Chapter 1 #2
“What’s going on with you, Lauryn? You good?”
She pulled the large spoon out of her mouth before shaking her head. “Nothin’. I’m fine.”
“Everything good with you and D?”
“We’re good, too.”
“So, what am I missin’?” I queried.
She frowned. “Meaning what?”
“Meaning, how long are you going to lie to me and tell me everything is sweet when I can smell the bullshit?”
She hissed out a breath. “I just want to be happy, permanently. I want us all to be happy.”
“Is there such thing as permanent happiness, Lauryn?”
She shrugged her lean shoulders. “I don’t know. Every time I feel like I get a glimpse of it, it’s always snatched away.”
“What do you not have to be happy about? You just bought a house, you’re engaged, and you’re having a baby with the man you love.”
“It’s everything I thought I wanted. And don’t get me wrong, I want it. I really do. I just—I just can’t help but feel like the other shoe is going to drop at any minute. Like, what did I do that was so good to deserve all of this?”
“It sounds like you’re dealing with some imposter syndrome issues. You deserve every good thing that’s coming to you in this world, okay? You’re a great person, Lauryn. You’re gorgeous. You’re smart. You’re funny. You’re—”
“Okay, okay. I get it. I don’t know. I think I’m just nervous. Like what if this baby comes out and like never sleeps or rips my body apart on its way out? I swear, I be having the craziest thoughts run through my head all hours of the day and night, and I don’t ever say anything to anybody.”
“Why haven’t you talked to D about how you’re feeling?” I wondered.
She shook her head. “No. I don’t want him to think I can’t handle this, and I definitely don’t want him breathing down my neck any more than he already is. I love him, and I don’t want to put any more pressure on him.”
“I understand, but you can’t go around harboring all of these emotions either. You know I’m always here if you want to talk.”
“Thank you, girl. Now, enough about me and my boring, pregnant life. Tell me all about this relationship with Hendrix. What’s the tea? What’s the update? You’ve been very private with this one, and I’m utterly shocked.”
I shot up an inquisitive eyebrow. “Oh yeah? And why is that?”
“Because you’re you, and I’m me. We share everything, bitch. You know, Mark can’t get anything out of Hendrix either.”
I snickered. “You just shaking all the trees, huh?”
“Every last branch,” she joked, amusement rippling past her lips.
My cheeks flamed at the thought of him. “I don’t know, Lauryn. It’s just different with him. I don’t know if it’s because we have a past or what, but I’m…dare I say, happy?”
She cheesed, showing a full rack of teeth.
“That’s exactly what you should be if he’s doing his job correctly, and from the looks of it, he is.
You haven’t stopped smiling since you got here.
I know I’m cute and all, but I figured only D could have a bitch cheesing and showing all thirty-two like you are.
So, go ahead and tell me about this perfect little secret love life of yours! ”
“Hmph. It’s good. We’re good. We’re, you know, taking it…day by day, month by month,” I said coyly.
“Do I hear wedding bells?”
“You must mean your own, because…”
A frown shadowed her smile. “Because what?”
“Because we’ve only been together for a few months,” I reminded her.
“Have you even thought about it?”
“Of course, I have. Every woman thinks of that, right? I’m not trying to get hung up on that. Relationships aren’t always about having a piece of metal wrapped around my finger. No offense.”
She shook her head. “None taken.”
“I’m just saying, I like where we are right now and if a ring is in my future, then I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it.”
Truthfully, I’d been floating on cloud ninety-nine for the past six months. Shit had been better than good. It was the first time I admitted out loud that I’d entertained the idea of changing my last name to Croft a time or two, but I was still going to play it cool.
“That’s it? That’s all you’re going to fucking give me? I’ve been patient with your ass for six whole months, Cass! So, no! Nah! You gotta give it up and you gotta do it right the fuck now, or I ain’t puttin’ up another damn Christmas nothin’ in this house!”
I tried my best to stifle a smile. “I got everything that I want right now, trust me. You don’t have to worry about Hendrix. He’s taking good care of me,” I told her.
She eyed me closely. “Mmm, physically or is he breakin’ you off with more than just dick?”
I clicked my teeth together. “What do you mean?”
