Chapter 7
Elliot
There was never a moment in the world that was so perfect.
My alpha—I could only refer to him as mine inside my own head, where it was safe—had me cradled in his arms, and we were still naked.
The sheet barely covered us. I needed another shower, even though I had showered after my workout.
The delicious-smelling roast that Silas cooked was ready and waiting for us in the kitchen.
“We should get up. The dinner you made will spoil,” I said.
He kissed the top of my head. “It’s in a crock pot. It’ll sit there on warm until we are ready for it.”
“If you say so,” I said. “I don’t know a damn thing about cooking.”
He laughed. His chest vibrated with movement.
I loved that sound. I wished I could record it so I could listen to it while I was away from him. Only that seemed like something a creep would do or an omega stupidly obsessed with their alpha.
Silas went quiet and his arms tightened around me. It was as if the air shifted. He had been quiet since his meeting. When I’d returned from the gym, we went straight to bed even though it was the middle of the day. He dodged my questions about what his meeting was about.
“What?” I asked.
His jaw was set. “What, what?” he said.
“You’re being serious and kind of weird. What’s going on?”
“I didn’t say anything.”
“Well, the silence is serious.”
“That doesn’t make sense.” He wouldn’t meet my eyes. There was something he wasn’t telling me.
His tone told me I hit a nerve. “What is it, Silas?”
He closed his eyes and let out a long sigh. “Ah fuck. I should have known I couldn’t keep anything from you for long. We need to have a serious discussion.”
My stomach twisted. I scrambled away. He tried to hold me in place, but I pulled away.
I hated discussions, serious or otherwise.
I just wanted to do what I wanted to do.
Things were going perfectly. My game was fucking perfect.
Our relationship was perfect. I couldn’t ask for more.
I certainly didn’t want less. This was our only time together for the next several weeks, why did we have to have a serious discussion?
But what if he wanted less? Less of me in his life. He could have finally wised up and realized that I was never going to be the domestic omega that so many alphas prayed for. That wasn’t going to be me.
I wasn’t going to be here to greet him after his travels. I wasn’t going to clean the apartment or care about the color of our pillows.
“I’m not ever going to cook,” I said. “And I suck at cleaning. We make enough money we can hire a person.”
“What?” Silas’s brow shot up, and the little wrinkle in his forehead came together. “What are you talking about?”
“This is where you lecture me about being the better omega, right? It took you long enough.”
Silas sighed, his shoulders sagging and his eyes turning sad. Fuck, what sort of news was he about to tell me? “It’s not that. It wouldn’t ever be that, Elliot. You know me better than that,” he said. “Fuck.” He ran a hand through his hair. “Can we put clothes on?”
I folded my arms over my naked chest and let the sheet I had brought with me when I scrambled out of the bed fall to the floor. “No.” Because I wanted to defy everything that he was possibly going to say to me. If having me naked in front of him put him off, then great, that gave me the edge.
“I just wanted to let you know that I’ve been offered a job.” He stayed sitting on the bed, his skin peppering with goosebumps now that I’d taken all the covers.
“You love your job. Why would you ever leave your job? Did you apply somewhere else? Where? A different league?”
He shook his head. “I didn’t apply anywhere. I didn’t even know it was going to be an option, at least not for a few years.”
My stomach went from twisted to plummeting thirty-four flights in a moment, as if I was on a roller coaster and I wasn’t sure if I was going to vomit or pass out.
“They’re promoting me to LIcK,” he said. “Effective immediately. Ethan is going to retire. Well, he was going to retire at the end of the season, but he’s leaving early now, and they need another official. They asked me. That was what my meeting was about today.”
Of all the things… Of course this would happen when things were going so well. I knew this was coming someday. As much as I butted heads with refs, I respected their skills, and I knew Silas had skills. He was the best of them, and LIcK was stupid for not promoting him sooner.
“Congratulations,” I said, cringing. I knew I couldn’t be involved with a ref. Especially not a ref in my league. Of all the relationships anyone could possibly have, this one had to be the most forbidden. He would be accused of being partial in order to give my team the edge. It would never work.
Sure, they didn’t like alphas and omegas on the same team, or even opposing teams, to be in a relationship.
It caused a conflict of interest. Technically that was against policy also, but there were edge cases that they let slip through the cracks.
But what was even more of a conflict of interest was a referee in a relationship with anyone.
They didn’t even allow referees to be related to any of the players—not uncles or parents or cousins twice removed.
Officials had to maintain neutrality on everything in order to keep the game fair.
“Well, that’s it then,” I said. “It’s been fun.”
“What? I—”
I didn’t give him a chance to talk about our options. I knew what they were. “Well, you’re not quitting your job and I’m not quitting mine. I’m not going to become some domestic omega that sits at home. They won’t let me play in the lower leagues. I’m too good. You know that.”
“Of course. I would never ask that of you. Elliot—”
I swallowed, pushing down the emotions that were overtaking my mind, digging their fingernails into my brain. I wasn’t going to deprive myself of my goals and get in the way of what I truly wanted.
I forgot for a moment that I was standing there naked. The cool air of the room hit me full blast, and I wanted to grab the sheet from the floor.
Silas sat there naked as well, with nothing to cover him.
I might as well enjoy the view. It was the last time I was going to see it.
“I’ll pack a bag. I can go stay with Evan, I guess. Since Rowan moved out, he’s got that spare room.”
Silas scowled. “Elliot. You’re going to go stay with another alpha?”
“Yeah. What’s the big deal? I spend time with alphas all the time when I’m on the road.”
Silence filled the void between us. Silas nodded, his gaze turning away from me. I knew my words held a double meaning. He had to know I didn’t actually sleep with other alphas.
“We can part as friends, right?” I asked.
“I mean, of course. It doesn’t have to be weird at all.” Silas still wouldn’t look at me. He blinked rapidly, looking everywhere but at me.
“We’re done then, right?” I asked. The air in the room came to a standstill. It was quiet, like we could hear a pin drop.
“Yeah. I guess we are.”
His voice had a funny tone to it that I’d never heard before. I almost took a step closer to him. One last hug, one last kiss? But I couldn’t do it. If I got closer to him, I’d never leave his arms.
“Do you need help packing? Or want me to leave while you gather your stuff? You can also have the—”
“Nah, I’m good. I don’t have much.”
“You’re welcome to anything.”
I looked around the space, mentally taking inventory of everything here. Pretty much everything that I had purchased was my gear and my clothes. I suppose I bought the picture of us that was on the bookshelf, but it had been a gift, so it didn’t count.
Not much of anything was just mine. Silas bought it all. He was the one who made this place a home. He’d picked out the bedspread, the sheets, the artwork on the walls. Even the curtains were chosen by him. I had been content with bare walls and windows.
“Everything I need is in my bag,” I said. “Next time I’m in town, I’ll just grab the rest of my stuff. Do you know what your schedule will be?”
“No idea,” Silas said. “I think I’m supposed to go to headquarters tomorrow and meet with a few people.”
“Cool. Well, congratulations. That is really exciting.”
“Yeah, it’s great. I love it.” The man was in shock. His voice was dull and listless. I felt the same.
I could shake his hand, or pat him on the back, or just turn around and walk away. I opted for the last one.
“I’ll see you on the ice,” I said.
“Yeah, on the ice.”