Chapter 15
Lacey
I am officially on cloud nine.
It’s been a few days since Cole and I finally gave in to one another, and now we’re…
actually, what are we? Is he my boyfriend now?
I never actually asked if that is what is happening.
I feel like we’re in a weird in-between relationship, one that's both best friends and lovers. I snort at my ridiculousness. Lovers!
This week is my growth scan, and part of me is excited to see Peanut again, but the other part of me is scared that something will go wrong.
Cole has been wonderful, as usual, telling me all about what should happen this week and what to look out for.
My favourite thing was learning that Peanut would be kicking about this week.
I smile at the thought of her being in there, moving around.
I feel the bubbles once more, and I laugh.
“You going to be an acrobat when you’re older, Peanut?”
I’ve finished getting ready, and I’m just waiting for Hayleigh and Emmy to come collect me.
Today is my first session at Petals Yoga Studio.
Emmy was thrilled when I told her that I had booked a place for her.
Hayleigh, on the other hand, was not so excited.
She told me I owe her a lifetime supply of shitty box wine for making her do this.
My phone rings and I see it’s Hayleigh. “We’re outside, hot mama, hurry your backside up!” She ends the call as she’s cackling like the mad woman she is.
When I get to the car, I open the back door and see a large package in the back. It’s wrapped in yellow and has a note attached to it. I move it to one side.
“Hey, you two, who is the package for?”
Hayleigh sighs. “If only I had a man who loved me enough to bring me gifts…Who do you think it’s for?”
“Cole asked me to bring it with me this morning; he and Cas have gone to the worksite today.” Emmy turns in her seat and smiles at me. “Go on, open it up.”
I pick up the package; it’s rectangular and surprisingly light. I flip the note open, and Cole's handwriting greets me.
At twenty weeks pregnant, you’re not supposed to lie flat. I got this for you so that you can rest your bump whilst lying on your side. Cole xxx
I rip open the bright yellow wrapping paper to find a vacuum-packed, banana-shaped body pillow that specialises in comfort for the baby bump when lying down.
Hayleigh looks in her rearview mirror, “Is it a twelve-inch dildo? I’ll be disappointed if not!”
I burst out laughing and choke back a sob. “No…it’s…ugh, Jesus, Lacey, get a grip! It’s a pillow for my bump, to keep it comfortable when lying down. He says in the note that at twenty weeks, I’m not supposed to be lying flat, and it’s banana-shaped because that’s the size of the baby this week…”
“Fuck me sideways, Lacey! Will you climb that man like a tree already?” She laughs at her joke, and my cheeks blaze red hot. Fuck.
Please don’t look back in your mirror, please don’t….Too late.
“OH MY FUCKING GOD!”
“Jesus, Hayleigh! You scared the shit out of me. What are you screaming about?” Emmy presses a hand against her chest, an incredulous look on her face.
Hayleigh safely parks the car and turns round in her seat to stare right at me while Emmy looks on in confusion. “You tell us right now, you dirty little secret keeper. Have you and Cole had sex?”
Emmy gasps. “Hayleigh! Of course they haven’t…have you?”
My face is on fire. Cheeks, blazing. I start to fan myself.
“Is it hot in here? I feel hot.” I fan my face faster, but nothing is getting these red cheeks to go away.
“I’m waiting, Lacey…” Hayleigh’s face is like the cat that got the cream; she knows I know she knows.
Fuck it.
“Okay, technically, we didn’t have sex…”
They both stare at me, comically looking the same with their hands clasped beneath their chins like weird little cherub twins.
“He said some things that I will not– Don’t look at me like that, it isn’t my story to tell.
I will not repeat all of them, however…he did tell me he’s loved me forever and he’s our guy.
” I rub small circles over my bump and smile; I might as well give them what they want.
“He also played me like a fiddle down there and made me come so hard I saw stars.”
Hayleigh screams out loud, and Emmy whoops.
“I fucking knew it! That glow wasn’t just Peanut-related! Does this mean you’re an item now? Do the boys know? Hey, did you know?” Hayleigh’s barrage of questions assaults us, but Emmy shakes her head, laughing.
“Of course, I didn’t know.”
“I asked Cole to keep it between us for now, but if the boys are anything like you two, and believe me, they are, then I can guarantee before the week's out, they’re gonna find out.”
“Why do you want to keep it a secret?” There is no judgment in Emmy’s words, just curiosity.
“Not secret as such, I just want it to be us for a while. I’m…a bit scared he might realise this is too much.”
Hayleigh reaches over and grasps my hand while Emmy holds the other one. Hayleigh’s voice is soft. “Lacey, that isn’t going to happen. Cole isn’t the guy to ditch and run… Ted, 100% yes, but Cole? Never. You also have us; we love you both so much, and Peanut is going to be spoiled rotten!”
I smile back, grateful that we have this family and our friends behind us. Part of me wishes that my dad were here to support us as well.
**********
We arrive and park outside Petals Yoga Studio.
