right here, miss. I can mix it up for you.”
“No,” Penny said, more sharply than she intended, and the woman looked at her, taken aback. “Thank you, but no. A hot posset with chamomile will work better for me.”
“Very well, miss.” Sally bobbed a curtsey and exited as Penny sank into the chair, keeping the back of her hand on her forehead.
She waited five beats after the door to the hallway closed before springing back up.
Speeding to the dressing room, she grabbed the largest traveling bag she could carry by hand.
Rapidly, she filled it with all her necessities, adding three woolen dresses along with her chemises and stockings.
She included her coin purse and shoved the whole bag under her side of the bed with only a little effort.
She would go to her Aunt Nelson in Bath, her mother’s relative.
She was a spinster lady who lived there with her companion of many years, and surely would be willing to shelter Penny until her mother’s temper cooled.
Carlisle was no more than a day’s journey away by mail coach from the nearest village, and she could get another coach to Bath from there.
Even if she was stopped before she could reach Bath, she only needed to be gone for a day or two for Kendal to be willing to throw her over. The scandal would be far too much for him to stomach. After that, she would have to weather her mother’s rage, but it would be worth it.
She was willing to do almost anything to prevent the disaster of marrying a man her sister loved.
Footsteps in the hall sent her dashing back to the chair set next to the fireplace, where she arranged herself into a drooping posture. A frowning Pippa pushed the door open and came to stand over her.
“Really, Penny. It was terribly rude of you to leave like that.”
“I’m sorry. My joints were aching so dreadfully I just couldn’t continue on.”
As she’d known they would, her words made Pippa soften in remorse. Penny steeled herself against the guilt for manipulating her sister. It was for everyone’s own good.
“If you feel that dreadful, you should be in bed. Where is Sally?”
“I sent her down to the kitchen to fetch me a posset.” Out of the corner of her eye, Penny could see the edge of her bag just poking out from under the bed.
Pippa wandered over to sit on the edge of the bed on her own side, thankfully away from the tell-tale bag. “Mother read me a scold about O—Kendal turning the music for me.”
“As she should.” Penny was indignant all over again. “I scarcely saw Kendal at all, he was so interested in talking to you.”
Penny immediately regretted her sharpness when she saw Pippa’s hang-dog expression of guilt. Perhaps she ought to tell Pippa what she’d overheard, what she thought she knew. Surely they could solve this problem with a little plain speaking.
Instead, Pippa looked at her with a new firmness. “He was speaking of you the whole time. He is very much looking forward to the wedding.”
“I see.” Penny did not know what was worse: that Pippa was in love with her betrothed, or that she continued to lie about it.
Penny had felt an estrangement between them ever since her illness. During her recovery, Pippa had doted on her until Penny wanted to scream, but always with an air of resentment Penny did not understand.
She thought she understood now, and wondered again in hopeless frustration why Pippa refused to confide in her, even now. The stubborn set of her twin’s jaw told her Penny would never be able to shake the truth from Pippa in time to stop the wedding.
Penny set her own jaw. It didn’t matter now. The important thing was to ensure the betrothal was well and truly broken so neither she nor Kendal could be forced into going through with it.
She refused to dance to a dead man’s tune one minute longer, whether it was her grandfather’s or the old duke’s.
With a theatrical stretch, Penny yawned. “I really am dreadfully tired. I shall drink my posset when Sally returns and then prepare for bed.”
“Then I shall as well,” Pippa declared.
Penny did her best to hide her alarm. The last thing she wanted was for her sister to see her completing her preparations to leave. “No, I… I am worried the posset won’t help me sleep. Could you read to me?”
“Of course.” Penny frowned. “I don’t recall what books we brought with us.”
“All the books we brought are too interesting to put me to sleep. Surely Kendal’s library will have something more… more…”
Pippa’s lip twitched. “More dull?”
“Exactly!” They both laughed. Impulsively, Penny stood and kissed Pippa on the cheek. Her sister smiled back at her, clearly puzzled.
“What was that for?”
“I just felt like it,” Penny said. “Thank you, Pippa. Thank you for everything you do to care for me. I do appreciate it.”
“Of course,” Pippa said. “You are my sister.”
Penny resumed her wilting pose—she was becoming a bit tired of it, really —and moved to the bed to lay down, discreetly pushing the traveling bag further under the bed with her foot as she passed it.
