35. Chapter Thirty-Five | Theo
Chapter thirty-five
I lift my glass and tap my strawberry milkshake against Gigi’s glass in cheers. “Good call on the milkshakes, Princess.”
“I feel like milkshakes are always a good idea, Daddy.” Gigi grins before taking a big drink from her straw. “Even if you make us split one.”
“You’ll thank me when you are able to fall asleep tonight.
” She rolls her eyes at me, but she knows I’m right.
If Gigi has too much sugar after midafternoon, it keeps her awake at bedtime.
Then she gets frustrated and ends up crying about how can something that tastes so good hate her so much to keep her from sleeping, until she eventually passes out in exhaustion.
Plus, tonight is still a school night for her, so she needs to be able to go to sleep at a reasonable time.
I let her pick where we went to dinner tonight, and while there aren’t that many options in Forrest Falls, I knew she would pick the diner. She insists they have the best coloring pages for kids and loves their chicken strips.
“Did Grandma Millie call you about Christmas yet? I FaceTimed with her before school and she said I can decide where we have it this year!” Gigi’s face lights up. She’s the only grandchild so far, and my parents really need another grandchild to focus some of their love and attention on.
“And where should we have Christmas this year, Princess?”
“Well, originally, I thought it would be neat to have it in London with Uncle Van, but I think it would be more fun if they came here. Plus, Grandma Millie and Grandpa Henry haven’t met Savannah and her girls yet, so we could have a really big celebration with everyone!”
“I think that sounds like a great idea, Gigi. I’ll call Grandma tomorrow and figure out the details.
” I shift in the vinyl red booth as I reach for the blue crayon before it rolls off the table.
“Speaking of Savannah and her girls, I wanted to check in with you about something, baby girl,” I tell her as I slide the crayon back to her.
“What’s up, Daddy?” Gigi keeps coloring but I know she’s listening.
“I wanted to touch base and see how you feel about things since I’ve been spending more time with Savannah.”
“You mean since she became your girlfriend and you guys kiss now?” Gigi wiggles her eyebrows.
I can’t help but laugh at her response. “You watch too many princess movies, but yes, since that all happened.”
She tilts her head and scrunches her eyebrows. “What do you mean about how I feel? Like about what?”
“Well, it’s always just been you and me, you know?
And it’s important that you know that you still come first, always.
” She looks up at me, actively listening to me as though she can sense this is important.
“I personally think things have been going pretty great, but I wanted to talk to you about how you felt about me and Savannah, and spending time with her and her girls.”
Gigi nods for a few seconds as she thinks about it. “Well, I think Savannah and her girls are all super nice, and we have fun together.”
“They are nice, aren’t they? I know it’s different having them around and this is kind of uncharted territory for us.
” And other than my sister and our house manager, Gigi has never had a motherly presence in her life, but I don’t want to come out and directly ask her about that. “Do you like Savannah?”
“Yeah, she’s super nice. I like that she’s a good cook too, and when we had dinner over there the other week, it didn’t feel like we were guests.
Like if I burped or something, it would have been fine.
” I laugh at her comment, because while manners matter, there’s definitely a level of comfort from my daughter burping in front of someone.
“That’s true, it is nice being all together. I love how well you, Olivia, Emily, and Lucy all get along too. It’s nice having other people around, especially kids your age, isn’t it?”
“Yeah, they’re fun to play with. And also…” Gigi hums before pausing and looking away.
I reach across the table and squeeze her hand. “What is it, Princess? You can tell me; there’s no judgement here. This is why we are talking about this, I need to know how you feel about everything as my number one girl. There are no wrong feelings.”
“It’s not bad, Daddy. But you know how like you, Aunt Pippa, and Uncle Van had Grandma Millie growing up, but I don’t really have someone like that, like a mother?
” My gut clenches. I don’t know where she’s going with this, but I school my features to stay calm and nod, hoping she has more to say.
“And please don’t like tell Aunt Pippa that, because she’s really great, but she’s my aunt and not my mama, you know?
” She picks up her crayon and starts coloring while she talks.
“I know I grew in Blake’s tummy, but she left.
She’s not my mama, not really. So, I’ve sometimes wondered if hugs would be different.
” She shrugs like I’m supposed to know what that means.
But I don’t have any idea what she means by that statement. “What do you mean if hugs would be different?”
She stops coloring and looks up at me. “You give the best hugs, Daddy, but you’re a daddy—and the best daddy ever—but I’ve wondered if it’s different when a mama hugs you, because I didn’t really know what that felt like.
” I try to swallow but my mouth has gone dry.
I hate talking about Blake leaving but I also want Gigi to know she can always come to me about anything, especially about the person that gave birth to her.
“And with Savannah…” I lead, hoping that’s where she was going with this.
A smile spreads across as her beautiful face lights up. “I like her. When she hugs me, I don’t have to wonder. Her hugs are different, and it’s really nice. I like her hugs and I like how I feel when she hugs me.”
“And how do her hugs make you feel, Princess?”
Her voice is softer, making me lean in to hear her clearly.
“They make me feel like she’s glad I’m there and like she wants to be there hugging me.
When she hugs me, it makes me feel like she’s not going to leave me.
” Her shoulders give the smallest shrug and while she was speaking quietly, her confession is blaring.
Fuck.
Her words reach in and grab my beating heart right out of my chest. If I wasn’t already in love with Savannah, hearing how she makes my daughter feel would knock my ass into the endzone. I have to clear my throat before I can speak, a myriad of emotions swirling at once.
“That’s great, Gigi.” She looks up, slightly surprised as though I was going to be upset about her wondering about a mother’s hugs when it’s just been the two of us, or somehow her words would disappoint me like I let her down as her father.
“I love you, Princess, and you are worthy of all the love, all the good things, and all the great hugs in the world, okay?”
“I know you do. I love you too, Daddy. And if it’s okay with you, well I was just wondering, if it’s possible…” She chews on her lip as she trails off.
“What, baby? You know whatever it is, if I can make it happen, I will.”
She nods once before lifting her gaze back to me. “I’d like it if we could keep them,” she proclaims.
“Them?”
“Savannah, Olivia, Emily, and Lucy. Can we keep them?” Her innocent question squeezes my heart that’s already been ripped right out of my chest during this conversation.
Unaware she is wrecking my heart in the best way, I feel the grin spread across my face. “Well, Gigi, if it’s okay with you, I’m planning on it. ”
“Oh, good! That’s a great idea, Daddy.” She picks up the blue crayon and hands it to me. “Now, can we play tic-tac-toe? I’m x’s this time.”
“You got it, Princess.”
Somehow, I was fortunate to be the luckiest bastard around. I don’t know what I did to end up so lucky to have such a great daughter, and now that we’ve both decided to keep Savannah and her girls too, I sure as hell will do whatever I can to hang on to them for as long as possible.