Chapter 4
Finn
“What do you mean you’re leaving?” Declan asks, affronted that I would dare leave the house with the mess our parents created in the formal dining room of all places.
I glare at him before getting up from the table that is now destroyed with greens, potatoes, and blueberry rhubarb pie everywhere. “Exactly what I said. I have plans, so I’m leaving.”
Declan stands as well, moving so fast his chair tips back, the sound echoing in the open room. “You need to clean up your mess of a father and get him to go after his associates. They made a mockery of us tonight.”
Glancing from his pointed finger to my seething stepbrother, I smirk. “No, I believe that was your mother who made a mockery of us when she outed her affair with the treasurer's son after too much wine. Fuck’s sake, we hadn’t even made it to dessert yet.”
I watch as a deep red flush creeps up his neck, his eyes bulging from the anger he’s holding in. “If we lose this deal, we’ll lose forty-eight percent of our profit for next year, Finn. Do you have any idea what that means?”
“That you and your mother should spend less and conserve more?” I scoff, backing farther away from the mess around me.
Two adults acting like fucking children, throwing food at each other while arguing.
I blanked out during the fight, wanting the floor to open and swallow me whole.
I know I’ll never forget the astonished, disgusted looks of the company’s biggest associates.
I also should have known that my father was in no condition to host tonight when I saw him dip into the brandy bottle right after breakfast. I had been so caught up all day in my plans for the night, the chance to see Winnie, to make things right.
Declan moves closer, his arm reaching out to smack me, but this time I’m expecting it, my reflexes quicker. “I’m as big as you are now, brother,” I spit out the word. “Next time you try to hit me, expect me to hit back. This is your only warning.”
“You’re as deranged and pathetic as he is,” Declan seethes before stalking past me and out of the room.
It's not until he’s gone, and the noise in the house has settled that Cora pops in and starts cleaning up the mess.
Her worried eyes track all over me and I shake my head at her silently.
I don’t need her worry or pity. This family has been broken for as long as I can remember, and I wish I could say this is the worst of the scandals we’ve endured.
Somehow it will all turn out right. I’ll be forced to bring manipulative evidence to each board member, threatening to expose something new about them unless they keep the details of tonight hushed and stay on my father’s side.
They’ll fold. Sign a few NDAs, and next time we won’t host a corporate dinner at our home.
Same story, same outcome. Declan will play the hero in my father’s eyes, and he’ll continue to turn blind ones to the things his wife does.
Their relationship is fucked up. I’m not even sure if they love each other or if they thrive on the drama that it creates while indulging in the wealth they have.
It's not like they earned it. My father sure as hell hasn’t earned the money that was handed down to him, and he lives and feeds off those below him who actually do the work.
He’s the worst sort of parasite and boss.
Feeling disgusted, I flee the dining room and head upstairs to my room.
My gaze falls on the clock, and I notice that if I don’t leave in the next fifteen minutes, I’ll be late to the meet-up with Jered and to see Winnie.
One look in the mirror shows me that it will take longer than fifteen to clean up the gravy and lettuce that is stuck in my hair.
My shoulders hunch, and I hang my head, feeling defeated.
The perfect night I had planned in order to get my girl back, and it went to shit because of my family.
My phone pings and I carefully take it out of my pocket, trying to avoid any food getting on the screen.
A message from Jered is waiting for me. I click it open, and it's a pin to the location they're meeting at.
I have to be there. Nothing else matters tonight except getting to her.
I’m ten minutes late by the time I get to the movie theater and jog to the door.
The place is packed, the arcade full of cheering; the pool hall area is full of laughter and bodies as well.
My eyes flick over the three different movies playing in the theater, hoping that I’ll get the chance to have Winnie to myself later in there.
If she forgives me, and if I haven’t dug myself a deeper hole by being here tonight.
Maybe I should have warned her? Asked if she was okay with me showing up?
Except the night we met was a coincidence, and selfishly, I wanted her to think my being here tonight was too.
I didn’t plan to be drawn to a girl in a daisy-printed dress whose smile filled my whole chest with warmth on the night of the fair.
It just happened, fated, meant to be, I don’t know what to call it.
I was stupid to ignore that first feeling I had that night when I saw her.
It was my biggest mistake to let her go despite the shame that flooded my system every time I thought about the mess that was awaiting me at home.
Jered spots me right away and gives me a subtle head nod before glancing over to the side.
I ignore the scowl his girlfriend is channeling my way and instead follow his line of vision until I see her.
God. I swear my heart stops beating when I spot Winnie, looking just as pretty as the last time I saw her.
She’s wearing another dress, a deep, rose-colored, long-sleeved dress that stops mid-thigh on her long, tanned legs.
My lips tick up in a smile when I notice that, once again, she’s wearing the same cowgirl boots as the night we met, and I’m starting to think they’re her favorite.
Unlike the last time, her long blonde hair is pulled up into a ponytail, secured with a white bow, leaving her slender neck bare.
I want nothing more than to press my lips to her silky skin and hold her close.
Without hesitating, I head in her direction, focused intently on her and not the pinball game she’s playing or the fact that Russ is next to her, and she’s constantly smiling at him.
He looks at her like she hung the moon, and even though I feel for him, because I’m smitten with her too, he can’t have her.
Besides, when I asked her that night, she said she felt like Russ and Jered were brothers to her.
