Chapter 7 #2
"I'm okay with anything," I said, but even as I said the words, I realized I wanted to express the power of my choice. "But I would like it if you referred to me as a woman and used the terms she and her at least for a little bit. I want to see how it feels. I reserve the right to change my mind."
Durom had stood again and walked over to one of the blank rock walls, and he looked back over at me, and a thread of nervousness rose up in me.
I hadn't asked anyone to change how they spoke about me in a long time, and Durom was a monster.
It was such a trivial thing, yet it mattered to me.
What if it upset him or made him angry, like it had my parents?
"My mate deserves what will make her happy," he said.
That small tension of fear of his reaction relaxed, melting away in the face of his acceptance.
Yet, at the same time, he was still making an assumption.
If this were the school, and he was one of the Barons, I would have kept my mouth shut and just gone along with it.
But I already felt safer with this minotaur than I had with any of the Barons, and in that safety, I felt comfortable enough to push back.
"I haven't agreed to be your mate yet," I said.
"Yet," he said with a smile. Then he knocked once on the wall with his knuckles.
"I greet the rocks who carry the blessing of Chaos," he said. "Inform the Dungeon, I have a non-urgent request."
He tilted his head, just a little bit, as if he were listening to something.
I opened my mouth to ask if he was really talking to rocks, but closed it before the question escaped.
I'd just confessed to him the very thing that would have gotten me killed at the school, and all he had to say was to ask how I wanted to be addressed and insist I should be able to dress the way I wanted.
I didn't need to question if he thought he could talk to rocks.
There were a few more moments of silence, as if Durom was waiting for something.
Then I felt it.
The hairs on the back of my neck stood up, and my breath caught in my throat.
My heart started to pound, and I looked around, trying to see the tiger hiding in the brush, the predator that had snuck up behind me that was preparing to pounce.
There was something terrifying, something dangerous, and it was looking at me.
Even the vines on the far wall were twitching, as if they sensed something close by.
And I didn't know what or where it was.
"Gratitude for the attention," Durom said to the wall.
"This mundane has my mate scent. She has been trapped with a lack of choice in what she could wear.
I know this is a trivial matter to one so great as you, but it is important to me, and I will do what is necessary to balance this request. Please provide my mate with outfits to choose from. "
"Who are you talking to?" I hissed, looking all around for the presence that made my skin crawl.
"What is it in those rules they teach you?" Durom asked, tilting his head to the side. "Rule one! That is it."
Rule one, the Dungeon provides because it wants you to die.
It will provide loot, food, and water, all to lure a group deeper and deeper to where the more dangerous monsters lived, where the traps were new and unknown.
I had gotten too relaxed with Durom, with how easy he was in here.
I'd forgotten the Dungeon wanted to eat me.
Except... that was just what they tried to teach me.
I learned a lot at the Order Academy. I learned to round my shoulders and hold my tongue. Honesty was held in the back of my throat, where it could choke me if I let it slip free, so I folded parts of myself small and kept them hidden behind the costume that had once upon a time felt like freedom.
I learned not to trust men who mistook control for virtue.
I watched polished boots break ribs in and out of the training ground, and I kept space between their laughter and my light. I had learned to look for my exits, to blend into the background, to stay quiet.
I learned that education was power, and it would not be given by those who needed ignorance to oppress. Knowledge had to be sought, had to be taken, and every step I took in expanding my mind was another step towards freeing myself.
They taught the Proper Order of things.
I learned that evil thrived within strict labels and suffocating roles.
There was a rumble in the ground, like a train was thundering along a track nearby.
The rock in front of Durom shifted, straight lines cracking in the unblemished stone until there was a doorway that was sliding to the side, opening.
A messy pile of clothing tumbled out around Durom's hooves, like an overstuffed closet had been opened only to flood the unlucky person with a cascade of fabric.
There were so many variations of clothing.
There were trousers and shirts of different styles, a few skirts and dresses as well.
The clothing was a solid mix that didn't limit itself to any form of expression, color, or style.
There were so many options.
"Grati-" Durom started to say, but something flew out of the dark closet, smacking him in the forehead with a loud thwack. He caught it before it fell to the floor, and it unravelled in his hand, dropping down in a long rectangular strip of previously folded up squares of foil material.
"What is this?" Durom said, the foil catching the light as he turned to show it to me. "Why did the Dungeon give me this?"
I let out a startled laugh as I recognized what he held in his hand.
"They're a mundane tool for preventing conception and the transfer of some diseases," I said. "If there is a penis involved in the intimate relationship, this gets put on it before it gets stuck anywhere."
"Diseases?" Durom said, scratching the base of his horns. "Why not use a disease healing spell?"
"We don't have magic in the mundane," I reminded him. "It's a magical desert there."
Durom held up the long strip of individually wrapped rubbers.
"Would you prefer to use these than the Order spell for preventing pregnancy?
The Orcs also have a tincture that works for a month at a time, which would be a better choice.
If you decide to run to trigger my rut, I will have difficulty using such a tool as this.
It isn't fair to put the responsibility on you, but the reality is that I will not be this functional. "
"There is a spell for that?" I asked, feeling suddenly angry. There hadn't been even the whiff of a mention of such a spell in any of the classes or school books. I already knew why, and that knowledge was tinder on the flames of my fury. "Those bastards!"
A book flew out of the closet, slamming into the ground with a flutter of paper as it slid across the floor to stop near my feet.
I picked it up, flipping through the pages.
It was a comprehensive Order spellbook, much more direct and streamlined than the schoolbooks I had been given for my classes.
Instead of pages that blathered on about the importance of Order, this one just had spells, their specific purpose, and how to cast them.
Delight mixed with my anger.
This is what I had come to this realm for!
Only to be handed it by the sentient Dungeon I’d been taught to fear instead of the school that promised me a future filled with magic.
"Thank you," I said, looking up at the closet, feeling an overwhelming sense of gratitude.
The one place that was supposed to be evil was the place that was providing everything I needed to not only be safe, but also be happy.
Learning magic was everything I always wanted, and the small dribbles that the school had fed me couldn't quench my unrelenting thirst for knowledge.
The Dungeon didn't respond.
I went over to the clothing and began to sort through it, looking for things I might want to wear.
Durom went back to the fire. I began selecting clothing, settling on two sets of sturdy trousers and voluminous shirts that would cover my body, as well as multiple undergarments and undershirts that I could change out more frequently while travelling.
It was how I felt comfortable, and even though there was a shift in what I wanted to explore, I wasn't quite ready to step out of the box that had hidden me for so long.
"Take as many as you want," Durom said. "I will carry what you cannot."
I added a few more outfits to my collection.
When I was done, I took the rest of the clothes and put them back in the closet.
It closed up, vanishing back into the rock with a soft rumble of sound.
I took my new clothes to the washroom. There was a hot shower with soap, as well as a bowl filled with sticks that I recognized as chewing sticks.
They were from a type of tree that, when you chewed on the stick, exposed the fibrous bristles that could be used to clean the teeth.
After I was cleaned up and changed, exhaustion found me and carried me to the soft bed that Durom had made up.
I didn't question when he stretched out on the floor to sleep.
Part of me wanted to invite him to sleep in the bed with me.
The thought of being able to wrap myself up in his strong arms appealed to me, but that part of me didn't win.
But it was a thought to explore for another day.