Chapter 56 Carys
Carys
Last night, Durvla visited me in my dreams. This morning, my eyelids are heavy as I wake up, my body heavier. It sinks into the bed as if there’s nothing beneath me, and my chest aches for reasons I’m unable to confront.
But I must get up. Today is a council meeting, and I’ll be damned if I allow Iywan and the councilors to continue to dictate my moves.
I’m a jittery mess sitting in my vanity chair as Ellynne plaits my hair and Lowri pours me a goblet of wine.
“Not too much,” Ellynne says firmly to her sister.
Lowri eases up on the pouring, and I scowl at Ellynne even though she can’t see my face.
“You ought to have your wits about you when you meet with the Council, don’t you think?”
I have to swallow more forcefully than usual to get the wine past the lump in my throat. “Part of me wants to drink until I pass out, and then I won’t have to attend the meeting.”
Lowri pulls up a chair to sit closer. “What are you going to say?” she asks me.
“I haven’t a clue,” I sigh.
There’s sympathy etched into Lowri’s face. “You … could rehearse with us? There’s still time.”
I decline her offer and sip my wine.
“I’m going to accidentally stab your scalp with this pin if you keep moving,” Ellynne says.
My leg is jostling up and down of its own volition, so I press the heel of my foot down to stop the incessant motion. The little courage I have is slipping through my fingers. “I don’t want to go to this damn meeting. What’s the point? They don’t listen to me.”
I want to go back to sleep. I want to talk to Durvla again.
Too bad I have no clue how this whole dreamwalking thing works.
But was the first time in a long time that I’ve had even a semblance of hope.
My hand moves to my necklace, clutching the amulet like a lifeline.
Sometimes I want to yank it off my neck and set fire to my bedchamber while I’m locked inside it.
Then I can avoid this loathsome palace life.
“Princess …” Lowri’s voice is soft, but it snaps me out of my thoughts, nonetheless. “Why are you crying?”
“I’m not …” I touch my fingers to my cheeks, and they come away wet. I swipe the tears away and drop my face into my hands.
Ellynne’s grasp on my hair releases and her voice comes from in front of me suddenly. “You have a lot going on, I know,” she says gently. “And also … I miss them too.”
I open my eyes, and I hate that a trickle of tears escapes. I swipe at my cheek again.
“It’s perfectly normal to miss your friends when they’re no longer with you.
Especially when it’s so sudden and when there is so much going on.
It’s alright to let yourself feel it all in here.
” She points vaguely behind me. “But you’ll have to walk into that council chamber like the warrior princess you are and show them that you are the heir to the throne, not Iywan. ”
Lowri’s expression mimics my uncertainty. As perfect as Ellynne’s words are, I’m just so tired.
“Carys.” Ellynne’s tone is firm, determination on her face. “You can do this. Heart of a warrior remember?”
I nod, although I certainly cannot do this.
Ellynne pulls a handkerchief from her pocket and hands it to me. “Now wipe those tears and stop messing up my makeup.” She winks at me, and I choke out a small laugh as I dab at my face. “I’m going to have to start all over now. What a mess.”
I laugh even harder, the tightness in my chest loosening a bit. It lasts all of three seconds before my mind starts reeling again.
My chest aches as my breathing grows faster, and Ellynne leans over me, her hands firmly on my shoulders. “Heart of a warrior.”
I gulp down air and nod. Tucking the amulet into my high neckline, I rub my clammy hands over the skirt of my dress and pull in a breath. “Alright.” My voice comes out whispered, and I clear my throat.
Lowri reaches across to pour a little more wine into my goblet. Ellynne protests, but Lowri says, “Just a little more. She needs it.”
It’s such a bold move for her that I can’t resist chuckling. “Thank you.” I take the goblet from her and sip it slowly while Ellynne shakes her head at me with disapproval.
I’m barely finished drinking before Ellynne takes the goblet away. “Let’s get rid of the evidence of your tears. No more wine.”
The council chamber is empty save for Iywan standing there with his fingers laced together in front of his body. I halt, Callum beside me, having switched his shift with Ren today. As much as I try to keep the confusion off my face, I know it’s more than evident.
Iywan offers me a polite smile. “Apologies for the late notice, Princess. But the meeting is canceled today.”
