Chapter 12
12
They were both quiet for the journey home. Connor had put the roof up on the car, enclosing them in their own uncomfortably intimate world. Without anything else to do, Josie ran over and over their earlier conversation in her head until she thought she’d go crazy with it.
She was hyper-aware that she’d ruined his fun trip to the seaside by bringing her self-esteem issues along for the ride. No wonder she’d been single for so long. She had no idea how to handle herself in these sorts of situations.
Finally, they swung into the long driveway of the farmhouse and Connor jerked the car to a halt, jamming on the handbrake then unfastening his seatbelt in one swift movement.
He turned to face her, his gaze steady and cool, but she could have sworn she glimpsed a flash of confusion in his eyes.
‘Home safe,’ he said.
Without another word he swung himself out of the car and strode away, letting himself in through the heavy oak door of the house.
She sat in stultified silence, staring after him, reluctantly acknowledging the throb of longing deep inside her.
He truly was the most fascinating man she’d ever met – not to mention the most devastatingly attractive. After everything he’d gone through, he was still moving on with his life, making things better and infinitely more comfortable for people who had no way of achieving that by themselves. Was she really going to give up the opportunity to spend more time with him so easily? She’d be a total fool to end things like this.
Her heart thumped against her chest. Her body was a mess of emotions. That wasn’t what she wanted. When she’d given in last night, she’d told herself it was purely for the sex. A physical thing. She was going about this fling in completely the wrong way, pushing him too hard with questions he didn’t want to answer and attaching emotions to things she had no business getting involved in.
And now she was overthinking things, as usual.
Keep it simple, stupid.
Jumping out of the car, she hurried after him, determined to pull things back to how they’d been before their trip out.
* * *
Connor felt like punching the wall. What the hell was he doing, opening up about his past? For years he’d locked the memories safely in the back of his head and avoided conversations about his family with anyone he met. But Josie was different. The problem was, she already knew part of the story, and he was sure she wouldn’t have dropped the subject until she’d got her answers. She was a wily one.
It had seemed the simplest thing at the time to tell her everything and then move on, but in recounting the story out loud he’d brought back the paralysing feelings of insecurity and rejection he’d been repressing for years.
Her reaction had unsettled him – the comment about him being stubborn had made him feel petty and ignorant. After such a long time it seemed completely natural for him to avoid any contact with Abi, but perhaps she had changed? He certainly didn’t recognise his sister from Josie’s descriptions of her.
Her about-face on the fling had him rattled, too. It was always him that decided when a relationship was over, and he didn’t like having the power taken away from him.
Not that he should care in the slightest. Josie Marchpane was nothing to him – just a blip on his radar, soon to be history.
So what was this sinking feeling in his gut?
The snug was cool and dim after the hot glare of the sun and it soothed his overheated body to sit alone in the darkness, away from Josie’s tormenting presence. Maybe he should leave? It was going to be awkward as hell to stay here with her in the house – especially now she’d started mining away at his emotional barriers.
But why the hell should he be the one to go? The whole purpose of coming here had been to get back to base and attempt to work out why the satisfaction he’d previously reaped from his projects was eluding him now. With a start, he realised he’d barely thought about that since meeting Josie.
He pondered it all now.
It wasn’t as though he was bored; he had so much going on and regularly met new and interesting people. His lifestyle allowed him to keep things light and entertaining, to walk away when he felt he’d experienced all he wanted to out of a situation. It comforted him to know he could up and leave when it suited him – he enjoyed being a shadow, a ghost that left an impression but nothing tangible.
The idea of being responsible long-term for someone else chilled his blood; he was more well-suited to giving little and often, spreading out the help he could offer to strangers.
Like last night. He’d enjoyed seeing Josie bloom beneath his hands – it had excited him like nothing else had in a long while – but now she knew more about him than he’d usually admit to and it had left him vulnerable and uncomfortable.
He sighed, rubbing a hand over his face. Maybe he’d made a mistake, getting involved with Josie – even on a superficial level. He’d assumed she was aloof and controlled enough to handle a short fling, but apparently, he’d been wrong. And she was too distracting, with her idiosyncrasies and her unnerving ability to keep taking him by surprise.
He sat up straighter in his seat.
Or perhaps this had all been part of a cunning ruse to get rid of him. He couldn’t stop a smile from spreading across his face at the thought. He wouldn’t put it past her.
But he didn’t really believe that. Her body language gave her away; she still wanted him for real, just as he wanted her – he’d bet his Triumph on it.
He heard the front door open and close and braced himself for seeing her again.
The room dimmed even more as she stood in the doorway, blocking out the light from the hallway.
‘Don’t worry, I’ll leave,’ he said, pre-empting her opening gambit. ‘Dibs wins after all.’
‘Don’t go.’ Her voice was firm, but affable.
He frowned, surprised by her sudden change of mood.
‘I’m sorry for asking so many questions,’ she said, moving into the room and sitting down on the couch next to him. ‘It’s really not my place to judge you. Can we forget about it and enjoy the rest of our time together?’ She turned to look at him. ‘I promise – no work and no more questions about your past.’
The tightness eased in his chest. She was offering him a “Get Out of Jail Free” card, but something still tugged at his conscience.
‘I don’t know, Josie. It’s probably better if I go. It’s all got a bit serious and that’s definitely not what I was after. You neither, I suspect.’
Her expression hardened. ‘You think I can’t do this without falling for you?’
He just raised an eyebrow at her.
‘I have no problem with only using you for sex,’ she said, a seductive smile lighting up her eyes, causing the hairs to stand up on his arms. ‘I think we should suspend real life from this point until one of us leaves, and do all the things we’ve both been fantasising about for the last couple of days.’