“You over here talkin’ like he feedin’ your soul and shit, so I just wanna know what else he’s putting down other than pipe.”
“I don’t know why you think just because of his occupation, I’m living in the lap of luxury. I have my own and you know that.”
“Yeah, I do. That’s the best part! It’s exactly what makes your fuckin’ life so good. Stash yours and spend his!”
“Listen, before getting with Hendrix, I thought being the girlfriend of an NBA player was about the wining a dining, random vacations on a Wednesday, the shoes, God the shoes, you know? But now that I’m in it, being with someone that everyone worships is far from easy.
For one, his schedule is crazy. He plays like eighty or something games a year.
Half are in Kansas City and the other half are away and across the country.
Sometimes he’s gone for a couple days, sometimes he’s gone for a week.
And with my work schedule fluctuating the way it does, I can only really count on seeing him maybe one or two days out of the month. ”
“Oh, so you delirious from lack of the hood wood, huh?”
“Very. My dick supply is almost fully depleted, and my pussy is on life support. And trust, the phone sex ain’t cuttin’ it.”
“Girl, I bet. Can’t nothin’ compare to the real thang,” she boasted, spooning another mouthful of ice cream between her lips.
“Girl, and that’s what I’m saying. My real thang is across the country at any given moment. These bitches swear they know more about my man than I do! They know his stats, all the teams he’s played for, where he’s staying, how long he gon’ be there, everything.”
“See, I’d have to cut a bitch. But you know, you wanna protect your peace and shit, like your face wasn’t already in the blogs when those pictures were posted of y’all holding hands at the airport leaving the island like y’all was all in love and shit.” She snickered.
“Yeah, but there hasn’t been much talk about it since. We’ve been cautious. Mainly me, because I don’t want or need all my business in the streets at any given time.”
“So, the reason y’all aren’t public all day every day is because of you?”
“Exactly. I told him I wanted to take things slow and that’s what we’ve been doing. Just taking things day by day and month by month, like I said,” I repeated.
We’d managed to keep the buzz to a minimum over the months, never confirming or denying anything.
We’d order in instead of dining out and staying secluded behind the walls of his place or mine.
We weren’t posting all our whereabouts on the ‘Gram, because the only two people who needed to know about us, knew.
“You a better one than me, that’s all I’m sayin’.”
“I’m not above it, trust. And don’t get me wrong, it definitely bothers me sometimes because I know how scandalous some of these women are, but at the same time, these past six months have been so blissful because we’ve been lowkey for the most part.
I enjoy a little tea and drama like the next bitch, but not when it’s about me and the dick I’m sittin’ on.
I like my peace. I got my life and he has his.
I don’t wanna get swallowed up in him just because I’m dating him. ”
“Yeah, I feel you. I know I’d still be wanting to put these hoes in check, though. Belly and all,” she reassured me, rubbing her round belly.
“I can’t quit my life for him, but I still support him by watching every game on TV and cheering him on from the comfort of my eating sweats and couch.”
“What the fuck did I tell you about them pants, hoe? Damn! Christmas is coming up, I’ma get you right. Say less.”
I chuckled. “You’re a bitch.”
“And you still love me,” she concluded, blowing me a kiss.
Two and a half hours later, I looked around Lauryn’s house, admiring my work with a grin of satisfaction painted across my face. “Wow…”
“What?”
“It’s beginning to look a lot like…”
“Christmas!” she answered, hanging the last few ornaments on the tree. “I still can’t believe I let you do all this. I knew for sure we’d be at the store at least an hour ago!”
“Admit it! It makes you smile, right?”
“Yeah, it does. It’ll be something nice to come home to. I guess you do know how to make a house a home or whatever,” she said before rolling her eyes.
“I mean, it’s nothing like my house, but we can’t all be number one,” I boasted as a chuckle blew from my nose.
“Now that we’ve done what you wanted to do, let’s go do what I wanna do! Let’s go blow a bag at the party store for my baby shower because everything has to be perfect! Oh, and let’s stop by the mall so I can get a cinnamon pretzel and a pretzel dog with cheese!”
“Aight, let’s go!” I chuckled before walking over to help her slide her swollen feet into her fuzzy black UGG slides and strolled out to the car.