Chapter 1 #2
“You don’t know everyone on my list,” I counter.
“Anyone ever tell you it’s not healthy to hold grudges?”
“Says the man who killed his father.”
Mercer laughs softly. “What grudge? You can’t hold a grudge against a dead man.”
“I wouldn’t know. I haven’t murdered anyone on my list.” I tap the rim of my coffee cup.
Yet.
Not that I intend to, but it’s pleasing to think about.
In the clear light of day, I’m able to push my demons away.
At three a.m. when I wake in the dark from dreams of blood and screaming, it’s a different matter.
Dreams, not nightmares. I feel no fear. I crave to get my hands bloodied.
The city of Blackport is a dangerous place with a high homicide rate, and every mutilated corpse reported in the news makes me jealous of its killer.
“Getting through that list of yours would be a full-time job,” Mercer tells me .
“Maybe I’ll retire early and take up a new hobby.”
Mercer grins. “You’ve got the right look for a successful serial killer. It’s always the ones you least expect. Cullan Grant, a killer? But he’s a family man. Always keeps to himself. Yada yada.”
I feel a surge of frustration, like I’m not living up to my potential. That I’m wasting the strongest, cleverest years of my life on not killing people.
How did it feel when you killed your father? I want to ask him. Did his bones crack satisfyingly in your hands, or did you stab him with a knife until you were soaked with blood and there was nothing left in his veins?
Mercer would have no problem telling me, but the fact that I dearly want to hear all about it is not something I want anyone to know. “How much does the job pay?”
“It’s just the kind of money you’ll need for alimony payments and that fancy-ass divorce lawyer.”
“You’re fucking irritating today. Do you want to go on my list?”
But Mercer’s not wrong. I could do with a healthy injection of cash right now.
Installing home security systems is a good living, and installing them for dangerous men is even better.
But a specialist job like this pays in fat, untraceable wads of cash.
I have a baby daughter to think of. She’ll need a college fund sooner rather than later, and I’m going to make sure she has the best of everything.
Leon was the first good thing in my life, and nineteen years later, Rosie is the second.
Everything in between has been pretty shit, including my marriage to Rebecca.
My ex never did anything big and hurtful like screwing my friends, but a lot of little things added up to a nasty divorce.
Giving me the cold shoulder. Nitpicking.
Ignoring me. Minimizing my hurt and concerns.
I tried to make it work between us. Probably I tried too hard, and I should have pulled the plug a long time ago.
I’m a chronic workaholic, and I never know when to quit.
I also have too many secrets, which made her suspect I was having affairs.
I never looked at another woman, though I sure as hell wasn’t getting much at home.
Now there’s enough sexual frustration coiled in my body to power the city.
But I don’t want casual sex. Nothing feels as heavenly as being obsessed with someone.
Across the restaurant, Elena wipes down a booth.
“One more thing,” Mercer adds. “How well you’ll be paid depends on your level of commitment.”
“What does that mean?”
He gives me a long, silent look. “They want you to lead the infiltration on the night.”
“You know I don’t go out on night jobs. Rebecca…” I was about to say Rebecca gets suspicious . I suddenly realize why Mercer has come to me with this job out of the blue.
Cullan is single. Time for crime.
Mercer gives me a mischievous smile.
I think about the offer, my mind racing. “I have Rosie most of the time. What if these people need me when my daughter is at home?”
“Haven’t you got a nanny?”
“Only for the daytime. ”
“Then ask Leon to watch her for the night. Get a babysitter. Any more excuses?”
My son holds Rosie like she’s a bomb about to detonate, but I suppose I could use a babysitter if I know they’re trustworthy.
Lead the infiltration. Actually go on the job.
Armed robbery is far fucking riskier than being the intel guy who’s safely at home by the time the job begins.
I used to be the guy on the ground going on jobs, and I was good at it, but when you have a wife and a kid and want to protect them from that world, it’s easier to be man who puts on a tan sweater and a trustworthy smile.
The man who fades into the background long before security systems are hacked, locks are broken, and the cops are called.
“I don’t make excuses. I assess risks. This is fucking risky.”
Mercer leans forward in the booth. “When I came here tonight and saw you, I thought, here’s a man who needs to feel alive again. Live dangerously. Get your hands dirty.”
