2. Always Watching
Always Watching
Auryn’reh Solah…
Look at you.
At what you have become.
You missed the Reckoning. Disobeyed the sacred Law.
Went against tradition. You are the Sokar, are you not?
Your duty is to Doctrine. Yet here you sit, in your hidden corner of the Umbral Archives, curled up like a dying star.
You’ll wrinkle your gown. All that lovely mana thread, gone to waste.
Are you not ashamed? Think of how many Crafters gave their lives to make it.
No, do not say you did not choose it. You used the Sight. Scarred your eyes to see the paths ahead. Witnessed the suffering you now walk.
Willingly, you went.
You chose.
Became sovereign.
And a sovereign does not absolve herself of blame when truth is painful. Voiceless you may be. Invisible as the Attendant at your side. But you are Numen, though you would deny it.
Call it what you will.
Sokar.
Child of the Void.
Sovereign Star.
But you are Numen all the same.
Auryn’reh…
No. Do not shake your head. Do not mutter excuses. Do not fidget. Do not let your face reflect your thoughts. At all times, you must wear the Sokar’s mask, for they are watching, even when you think yourself alone. The walls have eyes, the stone has ears. All leading to one place.
To him.
You know of whom I speak.
The mirror image of your doomed love.
He sees all that transpires in this tower. Wields magic the world hardly remembers. Speaks in tongues and riddles.
You fear him.
Admit it.
Ever since you learned of the Rite, since you understood what he could do to your Resh’Agar—that he could wound him, take everything from him—you have not known a single night of rest. And that is why you scream.
Wake from dreams tangled in visions of the future.
Wondering…how can you protect your Silari when he may not remember you?
No, Auryn’reh.
Do not frown.
They are watching.
The walls.
The stone.
The Shields.
Watching.
Keep your Sokar’s mask in place. Turn the page of the book before you. Slowly, now. Calmly.
Do you hear the Onyx Horn? It bellows through the Daesa Major. It shakes the walls like thunder. He is here, Auryn’reh. He has returned.
If you hurry, you may still meet him. But if you choose not to greet your consort, then you must go to your Attendant.
You must eat. It has been days, Auryn’reh.
This body already deteriorates within the corrupted magic of the Shields.
Without sustenance, no matter how meager, this form will collapse. Already weak. Already fractured.
Go to him, Auryn’reh.
Go to your Resh’Agar.
Call him what you will.
Resh.
Kailorien.
Iridias.
But he is your Silari all the same.
Despite your delusion, even trapped this mind which denies your origins, you cannot escape from the world’s truth. You are Numen, and the Numen cannot exist without her Silari’s breath.
Go to him, Auryn’reh.
Find him.
Even if he remembers nothing, he can still fulfill his purpose. Relinquish this foolish love, and choose to live.
Do not deny it. Stop. Do not push this—Auryn—Stop—
You will die—
So be it.