Relief and dread wrestle for dominance within me. It doesn’t help that I’m already nauseated. “Why?” I force myself to say.
“None of the council members were able to be present today.”
I wait, but he offers no further explanation. He only squints at me.
“I will find out what your plan is, Iywan.” My voice sounds annoyingly breathless, my hands shaking as I clasp them together.
Iywan grinds his teeth together then unclenches his jaw. “I know not what you speak of, Princess.”
My lips part, everything I’ve learned about magic and what I’ve overheard from Iywan set to tumble free.
Don’t, says a voice in my head. Patience.
I snap my mouth shut, wincing as the amulet burns against my skin.
“You know exactly what I speak of,” I say.
Iywan sneers and my heart jumps. “They’ll never believe a thing you say,” he says.
“They’ll never believe the princess who has always been volatile and unstable, coddled by her royal parents and protected like a fragile gem within the castle walls.
Who do you think they trust more? The fickle, pampered royal who drinks in excess and beds anything with two legs, who has hardly ever taken the time to listen to citizens in Audience?
Or me, the queen’s loyal advisor who has been there for them when you refused?
Wake up, Princess. You are nothing without me bolstering your credibility. ”
A tremor starts from within me and spreads to my limbs until my arms start to tingle. My eyes prickle, a knot tangling my insides. Turning, I practically run toward the door.
“By all means, Princess, tell everyone what you know.” Iywan’s voice sounds far too amused before the door shuts behind Callum and me.
“Princess?” Callum calls, keeping up with my panicked steps.
“We’re going to my mother.”
He nods. My mind is reeling as we hurry toward my mother’s bedchamber.
It does nothing to help chase away the dizziness that’s slowly creeping up on me.
I’m too overcome. I need to head back to my bedchamber and just lie down for a while.
But first, I need to figure things out. When my mother was awake and lucid, she claimed she’d taken away my memories.
What sort of powers does my mother have that she could take my memories away?
“Princess?” Callum calls again.
I stand rooted to the spot, unable to move as piles of information flood my mind. Maybe my mother’s a Mind Whisperer … Though I’ve never heard her speak into my mind, unless I was … dreaming.
I have no clue how any of this all works, but I’m grasping at straws. I need one last moment with my mother. I need her advice. I need her.
“Carys.”
I blink at Callum, then gesture in the direction that we had been going.
He couldn’t look more confused or worried, but I don’t have time to put his mind at ease.
Soon, we approach my mother’s bedchamber where more maroon-clad guards than usual stand directly in front of her door.
I wait, expecting them to step aside as they always do, but no one makes even the slightest shift.
“Step aside.” The command in my voice is deceptive.
“Apologies, Your Highness. We’ve been given instructions not to let anyone through,” one of the guards speaks up.
“I am Princess Carys Meredyth fa Rhodri, daughter of Morwenna, heir to the throne.” Gods, when last did I have to drop my entire title. It’s so exuberant, so unnecessary.
“The command came from Queen Morwenna, the Good, Your Highness.”
I bark out a laugh. “Lord Iywan does not speak for the queen. I do.” This has his name written all over it.
“Your Highness, it was not Lord Iywan. It’s the queen’s request.”
What in Rhianu’s name?
He bows deeply, as if that would make me forget everything. As I’m about to demand they let me in, there’s a knock on the door from the inside, and Briony steps out. The guards close the gap again as soon as she’s through.
“Oh!” Briony holds a hand over her chest as though I’ve surprised her. The other hand clutches a bowl. “I didn’t see you there, Princess. My apologies. The queen is not in the condition to have visitors.”
I glower at the bowl of leeches. “Whatever you and Iywan have planned is not going to work. Now get out of my way, all of you.” I sound less regal by the moment, but my patience is hanging by a thread.
“I don’t know what you’re referring to, Your Highness.” Her sugary voice makes me want to slap her across her plain face and break her little upturned nose.
“Don’t play the fool with me, Briony. Get out of my way.” I shove past her and start to shove past the door. Something changes in Briony’s eyes.
“Sir Callum,” she says. “Escort the princess back to her bedchamber.”
My head snaps to Callum, and I burst out laughing. “Callum does not take orders from you. Who do you think you are?”
