Chapter Fourteen
‘Lucy!’ yelled Chantal, a little too enthusiastically for it to seem genuine. ‘Are you OK? You look a little . . .’
‘A little what?’ asked Lucy, quickly pulling off the head torch and attempting to flatten her hair.
Marco had once told her that she was one of those people who never looked truly bad – even when she was hung-over, her hair needed a wash, and she had period spots.
But right now Lucy suspected she was testing that theory to the limit.
‘Come and have a drink,’ said Monica, extracting the bundle of wet clothes from her arms and ushering her to the empty booth she and Nate had made their own earlier. ‘I’ll hang these up for you.’
‘Thank you,’ mumbled Lucy, sliding into the corner.
She felt a tiny buzz of pleasure when Nate shuffled in to join her, immediately pouring her a glass of wine.
Her head felt fuzzy and hung-over and she definitely didn’t need any more booze, but right now she was a little caught off guard by the whole Ed Sheeran thing and it seemed like the only way forward.
The others all bustled over, filling up the remaining seats around the table, clearly keen to hear more from Nate and not let the moment end.
‘You OK?’ he asked.
Lucy drained half the glass, nodding vaguely in his direction. ‘You never told me you were a singer.’ She didn’t mean for it to sound quite so accusatory, but after he’d made such an effort to big up her writing skills earlier, he might at least have mentioned this pretty interesting talent.
‘I’m not,’ said Nate quickly, and even in the dim light Lucy could see he looked mortified.
‘I mean, I’ve always wanted to be, obviously, and I sing in the car and the shower.
But that’s it.’ Lucy could see Felix leaning forward, getting ready to share his professional wisdom, until Andrea gently placed a hand on his arm and he changed his mind.
‘Have you ever sung for an audience before?’ asked Alex, and Lucy couldn’t help but notice that he looked a little sour that Nate was hogging the Guntherhütte spotlight.
Or maybe being the kind of person who engineered moments like this specifically for social media engagement, he was cynical about Nate’s genuine surprise and sincerity.
‘No,’ said Nate. ‘That was definitely a one-off.’
‘You mean I almost missed your one and only gig?’ asked Lucy, giving him a playful prod. ‘Wow.’
‘Don’t,’ said Nate. He looked nauseous, like he’d already boarded the regret bus and it was only going one way.
‘I think your vocals could—’ started Felix, holding up a finger.
‘You can play guitar,’ interrupted Andrea, leaning forward to block Felix’s view of Nate. ‘You are very good.’
‘I taught myself from YouTube,’ mumbled Nate. ‘I’ve never done that in front of anyone either.’
‘Being very drunk in a room full of strangers is extremely liberating,’ said Willem. ‘You should go on one of the TV talent shows. Like The X Factor, or The Voice. We watch the British versions on Dutch TV.’
Nate laughed and shook his head. ‘Definitely not. I’ve thought about it loads of times, but I’m never going to have the guts to do that in front of an audience.’
‘We are an audience,’ said Monica kindly. ‘A very lucky one.’
‘Well, thanks,’ said Nate. He stared at his hands, which were still shaking a little. ‘Who else is going to have a go?’
‘I definitely can’t sing,’ said Alex, looking slightly resentful about it. ‘But I’m happy to take the videos. Willem has a nice voice.’
‘Do you want to sing something together, Lucy?’ asked Willem. ‘I know the words to every Britney Spears song ever. Even the album tracks.’
‘I need to drink more wine first,’ said Lucy, draining her glass and reaching for the bottle. This whole situation with Nate, the rush of feelings she’d had when she’d seen him singing, had left her feeling agitated and confused.
‘I think Andrea and I should sing some more,’ said Felix, clearly annoyed that Nate had stolen Night Fever’s thunder. ‘Maybe “More Than A Woman”.’
Andrea headed over to the stool and picked up the guitar, throwing Lucy a glance that she decided to interpret as a cry for help.
‘Can Andrea sing something else?’ asked Lucy lightly.
‘What do you mean?’ replied Felix, glaring at her.
‘Oh,’ said Lucy, as Andrea shook her head frantically. ‘We love the Bee Gees, obviously. But I wondered if Andrea could sing something like . . . I don’t know. Maybe Adele?’
‘Only Adele can sing Adele,’ said Felix gruffly. ‘We sing the Bee Gees.’
‘Tragedy,’ muttered Alex, prompting Lucy to turn away, pressing her lips together to stop herself laughing.
‘Oh,’ said Nate, suddenly sitting upright and checking his old-school, functioning wristwatch. ‘It’s just past midnight, which means it’s actually Lucy’s birthday.’
