Chapter 9
9
When Josie woke the next morning, it took a few seconds for the events of the previous day to rush back. Heat swept through her, bringing with it a crushing mixture of embarrassment and lust.
Had she really yelled swear words across the idyllic French landscape and then shagged her business partner’s estranged brother? She wouldn’t be surprised to find she’d dreamt it. It was all so surreal.
Sitting up, she took a slow breath before turning to look at Connor, sleeping soundly next to her. He was lying on his side, facing her, his top arm slung forward across his bare chest. In the semi-darkness she could only just make out the contours of his face, his strong jaw and high cheekbones, the slash of his eyebrow.
He was quite something to look at.
She allowed herself to imagine for a second what it would be like to wake up next to him every day. The thought made her tremble. He unnerved her. He definitely wasn’t the type of guy she usually went for. He was too unpredictable, too unstable. She liked men she could feel secure around. Men she could control. And that wasn’t Connor by any stretch of the imagination.
It had been an oddly cathartic experience, talking to him about what had happened at work, and he’d been really sweet about it, but she was furious with herself for letting her guard down like that. What must he think of her? And the sex. Oh, God, the hot, desperate, messy sex. She’d been totally out of her mind last night.
Shuffling to the edge of the bed and swinging her legs out slowly, she found she was twitchy and on edge. How was one supposed to act after a night of hot sex with a virtual stranger? She had absolutely no idea.
Grabbing some clean underwear, a pair of shorts and a vest top, she quietly left the room so as not to wake him. She needed a strong cup of coffee and some time to compose herself before she faced him again.
After taking a speedy shower in the bathroom she swiped mascara onto her lashes and took stock of herself in the mirror. The sun had turned her usually creamy skin a subtle honey colour and she was pleased to see it rather suited her. She could almost pass for healthy-looking.
Down in the kitchen, she was watching the last bit of coffee drip into the jug when she heard a noise behind her and turned to find Connor leaning against the doorjamb. He’d put on a pair of shorts, but he was still bare-chested.
Her heart nearly leapt out of her body at the sight of him.
When she was finally able to drag her gaze up from where the perfectly contoured triangle of his hips disappeared into the top of his shorts she attempted to focus on his face. Had she really kissed him all over last night, running her tongue along the lines that delineated his muscles and ending up somewhere very delicious indeed? It was almost impossible to look him in the eye with those memories flashing through her mind.
‘Morning,’ she said. Playing it cool was the only way she could deal with this.
He smiled in an I-know-just-what’s-going-through-that-dirty-mind-of-yours way and ran a hand through his bedhead hair.
Her mind flicked to the image of him asleep. The look of peace on his strong face had made him seem more vulnerable somehow, but there was no trace of that left now. He was back to being the bear of a man she was used to.
‘Morning, Josie. How’s your head today?’ he said.
Clearly, he was having no problem whatsoever with the fact that they’d screwed each other silly last night. She envied him his total imperturbability.
‘Fine. Good. It’s not… er… it’s fine. Thanks.’
Where had her power of speech scurried off to?
Connor grinned and sauntered over to where she was hovering by the coffee maker. Leaning across, he grabbed the jug and poured them both a mugful before handing one to her without a word.
She leant back against the worktop, grateful for its sturdiness in the face of her sudden inability to support her own body weight. She focused on him slotting bread into the toaster to calm herself. God, she loved how he moved.
How was she ever going to function normally in his presence again? She really needed to get things straight here before she lost her mind.
‘So, what happens now?’ she asked, casually flicking her hair over her shoulder and simultaneously sloshing coffee onto the floor by her feet.
‘We drink coffee.’ He glanced down at the floor in amusement. ‘Preferably out of our mugs.’
‘No, I mean how is this going to work? You and I?’ she asked, ignoring a hot flush of embarrassment.
He turned to look at her and smiled. ‘Do you want me to write you a schedule of events?’
Despite her awkwardness, Josie couldn’t help laughing. ‘That won’t be necessary, thanks. I meant… Oh, I don’t know what I meant. I have no clue what to think about all this.’
He moved to where she stood against the worktop and put one hand on either side of her body, trapping her. The heat of his presence warmed her clammy skin.
‘Josie, relax. Stop trying to plan everything and just go with it.’