The image of a lotus flower on the sign looks peaceful and calming.
I’ve never tried yoga before, but it’s something my midwife swears by.
She said the exercises are very low in terms of effort, but the positive mental and physical well-being will do wonders; we shall see.
Hayleigh looks up and blows a breath out. “I swear to everything holy, if this turns out to be some middle-aged, long-haired, shaggy-bearded, self-proclaiming expert of a man, I am walking right back out.”
I stifle a laugh at her rant and then internally groan when the sunniest voice rings out.
“Well, I might not have a shaggy beard, but I am a self-proclaiming guru of all things yoga…and I have long hair. I’m Daisy, your yoga instructor.
” She holds out her hand, and I give it a shake, before she turns to Hayleigh.
“Yoga isn’t for everyone, but I have a feeling with an aura like yours that you will learn to love it.
” Then she turns around and beckons us to follow her.
“Well, that told you. Serves you right for opening that big mouth of yours, Hayleigh,” Emmy scolds her as she walks past, and Hayleigh has the good sense to dip her head.
When we get inside, she walks right up to the instructor. “I am so sorry, Daisy. I was a raging bitch back there, and I promise you I am not usually like that.” My heart breaks a little at how sad Hayleigh sounds; she hasn’t been right since everything that happened with Pete and Emmy.
“Apology accepted. Don’t worry, I can tell the kind of person you really are. Your aura, remember?”
“What does that mean?” Hayleigh’s words aren’t harsh but soft and quizzical.
“I teach classes on it once a week. Before you leave, you should go check out my notice board and see if it’s something you would like, but I’d love to have you there.
” She smiles at Hayleigh, then points to the three mats out in front of her.
“These are your mats. Lacey, please sit in the middle. Emmy and Hayleigh, pick one on either side.”
“Is it just us?” I ask, wondering if anyone else is going to be joining, just so I’m prepared and don’t fall on my backside when someone else walks in.
“Yes, just you three. Don’t worry, because it’s your first time, I don’t want to throw you in with a big crowd.” In this moment, I decide that Daisy would be our newfound friend.
We spent the next hour going through some safe pregnancy yoga moves, with Daisy promising that she will be there on our next girls' night out. We exchange numbers and leave the yoga studio relaxed and happy.
**********
Scan Day
“So, you’re sure I’m doing the right thing asking him?” I worry my bottom lip as nerves fire all around my body.
“I think you can only try and ask him. Ultimately, it’s down to him to decide if he wants to be there or not, but I’ll be with you every step of the way.” Cole’s words are like a balm to my soul as I open my messaging app.
Me
Hey, it’s Lacey. I just wanted to reach out and remind you that I have my 20-week growth scan today at 1 pm. It would be great if you could make it, if you’re serious about being in the baby’s life but again no pressure. Just let me know so I know where I stand?
I sit and re-read the message before turning it to Cole. “This doesn’t sound bitchy, does it?”
He laughs as he pushes my hair away from my face.
“No, it’s a perfectly fair message. You just have to prepare yourself if he doesn’t turn up.
But if he doesn’t, Lacey, that isn’t on you, okay?
” He searches my face for a moment before kissing me softly on my lips. When he pulls away, he looks hesitant.
“Cole, what is it? You can talk to me.”
“I’ve been thinking…about us.”
Dread creeps into my stomach and, like the poison it is, seeps through my body. I don’t move and I don’t say a word.
“I want you to know that I have wanted to be with you since the day you kicked that kid for me, and it isn’t because you’re pregnant that I’m with you. I’m not saying I’m perfect or that I won’t screw up, but I am saying that I will come to you if I need you and I’ll never leave you…or Peanut.”
I don’t realise I’m holding my breath till it spills out in a sob. Cole panics and gathers me up in his arms. Through sniffles, I hit his chest. “You s-st-stupid idiot! I th-thought you were br-breaking up with m-me.”
“What is it with us Peterson men that our women think we’re breaking up with them?” He laughs to himself. “Far from it, Lacey. You have been stuck with me since you stood up for me that day. Shall we go and see how big Peanut has gotten?”
I nod my agreement and wipe my eyes. How did I get so lucky?
**********
No matter how many times I check the door, Ted doesn’t walk through it.
Part of me is thankful; all he talked about on our non-date was getting together for some fun.
He isn’t interested in Peanut, and he never will be.
The other part, the one who grew up with an absent father, hoped that for Peanuts' sake, she’d have her dad.
But if the Petersons have shown me anything, it is that DNA doesn’t make a family, and my little Peanut has a whole bunch of family ready to rally around her.
The receptionist shouts my name. The same sonographer, Lu, who we had during our first scan, greets us. She smiles widely as we reach her. “Ready to see your baby?” I look at Cole. Love shines in his eyes, his smile wide and bright.
“We’re ready.” I smile back at her. Just before we go through, the doors to the waiting room bang open. I am not ready for who just walks through those doors. I meet Cole’s horrified eyes, and I can see my shock reflected.
I guess this is a family event after all.