Chapter 30
Lacey
“Lacey? Sweetie? Are you ready?” May’s head pops through the bedroom door as she tentatively walks in.
“I’m not going, May.” My words are clipped, and I want to slap myself with how much of a bitch I’m being lately, but these past two weeks…No. Don’t go there.
“Honey, I know you’re in a vulnerable place right now. It isn’t easy on you…but…well, to be honest, it isn’t easy on any of us right now…” She breaks down, and my heart breaks all over again.
I rush up and get to her as quickly as my waddle lets me. “May, I’m sorry.” I bundle her into my arms.
“Cole would want you to go.” Hearing those words cracks my heart even further.
She leaves me to get ready, so I grab my suitcase and throw on the black sweater dress that I bought last year, but it was too big. Now it fits perfectly, the colour a perfect match for how I feel inside and the place I’m about to visit.
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I always loved this time of year. The leaves turn that beautiful russet colour, and the floor is a mirror image of all those that have fallen already.
Cole and I would go to the park as kids and kick the fallen leaves on dry days; his mum would always shout about hidden dog poop.
I feel Peanut wiggling inside me, her movements slowing over the last two weeks.
She can sense when he isn’t around – her daddy.
My dad is waiting for me at the edge of the cemetery, a sad smile on his face, one I struggle to return. I don’t like this place, never have.
“Hey, kiddo, are you ready? I’ll be here with you.”
I look up at him, thankful that he’s here for me.
We walk gingerly to the grave, making sure not to disrespect anyone else’s. When I see the headstone, I crumble.