Chapter Two #2
I bite my bottom lip, wanting so badly to tell him that’s not what I’m doing, but he’d see right through it. Max isn’t just my cousin; he’s my best friend. I would’ve asked him to be my best man—if Sarah had ever said yes. So of course he knows I’d be lying.
“I know you’re right,” I say instead. “It’s just…upsetting, you know? That she’d get married. Just like that. So soon after…after I practically begged her to marry me—”
“Dash, don’t. You can’t keep replaying how things went down.”
“I’m not—”
“You are.” Max sighs. “I’m not trying to be harsh. You know that, right?”
“Yeah, man. I know.” I blow out another breath.
“All right. And you know I love you, right?”
“Right.”
“Good. Then I’m going to give you my best piece of advice.” He pauses. “You ready?”
Am I ready? Whatever advice he’s going to offer isn’t going to be sugarcoated, and I doubt it’ll involve keeping up with Sarah. But I know it will probably be the best thing for me.
“Come on, Dash. Your demeanor on your livestream was pitiful. Your fans may not see through the happy-go-lucky mask you put on, but I can.” Again, he pauses. This time, for effect. I just know it. “It’s time to move on and be genuinely happy again. Now. Are you ready?”
“Yeah,” I huff. “I’m ready.”
“Okay. Good. Now listen.” It’s impossible not to hear the triumphant smile in Max’s voice. “You’re going to block Sarah on all social media.”
“But, Max—”
“Nope. No but Max nothing. You said you were ready for the truth, and now you’ve got to own it.”
I run my tongue along my teeth, hating this, yet knowing it’s what I need to do. “All right. Fine. Consider her blocked.”
“Atta boy. Now, you need to make me a promise.” I can picture Max rubbing his hands together as if he’s some scheming villain.
“A promise, huh?”
“Yep. A promise. One that will benefit you. A faster way to help you get over how Sarah did you dirty.”
“Okay.” I hold out the last syllable, intrigued but also…skeptical.
“Think of a woman you know that you’re attracted to.”
I consider the single women I know, but struggle to see any of them in a romantic light. My mind draws one big blank. “None come to mind.”
“Are you for real right now? Dash DiFranco, hottest hockey player this side of the Mississippi, can’t think of one woman he’s attracted to besides his ex?”
“Your opinion of me is truly flattering,” I deadpan.
“I’m just surprised is all.” He releases a harsh breath. “Okay, fine. Then when you do meet someone you’re attracted to, because it will eventually happen, I want you to ask her out. Right then and there. Don’t wait.”
His demand makes my spine go rigid and my jaw clench. My body physically clams up at the thought of putting myself out there again. If the simple thought of doing so gives me this visceral of a reaction, how hard will it be to actually do it?
“Your silence isn’t exactly reassuring.” Max chuckles.
I sigh. “Well, I don’t love the thought of asking someone else out right now.”
“Who says it has to be right now? You yourself said you couldn’t think of even one attractive woman in your orbit.”
I roll my eyes at his exaggeration. “That’s not what I said. I know plenty of attractive women, they just aren’t ones I personally am attracted to.”
“I’m sorry, my brain does not compute.”
I blink up at the ceiling, at a loss for how to explain to my serial dating cousin that just because a woman is beautiful doesn’t mean she’s for me. Pretty sure he thinks any woman who looks his way twice is perfect for him.
Biting the inside of my cheek, I do my best to come up with an explanation he’ll identify with. “I want that spark, you know?” I say, hoping that doesn’t sound too cliché.
“A spark like you had with Sarah.”
“Like I thought I had with Sarah, yeah.”
“Hm,” he hums. “A spark…” He trails off, seeming to contemplate something.
“I want more than physical attraction. I crave connection. Like that electric current flowing between two people, the sheer magnetism that makes you want to stay close to them...”
It’s the only way I know how to describe it. I felt that spark of connection with my ex. Whether or not she felt the same is up for debate, but on my end, it was there.
“I think I know what you mean.” Max’s voice takes on a stunned quality, almost like he’s had an epiphany of his own.
“Max? You okay?”
He clears his throat. “What? Oh, uh, yeah. Fine. Anyway, do you promise me you’ll do that, Dash? Ask the first girl you’re genuinely attracted to—the next one who makes you feel that spark— out on a date?”
It’s a tall order, honestly. One I’m not sure I can fulfill. But he’s not wrong about me needing to get over Sarah fast. The woman is married. Involved in a lifetime commitment. I can’t very well sit around and wait for her, knowing she didn’t choose me now and never will.
“All right,” I say on a sigh. “I’ll do it. Promise.”
“Awesome.” Max’s smile sounds like it’s back in full force. “You won’t regret it, cuz. It’ll be hard at first, sure, but I think once you put yourself out there again, you’ll see how fun dating beautiful women can really be." Spoken like a true Casanova.
“We’ll see.”
“Aw, come on. You used to be a real ladies’ man.”
A harsh laugh escapes. “Yeah, okay. Once upon a time. In college, maybe.”
“And before. You had like three high school girlfriends you used to rotate between.”
I shake my head, smiling. “I think you’re confusing me with you.”
“What? Naw. Don’t think so.”
"Hey, how's Lexi doing?" I always make it a point to ask about his sister, my sweet cousin, Lexi. She recently had a rough bout with cancer, but from what I've heard from mom, is doing a lot better.
"She's stable. For now, at least."
"Glad to hear it, man. Tell her I love her."
"Will do." Another voice echoes through the intercom in the background. “Look, that’s my flight. Gotta go fly a plane and all that.”
“You go. Have fun.”
“Love you, man.”
“Love you too, Max. See you soon.” I drop my phone into my lap and scrub my hands down my face.
And that’s when the gravity of my promise sets in.
Can I, in good conscience, force myself to do what he’s asking of me?
After all that happened with Sarah, I’m not sure I can.
But a promise is a promise…even if it feels like an impossible one.