Images of what he’d like to do with her raced through his head and he had to shift in his seat to ease the sudden pressing concern at the front of his trousers.
‘We need to get it out of our systems,’ she went on, leaning in so close he could smell the tang of sea salt in her hair. ‘Purge all that built-up sexual tension and have ourselves a sex banquet.’
Her smile was so provocative he couldn’t help but smirk back.
He was already lost – even before she shifted to straddle his legs, her crotch making contact with his rock-hard erection. The hot kisses she trailed across his cheeks and nose were a light relief compared to the straining pressure in his lap. Putting his hands up to feel the heavy weight of her breasts, he heard her moan and felt her breath feather across the skin of his cheek. The heat lingered for seconds after she’d moved on to kiss the groove between his jaw and his neck.
Taking one of his wrists in each hand, she pushed his arms back, trapping them against the sofa, whilst rocking her hips against him, levering herself up at the top of each movement to catch the sensitive tip of his cock with the hot softness between her legs. Desperation to rip their clothes away and feel her slippery heat with his hands clawed at him, but she wanted the control here and he was totally fine with that – as long as she didn’t stop goddamn moving.
Just as the thought hit him, she moved down his lap, breaking contact where he needed it most, and he almost growled in frustration. Looking up at her, he saw the corner of her mouth twitch in amusement. She knew exactly what she was doing to him. He had a feeling she was paying him back for his anger and faked disinterest earlier.
She released his wrists so she could grasp the hem of his T-shirt and slide it up his body, the cool backs of her fingers leaving searing lines of sensation on the hot skin of his chest. Leaning forward, he allowed her to pull it over his head, feeling the soft leather of the couch stick to his heated bare skin as he leant back.
Slipping her knees between his legs, she pushed them open so she could slide her body to the floor and kneel in front of him, bringing her hot mouth down to the highly sensitised nub of his nipple. The first, semi-painful graze of her teeth made him jump in shock, before sending currents of pleasure through his body.
After the chafing bite, she used her tongue to lick away the pain, before greedily sucking down on his nipple, swirling her tongue around the now erect peak. Her fingers worked the other side, as she alternately sucked and pinched, making him crazy with the dual sensation. This was punishment, all right.
His neglected erection gave a throb as she moved her free hand down the quivering flank of his chest, skirting over the dip of his belly button to find the button of his shorts. She made quick work of popping it open and yanking down his fly, pulling the stiff material away so that all was left was the thin cotton barrier of his boxers. Abandoning his aching nipples, she moved lower, using both hands to pull his trousers and underwear down his legs, then held his gaze as she brought her mouth back down to his exposed cock.
At the first flick of her tongue he nearly lost it, and a groan escaped from deep in his throat.
Any remaining resolve to leave tore out of his head as her mouth covered the tip of him, then slowly slid down, taking him inch by excruciating inch into the furnace of her mouth.
Her cool fingers traced the concavities between the muscles of his thighs, teasing their way higher, until she cupped his crown jewels in one hand and pressed a finger right below them, catching the small knot of nerves there with the pad of her finger and sending his body’s euphoric response into overdrive.
‘Holy hell, Josie,’ he gasped, grasping his hands together behind his head and giving in totally to the pleasure of the moment as she worked her magic.
The torpid air of the snug was chilled compared to the heat that built between his thighs. Shocks of powerful sensation mirrored the still-throbbing ache in his nipples as she moved her mouth up and down his shaft, flicking her tongue over the end of him at the apex of each move, drawing him right out of his own head.
How could he even have considered leaving when such sensational sex with Josie was on offer?
Her movements increased in speed, her other hand grasping the rigid base of him as she worked him over. A deep, primal urge to be inside her had him totally captive. He would have done anything for her right then, just to be allowed to reach his ecstatic peak. Anything.
And then he was there. Riding wave after exquisite wave of pleasure, his body jerking – out of control – before finally plummeting back down to earth again.
It was a few seconds before he felt able to open his eyes and check she was okay.
‘You’re an amazing woman, Josie Marchpane,’ he groaned, still riding the glorious aftershocks of his orgasm.
The beatific smile she gave him when she looked up made his heart turn over. The breath rasped in his throat and his pulse raged in his veins as the blurring alarm of his reaction hit home. It was just a heat of the moment thing, he reassured himself. A crazy, abnormal response to the intensity of his climax.
Reaching down, he put his hands under her armpits and lifted her up, flipping her onto her back on the sofa and climbing over her.
He needed a way to eradicate the disturbing panicky feeling that was rising like a geyser in his chest again.
Unpopping the button of her shorts, he pulled them away, then yanked her knickers down her legs.
‘Your turn,’ he said, before lowering his mouth to her, obliterating everything but the sweetly aromatic smell of her skin and the intoxicating taste of her arousal.
* * *
Afterwards they took a long bath together in the claw-footed tub.
They left the windows open and the late-afternoon sun bounced off the surface of the water, reflecting shards of light against the tiled walls.
Josie swished the water in front of her, sending ripples right down to where her toes poked up through the surface. Even now she was sitting in front of him her feet stopped well short of his.
It was so peaceful she experienced a pang of pre-emptive holiday sickness. At least that was what she thought it was. She’d never had this particular feeling before. Normally she was too intent on getting back to work to feel anything but relief at returning home. But the rush and hustle of the city felt a million miles away from them right at that moment.
He’d been right about her needing distraction. The anxiety she’d been living with for so long was greatly reduced when he was around. This was exactly what she needed.
Space. Time. Calm.
A hot man and plenty of no-strings sex.