Briony smiles and steps toward me, placing a hand on my shoulder. Pain lances up my arm and I yelp. Callum yanks Briony off me while I’m whimpering and clutching my shoulder. What in the gods … What is happening?
“Your Highness,” says Lord Iywan. “What seems to be the problem?”
I don’t even know when he arrived. I’m still reeling from the sudden pain in my shoulder.
“Your mother has requested no visitors. And that includes you. My hands are tied.”
I turn to each person one at a time. Is this a nightmare or has everyone gone absolutely mental? “My mother couldn’t possibly give such a command because she is unconscious,” I say loudly.
Iywan stands tensely, his shoulders squared. “Princess, before you say something else slanderous about the monarch of this nation, I would suggest that you retire to your bedchamber for the night.”
Slanderous? My jaw slackens. “What now? You’ll accuse me of treason?”
Callum doesn’t hesitate this time. He places his hand on the small of my back and steers me away from the chaos.
I have no words. I barely have thoughts.
My head is even woozier as we trek back across the castle. A servant rushes by, and I call out to her. “Yes, Your Highness,” she says, dropping into a curtsy with a tray held firmly in her hands.
“Send Ellynne and Lowri to my bedchamber.”
“Yes, Your Highness.” Another curtsy and she’s off.
Once we’re standing in front of my door, Callum turns to me. “Carys …” His eyes are wide, and his voice unsteady. His fear is unmistakable, almost suffocating. “Something strange is going on.”
“No shit, Callum.” I say louder than I mean to. “This is … mutiny, right?”
“If we were on a ship, yes.”
I grunt in frustration.
“I’ll be out here.”
With another grunt, I step into my room and Callum shuts the door.
I yank The Book of Agryna and the Erleyan Book of Folklore and Fairytales out from beneath my bed and place them atop the mattress.
I have both open in front of me as Ellynne and Lowri barge through the door without even so much as an announcement.
“What happened?” Ellynne demands.
“I couldn’t even begin to explain,” I mumble as I trace a passage of sacred texts. Even though it is written in the Ancient Tongue, some sentences are out of sequence, and some have dubious word choices. As though whoever wrote it was not as well-versed in the Ancient Tongue.
The bed sinks as Ellynne crawls onto it from the other side and settles in beside me. “Callum says that the Queen’s Guards turned on you?”
I pinch the bridge of my nose and exhale slowly.
“Yes.” My voice is not nearly as tense as I am.
I glance up briefly at the sisters. “I’m not sure what’s happening.
I think Iywan is trying to overthrow me.
They’re all claiming that the queen ordered that no one, including me, enters her bedchamber.
Which is impossible, because she has been unconscious for weeks and she wouldn’t say no to visits from me. ”
Would she? I swallow a sob. What if it’s all true? I flip through pages aimlessly to distract myself. I need sleep. Maybe Durvla will somehow dreamwalk to me again. Maybe if I fall asleep focusing on her. “I need more wine.”
The bed shifts as Lowri walks away. I’m confused for a moment until she reaches for the bottle of wine left on my vanity. I didn’t even realize I’d spoken aloud.
“You do not need more wine,” Ellynne says.
Lowri returns with a goblet, but before I can take it, Ellynne snatches it and downs the whole thing.
I stare at her, exasperated, before snatching the goblet back from her. “My own advisor and the Queen’s Guards have turned against me. I need more wine.” I don’t turn away from Ellynne as I hand the goblet back to Lowri.
Ellynne sighs heavily in resignation. “Fine.”
I lose track of time as I pore over the books, trying to cram as much of the information into my mind as I can, trying to commit it all to memory in case I need to wield it like a weapon somehow.
My eyes grow heavier and heavier, my stomach churning, my head woozy.
I’ve yawned so much by now that my jaw aches.
I close the books and set them in the drawer of my nightstand.
Beside me, Ellynne is dozing off as well. I glance to the window to find the sun still shining, but the fight to stay awake grows futile. “I’m … going to take a nap,” I tell the ladies. I try to focus my dizzying thoughts but it’s difficult.
I throw out Durvla’s name to the universe: Durvla, dreamwalk to me. Please. Please, Durvla.
I don’t even get the chance to get into a comfortable position before Sunlagh whisks me away.