Chapter 8
Cole
‘The purpose of the dating scan is to check how many weeks pregnant you are, work out your due date, and whether you’re expecting more than one baby. It also verifies if the baby is growing in the right place and your baby’s development.’
I’ve read those words over a hundred times, but it doesn’t calm the storm brewing in my stomach. My coffee sloshes around and threatens to come back up. I hope everything goes okay today at Lacey’s first scan.
I unlock my phone and the group chat I share with my brothers.
Me
Guys, can I ask a serious question?
Immediately, I see that Archie is the first to type…Here we go.
Arch
Serious like a heart attack or…?
Me
*rolling eyes emoji* Knew I shouldn’t bother. Nevermind.
Arch
Sorry, Cole *shrek looking away meme*
Cas
You ok, man?
Rafe
Yes, you can ask a question. Unless it’s a sex question about Lacey, then no, she’s like my sister *shudder meme*
Ethan
Rafe why do you always bring the tone down? *face palm emoji*
Me
Lacey has her first scan today, and she asked me to go with her, but I’m nervous. What do I do if everything isn’t ok? I have to pick her up in half an hour.
Cas
It’s pretty pointless wondering the what-ifs. She obviously needs you; that’s why she’s asked you to be there. Have you asked her how she feels?
Arch
What he said ^^^
Me
*sighing meme* no I haven’t. I don’t know how to
Rafe
You open your mouth and words come out *crying laughing emoji*
Cas
He does have a point ^ Cole just talk to her and ask
Arch
Yeah Cole, just tell her you’re in love with her already
Me
Neither of you are any help…Nate??
Cas
Nate’s not here…he’s otherwise engaged *sniggering emoji*
Arch
*clutching pearls meme* GOSSIP NOW!!!!
I throw my phone to the side, no longer bothering with the chat. I have enough on my plate without worrying about what Nate has gotten himself into. Instead, I stand up, gather my things, and then set off.
**********
As I’m driving to Lacey’s house to pick her up, I decide to make a pit stop at the general store that we have in town.
They have a machine that’s like a pick ‘n’ mix machine, but for drinks.
Lacey’s favourite is mango and pineapple together.
The machine swirls around as it churns the drink together before dispensing it into the cup.
I must be lost in thought because I could have sworn I just heard my name.
Looking around, it's then that I notice Gabby standing off to one side, already on the arm of someone else. Good riddance.
“Heard your best friend was pregnant. Wonder who the daddy is?” She spits the words at me, and it’s only now that I truly see how venomous she is.
“Not really anyone else's business, Gabby.” I turn back around, dismissing her. I don’t have the time for her amateur dramatics today.
She scoffs. “Of course you would stick up for her. You probably stuck your fucking dick in…” She stops short when I whirl on her and she sees my face, her new boytoy not moving. His eyes are bouncing between us, but I have a good three inches in height on him.
“I don’t give a shit what you think, Gabby.
I don’t fucking cheat, but I have had it with your mouth and the utter crap that comes out of it.
Do not utter another fucking word about Lacey, because Gabby, I will make you regret it.
Do you understand?” I level her with a stare that I usually save for making business deals and getting what I want, but it works. She shrinks back and stumbles off.
I collect Lacey’s drink and a bag of her favourite pretzels before leaving the store.
When I get back to my truck, I sit for just a moment.
I don’t know where that came from, but for some reason, my best friend has me going out of my mind, because something inside of me cannot stand to hear the shit people are saying about her.
**********
Lacey waits outside for me, bouncing on the balls of her feet. She never could sit still, not even when we were kids. She used to tell me that her teacher would always reprimand her for moving too much, or the other kids would make fun of how much she would fidget.
I hop out of the truck and open the door for her, and her eyes light up when she sees the drink and bag of pretzels.
“Oh my god, are those for me?” She doesn’t even finish what she’s saying before she grabs the bag and tears it open.
“Now what would you have done if I had said no?” I raise my eyebrow.
“Pfft, as if you would.” So cocky.
I get back in the truck, and we make the drive over to the hospital. As I look over at her, I see her knee bouncing constantly. I reach out and put my hand on it.
“Hey, don’t worry. It’s going to be okay. This scan is to check the baby’s development and how far along you are. Think positive and make sure you drink up because they said you need a full bladder.”
She wrinkles her nose at me. “Cole, if I drink any more, I absolutely will not have a full bladder because said full bladder will be all over your seats.” She smiles sweetly at me, and I bark out a laugh.