I’m surprised to find I’m tempted by what he’s offering. Maybe I don’t want to be the man who fades into the background any longer. I laugh and shake my head. “You’re the devil, you know that?”
“So I’ve been told.”
Am I being a fool? At forty-one, aren’t I too old for this shit?
I suppose if I’m going to have a mid-life crisis, at least this will be vastly more interesting than buying a sports car and getting intensely into smoked meats.
There’s no angel sitting on my other shoulder telling me not to be reckless, or if there is, I’m done listening to them.
“All right. Give me their details.”
Mercer hands me a card with nothing written on it but a phone number, and I tuck it away in my pocket.
He leans forward and pats my cheeks. “Look at that. I’ve put a smile on your pretty face.”
I’m surprised to find I am smiling. “Shut the fuck up.”
I’m going to have to buy a silencer for one of my handguns. Black clothes with no distinguishing marks. More burner phones. There will be notes. Plans. Maybe I’ll come back to this diner and make my preparations so I can enjoy Elena’s sweet smiles and shining blue eyes.
I pull out my wallet and start dropping bills onto the check when I hear a voice behind me.
“Dad?”
I look around in surprise. My twenty-one-year-old son has walked up to our booth, and I don’t know who’s more surprised, me or him.
“Leon. What are you doing here?”
“I’m here to meet my girlfriend.” He points across the restaurant.
Right at Elena.
I feel an unpleasant, prickling sensation. Elena’s his girlfriend? I knew he was seeing someone, but he hasn’t brought her home yet.
Leon waves to Mercer. “Hey, Mr. Mercer.”
Mercer nods to him. “Leon. I haven’t seen you since you were in high school. We’re done eating, but you can join us.”
He moves over and my son sits down. Elena comes to clear our plates, and her blue eyes widen in surprise when she sees Leon sitting with us.
“My friend and I came in by chance, but it seems you know my son,” I tell her, forcing a smile.
She laughs. “Me making a fool of myself like that in front of my boyfriend’s dad? I’m so embarrassed.”
My boyfriend’s dad. That puts me in my place. I suppose she was too young for me anyway.
“What are you embarrassed about?” Leon asks her.
She shakes her head, her cheeks turning red. “I’ll tell you later, Leon. Can I buy you gentlemen a piece of pie?”
Elena is such a polite young woman, and it’s adorable the way she blushes. I shake my head. “Thank you, but my friend and I are heading out soon. I hope Leon will introduce us properly sometime. You should come around for dinner.”
“I’d love that, thank you.” Elena clears our table, and then I watch her move around the restaurant as Leon and Mercer talk. A couple of rough-looking men have taken the booth behind me, and I listen to Elena take their order.
“He’ll have a cheeseburger, and I’ll have a lap dance.” The men snigger like they’ve just heard the funniest joke.
I feel my eyes narrow.
Elena’s friendly tone fades. “Sorry, we don’t do that here. ”
“No cheeseburgers? Two lap dances then.” The men laugh even louder.
Across from me, Leon glances at the men and goes back to talking to Mercer.
Leon heard that just as clearly as I did, and he’s going to do nothing about it? Is he serious? If she were my woman, I would have been out of my seat at the first snigger.
Elena finally gets an order for two cheeseburgers out of the men and walks over to the kitchen with a red face and hurt, angry eyes.
I look at my son. I glare at him for so long that he gives me a confused look. “What?”
“I know you heard that.”
For a moment he’s still puzzled, and then he glances at the table behind me. “Those men? Elena says she gets that all the time. They’re harmless, but she has to humor them for tips.”
“Oh, for tips? That’s all right then.” It’s not fucking all right. I turn around in my seat.
“Dad, what are you doing?”
I’m doing what my son should be doing. I flick the man closest to me on the back of his head.
He twists in his seat and glares at me. “Can I help you?”
I give him my most charming smile. “I sure hope so. I’m politely asking you and your friend to leave that lady a good tip, and then fuck off. And it had better be the kind of tip that tells a woman you’re sorry for talking to her like she’s a piece of meat. ”
He looks at me like I’m crazy. “Why should we?”
I hold up my hands. “Hey, I’m leaving it up to you. It’s a suggestion.”
“Yeah, whatever. Go fuck yourself, buddy.” He starts to turn back to his friend.