Lucy looked at him and raised her eyebrows. Her birthday wasn’t until June.
‘Oh Lucy, happy birthday!’ cried Monica, as everyone else joined in.
‘Maybe just one Adele song, since it’s Lucy’s birthday?’ said Andrea, looking hopefully at Felix. He pouted for a few long seconds, which gave Lucy time to give Nate a what the fuck have you done? look. He shrugged and pulled a too late now face in return.
Felix sighed, rubbing his hand over his stubbly jaw. ‘Just one song,’ he said to Andrea. ‘I made a promise to Robin Gibb, remember?’
‘I know,’ said Andrea gravely. ‘But these are special circumstances. It’s just for Lucy, for her birthday.’
Felix nodded reluctantly and pressed the palms of his hands together against his lips, no doubt asking the Gibb brothers, alive and dead, for forgiveness.
Andrea cleared her throat and strummed out the first few bars of ‘Make You Feel My Love’.
Her voice was rich and pure, her eyes closed; she was entirely absorbed in the song.
Lucy hugged her knees, a stupid grin on her face.
She turned and looked at Nate, who spread his left arm along the back of the seat.
It felt like an invitation, somehow, and for a moment Lucy was tempted to slide along and rest her head on his shoulder.
Shoving her weird feelings aside, it still felt like some kind of .
. . something might come out of this crazy shared experience.
A friendship, maybe. Or an understanding.
That obviously didn’t justify intimate physical contact of any kind, but it was a nice thought all the same.
Especially as Chantal was looking at her like she wanted to poke her eyes out, which was a bonus.
The whole room sat in silence for the duration of the song, swaying along and listening to Andrea pour her heart into every line. She had a soulful, husky voice that was, by any standards, wasted on the Bee Gees.
‘That was beautiful,’ cheered Monica as Andrea’s voice faded out through the final line. She smiled, her face lighting up.
‘It’s actually a Bob Dylan song,’ huffed Felix dismissively, as Monica disappeared into the kitchen, dragging Chantal with her.
‘Then maybe Andrea should sing an Adele original,’ said Lucy quickly.
‘I would love to,’ said Andrea, before Felix could interrupt. ‘And since it’s your birthday, you should choose. What’s your favourite?’
Lucy thought for a moment, weighing up whether to ask Andrea for a crowd-pleasing belter, or the song she really wanted to hear.
‘ “When We Were Young”,’ she said quietly. ‘Do you know the words?’
‘Of course,’ said Andrea. ‘It’s a beautiful song.
’ She began to sing, and Lucy wrapped one arm around her knees again and pressed the other one over her mouth.
She thought about the last time she’d seen Leo, when they’d both spent Christmas at home with their parents.
He’d been a little quiet, but Lucy had put that down to being stressed and anxious about a promotion he’d just had at work.
He was only twenty-one, but already being noticed by management and earmarked for big things.
He mentioned a relationship that hadn’t panned out, but didn’t go into details.
They’d made vague plans to maybe go away together in June, to celebrate their twenty-second birthday and Lucy finishing her finals, but never talked about exactly where they might go.
Whilst at times during that week they’d regressed to childhood silliness and private jokes, Lucy had felt the loss of connection between them, the loosening of the stitches in their sibling fabric.
It felt like an occasional glitch, or a record scratch when one of them would say something and they’d look at each other as if to say who is this person?
But Lucy had rationalised that they were both adults now, living away from the baggage of home and school.
Over time they would start to value each other in a different way, and find time to make new memories together.
They were twins, and that was an unbreakable, everlasting bond.
They’d hugged goodbye just before New Year, and the next time she’d seen her brother he was in a wooden box in Croydon crematorium.
The tears flowed freely down her cheeks; eleven years of pain and loss and regret and unanswered questions.
It was only when the song came to a close and the room exploded into rapturous applause that she noticed Nate’s arm around her, his hand gently stroking her shoulder.
One of them had moved closer during the song, and right now Lucy couldn’t say if it was her or Nate.
‘Was that for Leo?’ asked Nate quietly, handing Lucy a napkin so she could blow her nose. All the attention was on Andrea for the moment, which felt like a relief.
‘Mmm,’ said Lucy, dabbing her face and trying to catch her breath. ‘The song came out after he died, so it wasn’t a favourite of his or anything. But it always makes me think of him.’
‘What kind of music did he love?’
Lucy forced a weak smile. ‘Dance music, drum ’n’ bass, UK garage. He was a huge fan of Craig David, actually. We both were.’