Chapter 13 #3
With a groan, he began to move, slowly at first, short strokes that became longer as her body accepted him and her pleasure began to form a spiral in her belly.
His hands gripped her thighs, holding her for his thrusts, and she allowed herself to relax, giving herself over.
She wrapped her legs around his hips, demanding more, and he obliged, moving faster until at last she cried out as the waves of pleasure burst over her.
He pulled out and thrust against her belly until he, too, shuddered and collapsed next to her, face-down on the bed. After a few deep breaths, he helped Penny bring her legs back onto the mattress and pulled her to lay against him.
Penny drew in a deep breath and let it out with a contented sigh.
She might be a little sore and sticky, but she had never been happier.
She lay with her head pillowed on Hugo’s chest, listening to the steady thump of his heartbeat.
His arm kept her snugged to his side as she stroked her fingers through his chest hair, teasing at the damp curls there.
“I suppose I’ll have to go through my trousseau when we get back to the castle,” she said. “Pick out what’s suitable for traveling and leave the rest for Pippa.”
“Traveling? Where are you going?”
Penny’s hand stilled, and she tilted her head up to frown at him. His indulgent expression only worried her more.
“To Bermuda, of course. I’m going with you.”
He shook his head, his smile fading. “I’m afraid that’s not possible.
But there should be enough time before I have to leave to find you a house in Portsmouth, or London.
Perhaps one with a bit of a garden.” At her expression, he said, “Unless you prefer to live with your parents, of course. Or your aunt.”
Penny sat up to stare down at him in shock. “What are you talking about? Of course I’m going with you.”
“You are not.” He sat up as well, a frown beginning to draw his face down. “A warship is no place for a woman. You have no idea what you’re asking.”
“You said you might be assigned to Bermuda for as long as three years, Hugo!”
“I…” He ran a hand through his tousled hair, making it stand on end. “It might be a shorter time. It could be as little as a year.”
“A year?” Penny rubbed her hands over her face and looked at him again. Her head was spinning, seeing all the fragile dreams she had been weaving crash into reality. “You wish for us to marry and then immediately separate for at least a full year? Possibly as many as three?”
“It is my duty, Penny, as it is now yours. Besides, a warship is no place for a woman."
"I've heard of many women who sail with their husbands."
"A ship is no place for you, Penny. You have no idea of the dangers. Storms, rogue waves, encounters with the enemy. You could be hurt, or even killed."
"That could happen even if you left me behind. I nearly died of a fever right here at home."
His eyes darkened, and she almost regretted bringing it up. "I know. That's why you must stay here, where there are physicians who can care for you and family who can help you. I would never forgive myself if anything happened to you onboard ship."
"I can make that decision for myself."
"You cannot, Penny. You don't understand what it's like. It's not safe."
"If it's not safe for me, it's not safe for you, either."
He ran a frustrated hand through his hair, making it stand on end. She tried not to let it soften her heart. Not when wanting to be with him was her reason for fighting for it.
"It's impossible. I'm sorry, Penny."
He reached for her, but she moved back, away from his grasp. "Then it's impossible for us to marry."
He gaped at her. "What? We must marry now. My honor requires it."
"My honor requires me to not tie myself to a man who doesn't have enough courage to live his life with me.
I refuse to allow you to wrap me in cotton wool and leave me behind.
" Penny groped on the floor for her discarded chemise and pulled it over her head, needing that slight physical barrier between them now.
"But you're ruined now. You must marry me."
Penny shrugged with an insouciance she did not feel.
"I have money of my own that Grandpapa left me.
I can get a cottage somewhere, or live with Aunt Nelson if she allows it after this.
I could even travel." The prospect cheered her even through her anger.
“I could travel to Bermuda on my own. Or Turkey, like Lady Hester Stanhope. Or... or anywhere I pleased.”
Hugo blinked, his expression horrified, as though he was watching his dreams crumble with hers. "But— "
"That is my final word, Hugo. You cannot force me to marry you, and I refuse to marry a man too cowardly to allow me to stay by his side."
"Cowardly?"
"Yes. Cowardly."
With a huff, she flopped down on her side, her back to him. When he tried to argue further, she pulled a pillow over her head to block him out.
If she had wanted a distant marriage, she would have stayed and married Kendal. She had no intention of allowing Hugo to keep her at arms' length.
She wanted all of him, or nothing at all.