“Sure, your choice.” I nod at Mercer. “But my friend and I have an hour to spare for a couple of assholes who ignore this suggestion.”
Mercer has his arms resting on the back of his booth and he’s wearing the least friendly expression I think I’ve ever seen as he glares at the men.
“I have a couple of baseball bats in the back of my truck,” I continue conversationally.
“There are a lot of lights burned out in that parking lot, and it will be pitch black when you walk to your vehicles. If brains get spattered on the concrete, I doubt that anyone will notice until they step in them.”
Please. Give me a fucking reason.
My son coughs nervously. “Dad, what are you—”
I hold up a hand, and Leon falls silent. “Unless you gentlemen would like to leave first, like I already asked.”
The two men exchange glances, and then both reach for their wallets. They put bills on the table that cover their burgers and Elena’s tip, then head for the door, shooting me looks like they think I’m crazy.
That’s better. I settle back against the seat knowing Elena won’t have to see their faces again tonight.
“And that’s how you do it,” Mercer says to my son .
“I’m supposed to threaten anyone who makes a dumb joke to my girlfriend?”
“You’re supposed to do something ,” I tell Leon. “You think a woman gets a good feeling when she sees you letting other men treat her like a piece of ass?”
“Elena knows how to look after herself,” Leon mutters, staring into his lap. “I’m not really into picking fights and causing scenes.”
No, he’s more into books and numbers, and that’s fine. I don’t expect him to get his knuckles bloody, but men calling out other men when they’re out of line should be normal. I can’t stand it when I see men sitting there while a woman is dying silently on the inside with no one in her corner.
“What scene?” Mercer asks, gesturing around. “Do you see blood anywhere? Did your father raise his voice? Cullan was very fucking reasonable. Do you want to know what I did to an idiot who splashed my sister with puddle water because he thought it was funny?”
“What did you do?”
In the past, I would have shot Mercer a look that told him to shut his mouth around my son, but Leon is twenty-one. He’s old enough to hear this.
“I made him eat his ear.”
Leon laughs nervously. “You’re screwing with me.” He looks back and forth between us, trying to figure out if Mercer is joking.
Elena arrives at the booth next to us carrying two cheeseburgers, and sees the empty seats and the money left at the table.
“They had to go, Elena,” Mercer calls to her. “Something about baseball.”
“Oh, thanks for letting me know. Want a free burger?” she asks Leon, and puts it in front of him.
Leon looks uncomfortable about being given something he knows he doesn’t deserve.
“Your girlfriend is kind and beautiful and a hard worker,” I tell him, when Elena is out of earshot. “She’s a rare diamond. Appreciate what you have before someone else does.”
Leon is wearing a sour expression and looking like he wants to tell me to mind my own business. He pushes away the burger and heads for the door. “Whatever. I’ll be waiting in my car, babe,” he calls to Elena.
Mercer and I get to our feet, and I drop some extra bills on the check. I think I must leave a fifty percent tip, but I feel the need to apologize for my son. I hope Elena didn’t notice Leon ignoring her while she was being harassed.
While Mercer heads out the door, I linger behind and catch Elena’s attention.
She gives me a big smile. “It was lovely meeting you, Mr. Grant. Chance is a funny thing.”
“It sure is.” I glance out the windows at the foggy night. “Does Leon come and meet you after every evening shift?”
“No, just sometimes.”
“Well, he should. The streets around here aren’t safe for a woman on her own. ”
She gives me a half shrug. “I’m used to looking after myself. I hope I see you again soon.”
If she wasn’t my son’s girlfriend, I’d probably be back for breakfast.
As I gaze down at her, I imagine tying her shoelace again, only this time, I close my hand around her ankle, caressing it as I whisper, Run . Then seizing it with an iron grip when she tries.
She would look beautiful fast asleep and naked in my bed, exhausted after I’ve fucked her for several hours. But she’d look stunning with fear flickering in those doll eyes, her lips parted as she breathed fast, a glow of cold sweat on her brow.
I wouldn’t hurt her, but the dangerous heat in my chest tells me how sweet it would be to play with her a little.
Keeping my tone polite and my expression neutral, I tell her, “Take care, Elena. Remember, it’s dangerous out there.”