“Toilet habits. Nice. Just the conversation starter I wanted.”
“Shut up, you love it.” She sticks her tongue out at me, and my eyes zero in on it.
What I wouldn’t give for that tongue to be somewhere else right now, circling…
FUCK. I shift in my seat to try to adjust myself.
I don't need to think about my best friend that way.
I do not need to think about my best friend's tongue. Nope. Not going there.
Just drive, Cole. Drive the fucking truck.
**********
Luckily, it doesn’t take us long to get to the hospital and check in. I look around the room at all the expectant mums. Their faces show a mixture of happiness and nerves.
Lacey’s leg has started bouncing again. She doesn’t say anything, and I don’t push her either. When she’s in her head like this, it’s best to let it play out, and when she’s ready, she will talk to me.
Instead, I look around the room; it’s inviting and relaxing.
The ceiling is a baby blue, and someone has painted clouds on it.
The walls are a mural of fields and wildflowers.
I imagine myself painting a nursery just like this for the baby.
I’d ask Nate to use his carving skills and make a crib, Archie could be in charge of the books for the baby, Rafe could get the baby its first play car, and Ethan could teach the baby how to use computers.
CJ, he would dote on the baby and probably end up getting them a pet…
I’m shaken out of my daydream when I hear the nurse call Lacey’s name. She gets up but stops short, turning around, and she grabs my hand.
“Please come with me?”
I look into those beautiful doe eyes, and I can’t do anything else but nod and stand up. I know I made the right decision, no matter how much it hurts me that I’ll never experience this for myself as a dad, because the smile on her face is everything.
We enter the room, and the sonographer instructs Lacey on where to lie down and what she needs to do. I stand awkwardly in the corner, not knowing where I should be, before the lady turns to me.
“Take a seat next to her, I don’t bite.” Her laugh is both throaty and hearty, and it brings a smile to my face. “I’m Lu.”
I settle down into the seat, and Lacey’s hand finds mine. We link fingers, and I give her hand a gentle squeeze. Her pulse is racing a hundred miles a minute, and mine isn’t far behind, but that all dissolves away when a sudden whooshing sound fills the room.
Lu’s smile is wide. “Wow, it doesn’t matter how many times I do this, that sound and sight will always give me goosebumps. What a beautiful, healthy baby you both have.”
I should correct her; I should tell her that it isn’t possible for me…but something stops me. If Lacey notices, she doesn’t let on. The only thing she does is cover her mouth with her hand, as if she can’t believe that sound is her baby’s heartbeat.
Lu carries on, unaware of the turmoil my mind is in. She tells Lacey she is thirteen weeks and two days pregnant and discusses the size and structure, then informs her that she’s going to take some measurements now.
Once she’s done, she turns the screen for us to look at. “This here is the baby’s face, a cute little button nose there, down here are the legs. It’s too early to tell the sex of the baby yet, but there you are.”
I stare in awe at the baby and the sound of the heartbeat. I can feel a lump in my throat, and out of the corner of my eye, I catch Lacey staring at me.
Turning my face towards her, I have the widest smile, and so does she. “You’re a mum, Lace.” The words leave my lips on a whisper, and I gently tuck a stray hair behind her ear. It feels intimate but right.
Lu clears her throat. “We’re done now. Would you like pictures?”
Lacey nods.
“Oh my god, I have to pee so badly.” She starts to clean off the gel from her stomach, and Lu points to a door just behind her; Lacey darts off.
The lady who prints the photos has just finished putting them all in little white sleeves with a picture of a stork and a baby in a blanket on the front. She hands Lacey a stack of them, and I chuckle.
“Do you think you have enough there, Lace?”
She tuts at me and rolls her eyes. “I got one for everyone. Including you, but yours is special because it’s the same one I have.
” She hands me the picture, and I turn it around.
The baby is sucking their thumb, and one foot is kicked up in the air.
I run my thumb over the image, amazed that this little human is growing inside of my best friend.
“Wow, Lace, thank you. Are you sure?” I feel my voice start to clog with emotion.
“Of course I’m sure. Little Peanut needs to know who their Uncle Cole is, right?”
I don’t know why that hurts so much, but a crack rips through my heart. Uncle. That’s who I am, that’s who I will always be, and I need to remember that. “Yeah, right.” I smile at her as hollow as I feel. Some things just aren’t meant to be.