But maybe things have changed? She slaps the ball into the hole, and the machine blinks her score and game over right as I reach her.
“Winnie,” I say her name, softly enough not to scare her, but with enough edge that demands her attention. Her head turns my way, and I see the shock on her face, and those dark, cinnamon brown eyes widen when she looks at me.
“Finn?” Her brow furrows slightly. “What are you doing here?”
I lean into her so she can hear me over the crowd, my lips grazing her ear, and fuck she smells like vanilla and sugar. “Can we talk?”
She leans back, looking up at me. We’re so close I can feel her heart beating against my chest, and I refuse to back out of her space. “I thought that's what we already did?”
I make myself hold her gaze. “I thought a lot about what you said, and I was hoping that you would give me just five minutes because I want to tell you the truth.”
Her eyes search mine, looking for the truth in my words, listening to the sincerity I hope is bleeding into my voice. I need her to hear me out before she cuts me out of her life for good.
“I promise, Winnie. Just five minutes, and if you still never want to see me again, I’ll leave.”
“Win, are you okay?” Russ asks her quietly, glancing at me, his arms crossed.
I want to be mad at him, but part of me also respects that he’s checking on her, even if he wants to be more than friends with her. I nod my head at him before turning back to her, waiting for the words that will put me out of my misery.
Winnie swings her gaze to Russ, smiling, “I’m okay.” Then she turns back to me, and a small huff leaves her lips. “Five minutes.”
She turns and starts walking out of the arcade, and I follow, hot on her heels, my hand resting on her back the rest of the way to guide her through the crowd.
It's busy in here tonight, and I’d rather she not be bumped into or jostled around.
Once we reach the main area, she turns to me, arms crossed.
“Ah, how about we get an ice cream?” I try, wanting to prolong my time with her.
Her brow lifts. “You said you wanted to talk, not go on a date.”
I smirk. “Would you have said yes to a date?”
Her booted foot gives a small stomp, and it's adorable. Her cheeks flush when she realizes what she did, and she drops her arms. “If you don’t want to talk then we have no reason to keep standing here, Finn.”
“I know. I’m sorry,” I apologize, before reaching down to take her hand and having her follow me to the outside patio.
It's lit up with fairy lights and only a few people are gathered. I lead her over to the railing, where we can look out at the city. The moon is bright in the night sky, even if none of the stars are visible. Winnie turns to face me, and I take her other hand in mine, finding strength in her touch. Surprisingly, she doesn’t let me go either.
“I had the best night of my life with you at that fair, Winnie. Most of the time, I go out with my friends just for something to do, to escape. But that night was different. I fell for you instantly.”
“Then what happened?” she asks, her voice soft, concern etched into her face.
“I remembered who I was,” I laugh, but it's humorless, full of loathing. “I got home, and my dad was a mess, like always. And like always, because I’m the dutiful son, I cleaned it up. When I went to bed, I couldn’t remember how it felt to hold you.
I couldn’t feel anything but hatred for the family I belonged to.
I could never bring you into my world, Win, to let you carry the shame of having me in yours. I know you know I’m a Kinsella.”
Winnie’s face pales, and she swallows before blowing out a breath. “I knew who you were when you left, and I still texted you like you asked because I wanted to. I felt it too, Finn. Your last name didn’t matter to me.”
I take a deep breath in and out, trying to push the emotion down that is clogging my throat.
“I don’t have a good family, Winnie. I can never invite you over; I never want their presence to taint you.
But I’m selfish because I want you. I want to feel the way I did that night with you, and not worry about the politics of it.
I'm sorry. I can’t tell you how sorry I am.
I should have texted you back. I should have called you the next day,” I tell her, dropping her hands and wrapping my arms around her waist. Winnie moves with me, instead of away, her arms resting on my shoulders, her fingers playing with the hair at the back of my neck. My whole body shudders from her touch.
“I don’t have the perfect family either, Finn.
I can’t promise you many nights out or staying out past ten because I always have a curfew, and my parents are strict.
You’ll have to come to my house eventually and they’ll judge you because that's how they are. They’re scared of what they don’t understand, and they rely heavily on their church,” she tells me, and I notice tears forming in her eyes.
One escapes and I quickly wipe it off her cheek.
“So what you’re saying is that we both have fucked-up families.” I smile at her, and she laughs. I love that sound from her.
“Yeah.” She nods and laughs again, and this time, I join her. “I won’t judge you because of yours. I’m hoping we can just be Finn and Winnie and everything else won’t matter.”
“I can do that,” I promise her, stepping closer and bringing her body into mine.
I can feel how soft she is against me. I watch as her eyes turn darker, molten coffee, and her cheeks blush prettily.
She bites her lip like she’s nervous, and the sight of it makes me want to protect her while also pressing her into the railing behind us to taste those lips again.
“I want to be what you need, Winnie. There’s nothing I want more than to kiss you right now, so if you aren’t ready, if you want to go slow after I almost fucking ruined us, let me know. ”
She inhales lightly, her fingers tightening in my hair. Her eyes dip to my lips involuntarily. “I want you to kiss me, Finn.”
I bend down in an instant, capturing her mouth with mine.
My heart hammers in my chest when she melts even more into me.
My arms wrap around her, almost lifting her off her feet, just needing to have her close.
Still, my lips never leave hers, tasting her, and finally feeling whole for the first time in my life.
I’d be an idiot to ever let her go again.