Leaning in, he kissed her nose. He smelt of sleep with an undertone of his own peppery scent.
Josie closed her eyes, allowing herself to enjoy the closeness of his body for a moment. She was uncomfortably aware that she needed to keep some part of herself aloof from him. He would be leaving soon, and she needed to make it as easy on herself as possible.
‘Okay, well, I’m going to go and make some more notes on that tender I was writing before I completely forget it,’ she said on reflex, forgetting her decision to step away from work. It was a natural defence mechanism – a habit she’d developed when she needed to avoid the real world.
His body stiffened and he pushed himself away to arm’s length. ‘Josie…’ There was a gentle reprimanding tone in his voice. ‘If you want this holiday to do you some good, you’re going to have to keep your head out of work.’
‘I—’ she began.
‘No work. No writing documents.’
There was a heavy silence while she considered the wisdom of his words. She really had no leg to stand on after what she’d told him last night.
‘Yeah. Okay.’
He nodded and moved away as his toast popped up. She watched him spread it with butter and honey and wolf it down while she sipped her coffee. He even managed to make eating breakfast look sexy.
‘So, what are your plans for the day? No more treks in the midday heat, I hope,’ he said, breaking into her thoughts about what she’d love to do with the rest of that honey.
She cleared her throat before trusting herself to speak. ‘I’m going to stay here today. I might even try some cooking. I hear it’s relaxing.’
Connor nodded, raising a questioning eyebrow. He looked as if he was going to say something, then shrugged.
‘Good luck with that,’ he said at last. ‘I’m going out.’
The disappointment nearly floored her.
‘Oh. Okay.’ She struggled to keep her voice level, not wanting him to see how much this affected her. Not even sure why it did. Just because they’d had sex, it didn’t mean he was under any obligation to spend all his time with her. ‘Have a good time,’ she said lamely.
He ran a hand through his tousled hair. Turned as if to go. Turned back. ‘You should come with me.’
Her head shot up. ‘What?’
‘Come to the beach with me. It might keep you out of trouble for a while.’
Excitement flooded through her, followed closely by unease. Perhaps she was pushing her luck here. He didn’t really want her tagging along but obviously felt sorry for her.
‘Maybe I should rest up here today?’ she hedged.
‘Be ready to go in half an hour.’
She glimpsed a hint of a smile in his eyes.
Before she had time to utter another word he turned and walked away, and she heard him mount the stairs, apparently taking them two at a time.
* * *
What had made him do that? Connor wondered as he showered. He’d been all set to get away from the house and clear his head when he’d done a complete U-turn.
What had happened with Josie last night had him spun. He’d felt an almost animalistic urge to protect her and the ferocity of the feeling had shocked him. She was obviously embarrassed today about what they’d done so he’d thought the kindest thing to do would be to give her some space.
It had been the look on her face, he decided, when he’d said he was leaving her alone, that had changed his mind. She’d looked so forlorn he hadn’t been able to bring himself to do it.
She was obviously trying to hide the fact she wanted to go out to save face, but he could sense her desperation to leave the farmhouse. She was going to go stir-crazy on her own. Cold turkey was insanely difficult to handle when you didn’t have company.
Besides, it would be more fun to go to the beach with someone else. It didn’t have to mean anything. They were two people who just happened to have had sex, going to the beach for a change of scene. As he’d pointed out last night, it wasn’t as if there was any future in this thing between them. It was a holiday fling – nothing more.
He dressed in khaki shorts and a light cotton T-shirt, grabbed his sunglasses and went to find Josie.
She was waiting for him in the kitchen, a bag at her feet, drumming her fingers against the table top. Was she playing a tune in her head? he wondered. The movement of her fingers reminded him of a pianist’s.
‘Do you play?’
She spun around, looking flustered. ‘I’m sorry?’
‘The piano? Do you play? You always seem to be tapping out a rhythm. I wondered if you were playing to yourself.’
She smiled. ‘Nothing gets past you, does it?’
‘Nope.’
‘Actually, I do play, but I haven’t for a while. I miss my piano.’
‘Well, maybe we can do something about that.’ He bent down and picked up her bag. ‘Let’s go.’
He clocked her confused expression and smiled to himself. Today was going to be fun.