“A book, please, Pippa. Something very dull.”
She waited another several moments after the door closed behind her sister before jumping back up give the traveling bag another shove until it fully disappeared under the bed. Almost as soon as she straightened, the door re-opened, and Sally bustled in with the posset.
“Here you are, Miss Penny. Why don’t you let me take your hair down and brush it while you drink your posset?”
“Thank you, that sounds lovely. I have such a headache.”
In reality, Penny could scarcely keep herself still, humming with energy as she allowed Sally to prepare her for bed. The other woman frowned as she returned from the dressing room with a blue nightgown in her hands.
“I was looking for that green-sprigged flannel you favor, miss, but it wasn’t there.”
“Oh, it must have been taken down to the laundress,” Penny said, guiltily aware that the nightgown in question was already packed in her bag. “I’m sure it will be returned tomorrow.”
“The laundress?” Sally looked indignant. “I know it was clean as a whistle, miss. I packed it myself.”
“Yes, I, er… spilled some perfume on it,” Penny improvised. “So clumsy of me. But the housemaid offered to take it down for me.”
Sally frowned at her and removed the barely touched posset from her hand. “I don’t know what the housekeeper put in this posset, Miss Penny, but it’s got you talking nonsense.”
Penny nodded and bit the inside of her lip to prevent herself from speaking as Sally brushed out and braided her hair before helping her into her nightdress and dressing gown.
She settled into bed with a mound of pillows behind herself and pulled the covers up.
Sally continued fussing about in the room before returning to the dressing room to tidy up there.
As soon as Sally left, Penny slipped from the bed and crossed to the tiny writing desk near the window.
She must write two notes to explain where she had gone, one for Pippa and one for Mother.
By the time they opened them, she would be well away and too far for them to catch her before the scandal began.
She folded the notes and tucked them into the pocket of her dressing gown. Her fingers brushed against the small wooden swallow, and she took it from her pocket to study it.
The bird stood on a branch, wings spread as though about to take flight. A bit of color had been rubbed into the soft wood, staining it rather than painting it, imbuing it with a glow in the candlelight.
Hugo had given it to her the one time he had seen her during the long recovery from her illness. She did not quite know why it had become a talisman to her as she regained her health, but it had.
She slipped the bird back into her pocket and returned to the bed, clambering back under the covers. Pippa was certainly taking her time with the book. Surely her twin hadn’t… encountered Kendal.
The thought stiffened her resolve even more, and allowed her to smile at her sister when she finally returned. Penny was certain Pippa’s hair was more mussed than it had been when she had left earlier, and her color was high.
“I’m sorry it took so long,” Pippa said. “I, er… I had some difficulty finding a book.”
“What did you bring?”
Her sister grinned at her, clearly knowing what Penny’s reaction would be. “Fordyce’s Sermons to Young Women.”
With a shriek of laughter, Penny flung a pillow at her head. “Not that old thing! Nurse must have read it to me a hundred times, for all the good it did.”
Crossing to sit on the edge of the bed, Pippa said gravely, “We didn’t turn out all that badly. For the most part.”
Penny could see the guilt in her sister’s eyes, so she yawned hugely and settled back against the pillows. “It’s of no matter. I think I may be able to sleep after all.”
“Are you certain? I can still read to you.”
“I’m not in much of a mood for sermons about proper female behavior tonight.”
“All right.” Pippa stood and turned towards the dressing room. Her dejected air tugged at Penny’s heart.
“Pippa?”
“Yes?”
Penny swallowed. There were dangers on the road. It was possible these could be her last words to her twin. “I do love you, you know.”
“I know. I love you, too.”
Pippa flashed a smile at her and went into the dressing room with Sally.
Penny blew out the candle at her bedside and pulled the covers over her head, eyes wide in the darkness as her thoughts raced.
She must not fall asleep. Pippa would be so worried for her.
She would only have a short time before dawn when she could slip from the house.
Mother would rage when she discovered Penny was gone.
She would need to make her way on foot to the village where the stagecoach would depart.
Kendal would likely not even notice she was gone until it was brought to his attention.
She could only hope the expected snow would hold off until she was well on her way.
What would Hugo think?
Penny took in a deep breath and let it out again. Then another, allowing her mind to calm.
For the first time since she was a child, she did not know what her future held. It was terrifying and exhilarating all at once.
She could scarcely wait to get started.