Chapter 31 #2
He said it without any edge. Even so, I could feel the heavy energy that came with the admission. It reminded me of what Paxton had said about his mother—how his father had kept going after she passed, kept the family moving forward because that was the only direction available.
I thought about the version of myself that had believed for years that wanting a Daddy was shameful. That needing support made me less. That the parts of me that required gentleness were liabilities.
"Can I tell you something?" I asked.
He chuckled softly. "That's generally why I'm here."
"Before Paxton." I stopped to get ahold of the words. "Before all of this. I had convinced myself that the best I could hope for was managing everything quietly. My work, my vision, the Little side of me. All of it would just be under my control. I’d keep it to myself."
He nodded, listening intently as I continued.
"And then this person shows up and he just—" I laughed a little despite myself, which felt strange in the middle of this conversation but also exactly right.
"He showed up with donuts and a bear, and he fixed the lightbulbs in my conference room before I ever told him why that mattered, and somewhere in between all of that I stopped being able to remember why I thought handling everything alone was a better option. "
"Because it wasn't a better option," he added. "It was just the only option you'd been given up until that point."
I looked at him, unsure how he could deliver such a blow so nicely.
"My son is a lot of things." He leaned back in his chair.
"He's stubborn, and he's loud when it comes to things he cares about, and he has a ridiculous number of opinions about baseball that no one can change his mind about.
But the thing he is most, more than any of the rest of it, is steady. I think you know that by now."
"I do," I admitted.
"Then let it hold you up. That's what steady people are for. You don't have to earn the right to lean on him, Grizzly. He's already decided you're worth showing up for. All you have to do is stop finding reasons to argue with him about it."
Silence descended at his words. It wasn’t loaded with anger or anything. More like… understanding.
"He's lucky to have you," I said.
Paxton’s dad snorted. "I know it. Though I'll tell you, it's been the other way around more times than I can count.
" His expression shifted into something softer and more private for a moment.
"Raising a kid on your own, you spend a lot of time worrying you're getting it wrong.
That the gaps are too big. That they'll hold it against you eventually.
" He shook his head. "He never did. Not once.
Just kept being an amazing kid, then later an amazing young man.
I learned as much from him as he ever learned from me. "
I thought about Paxton on the floor of a playroom at Jake Bellport's house, sitting cross-legged with his hands folded in a gesture of patience.
I thought about him tucking Wells into my hands and saying he wanted me to have something good waiting at home.
I thought about him reading the menu in the diner without fanfare or comment, like it was the most ordinary thing in the world to notice what someone needed and quietly provide it.
I thought about the day before. The way he had held the reporter's gaze and said he wasn't going to reduce something that mattered to him.
"He's going to be fine," I said, and realized as I said it that I meant it. Not as a reassurance for Paxton’s dad.
I actually believed it. "The article is going to be what it's going to be, and there will probably be more of them. It’s either breakup, which neither of us wants, or understand this is part of our lives. "
"There he is." Approval coated his tone.
My phone buzzed on the table between us. I turned it over out of habit, expecting Cheyenne or one of the many people who’d already texted today.
It was Auden of all people.
I opened the message with a sense of confusion.
Just got off the phone with Meridian. They want Paxton. Full partnership. They said he was already on their list and last night accelerated their timeline. They're not deterred by the press—quite the opposite. They want to announce within the month if we can move. Call me when you're free.
I set the phone down on the table slowly, afraid that any serious movement would make what just happened not real anymore. Holy. Fucking. Shit.
"Everything alright?"
"Meridian," I whispered.
His eyes widened slightly. He knew the name. Most people who followed sports knew them.
Meridian was one of the largest athletic wear companies in the country, and they had spent the last several years building one of the most visible LGBTQIA advocacy platforms in professional sports.
Their partnership roster read like a who's who of famous people who had come out publicly and gone on to have longer, stronger careers than the people who had told them not to.
They were not in the business of quiet support.
And they wanted Paxton.
"Meridian reached out," I said, because saying it again made it more real. "They want a full partnership. They said last night accelerated their timeline of reaching out."
The silence lasted exactly one second.
Then Paxton’s dad shouted as he pumped his arms in the air. The high of it all tore through me too, and next thing I knew, I couldn’t stop laughing and crying.
He pressed both hands flat to the table, leaning forward, his eyes bright. "That's not a coincidence. That's the world deciding to remind you both who the fuck you are."
The guilt that had been sitting there since last night faded with the joy of the moment.
I suspected it would come back in quieter moments and require some actual evaluation then.
But right now, with Auden's message on the screen and Paxton's father across the table looking at me with glee in his eyes, it was hard to hold onto.
"He's going to lose his mind.”
"He absolutely is. And I’ll personally be there to watch it happen." He pointed at my phone. "You call your person back and get those wheels moving. This is the beginning of something big."
"I know. Part of me can’t believe it, while the rest of me knew it was only a matter of time."
"I mean bigger than big. You know, when he first told me about you—before he'd even talked to you actually—I thought, well, that boy has found someone to root for.
He gets that from his mother. She was the same way.
She could look at a person and decide they were worth it before they'd said a word.
" He turned the coffee cup slowly in his hands. "She would have liked you."
I didn't trust myself to respond to that immediately. I took a breath and let it out slowly. Then I did it again for good measure.
"I think I would have liked her too," I managed.
He nodded, satisfied with that.
We sat together for a moment in the quiet of a kitchen on a Sunday morning, with cold pastries, half-finished coffee, and amazing news worth celebrating.
"You're going to be a great agent for him," he said, dropping the trash in the bin. "You already are. The vision and the Little side and whatever else you carry around worrying about—none of it makes you less than. You understand me?"
"I'm working on it," I said honestly.
He smiled, and there was nothing in it but warmth. "That'll do for now." He moved toward the door, then paused with his hand on the frame and turned back. "One more thing."
"Yes?"
"You've got a world of people rooting for you two. Not just me. The team, this city, a company that's about to put his face on everything they believe in." He nodded. "That's not nothing, Grizzly. Let it be something."
He left before I could find a response to that, which I suspected was intentional.
I sat in the kitchen for another minute. Then I called Auden.
“Grizzly,” they answered.
“Let’s get this moving. I want to prove everyone doubting Paxton Wells wrong.”
Auden hummed. “I like this protective side of you. Nice to see a Little stick up for those they love. Your Daddy is going to be really damn proud of you.”