Chapter Forty-Four
I hung up with Ben and walked dazedly toward the elevator to the lobby, then down the escalator of the MetLife Building to Grand Central Terminal. For the first time since I started working at Abramson & Klein, I took a second to look up at the constellations magnificently etched in the ceiling.
I walked slowly down to Joe’s. I paid for my coffee and ambled back through Grand Central. I climbed halfway up the stairs to the East Balcony and sat down on the side rail.
I stared down at the incoming FaceTime in my call history. Six minutes and twenty-two seconds.
I didn’t feel like Sam the divorcée or Sam the aspiring lawyer. I was just me.
I stood up and put in my right earbud as I called Leo’s office from my cell phone.
“Hi, Adele. It’s Samantha DeFiore. Is Leo available?”
“Let me see if I have him.”
I jogged down the stairs back to the concourse and spiritedly tossed the empty cup of coffee into a bin.
“Sam. How the hell are you?”
I raised my voice over the hubbub of Grand Central. “Never better. How’ve you been?”
I thought I heard the sound of kids playing in the background. “Uh, you know. Just okay, actually. One of our twins was diagnosed with a pretty severe learning disability, so I’ve been working from home quite a bit.”
I paused. “I’m sorry to hear that.”
He said he and Jessica were working on their marriage. He asked how life was, post-investigation. I admitted to only billing two weeks of work in February.
“I’m calling because I want to bring in a new client, and I’d like you to be the partner on the matter.” I gave him the rundown. Who he was, why he wanted us to represent him.
He chuckled. “Sounds like the firm is going to have to let your low February billables slide now that you’re a rainmaker.”
“And I billed almost four hundred hours since December. Is that a yes?”
“It sounds like the kind of thing we should be involved in. I’m not shy when it comes to taking down studios. And I’m vaguely familiar with Frank’s work. It seems like he’s got a great career ahead of him. Is he based in New York or LA?”
“New York.”
“Great. You can handle client relations then.”
“There’s just one more thing.” I paused, taking a deep breath. “After Montana, I was scared that you would never staff me on another case. I felt like I had done something wrong.”
I could hear him start to say something, so I spoke louder.
“Please, let me finish. I don’t want to revisit what happened, and I’m sure you don’t either.
I still want to work together, because there’s a lot I can learn from you, and I have a lot of respect for you as a lawyer.
But I need to know that you have respect for me as a colleague. ”
“Sam. I overstepped. Big time.” His voice sounded small. “I was going through a lot of personal turmoil. You know that. But it’s not an excuse for putting you in that position.”
I physically bit my tongue, not allowing myself to say anything that would give him an out. I knew he was intelligent enough to read between the lines.
“It won’t happen again.”
“Thank you,” I said graciously. “Then I’ll run a conflicts check today and prep the engagement letter.”
I slept in on Saturday and woke up just in time to meet Caroline after her morning spin class. As I walked to the farmers market, I remembered a podcast episode that Eddie asked me to listen to as background for a potential new client. I reached into my bag and dug around for my earbuds.
“Excuse me,” I heard as someone impatiently passed by me.
“Sorry,” I muttered, absentmindedly leaning my shoulder against the window of Cafe Cluny. I swore I’d thrown earbuds in my bag earlier that week.
That’s when I saw him.
I stood there without moving, like the window was a one-way mirror, as if I was just as invisible as he was suddenly physically there, in my universe, back in the city. Having brunch down the street.
He was sitting with a woman. Her back was to the window, and all I could see was long brown hair and a red turtleneck sweater.
He was back in New York. He didn’t need to let me know, because I wasn’t in his life. Not in the way that he’d tell me when he was back in town. Not in any way.
I felt like someone had punched me.
I probably would have stood there forever, staring at his face, watching him sip coffee from a cappuccino cup with small red letters, spreading butter and too much jam on a croissant—if he hadn’t seen me. I could see his lips moving as the woman turned around and looked straight at me.
I realized it was Perry.
I don’t know what I expected either of them to do, but she suddenly began waving excitedly in my direction. I dropped the earbuds on the sidewalk and bent down to pick them up. When I stood up again, I could tell she was waving me into the restaurant.
I stiffened as I tried to figure out what to do. Maybe she’ll soften the blow of seeing each other for the first time. I didn’t have any idea if Perry even knew what had happened between us.
The doorknob jingled as I slowly opened the door.
“I’m just saying hello to some friends,” I said to the hostess as I walked toward them.
Perry jumped up, wrapping me in a hug before she was fully upright. “Sam! I can’t believe it. I convinced Charlie to meet me in the West Village, and he joked that we might run into you. And here you are!”
“It’s a small neighborhood,” I said nervously. “Hey, Charlie.”
“Hey, Sam,” he said coolly. His face gave nothing away.
Perry took a sip of coffee. “We’re celebrating his new job at the Urban Justice Center. Every time I say the name, I feel like a better person.”
I tried to look like my heart wasn’t pounding. “You’re finally doing it,” I said.
He nodded. “I couldn’t just keep putting in time. Life’s too short.”
Perry looked at her watch and jumped up. “I was just saying how guilty I feel, because I’m supposed to meet the girls at Five Iron—you remember the golf girls, Sam—and Charlie can’t come because it’s ladies only. I’m already super late.”
She looked at him triumphantly. He shrugged and gave her a big brother smile.
“I’ll get this. Have fun. Maybe I’ll meet up with you guys later tonight.”
“You better.”
She grinned as she put on her coat, then looked directly at me. “We’ll be at Scallywag’s.”
He carefully folded his napkin as I floated hesitantly next to the table for what felt like minutes, unsure if I should stay or go.
He looked up at me. His eyes held mine as I watched them change colors. I held my breath for as long as I could stand it.
“I was gonna have one more cup of coffee. Do you want to sit down?” he finally asked.
“Yes.”
I let myself breathe out as I melted into the chair.