Chapter 6 #3
My heart squeezes painfully with her denial, but I can’t let her go.
I need to see her, to explain, and to apologize.
I rush to the side of the pergola and start climbing up the sides before swinging my legs up over the top.
The entire structure sways under my weight as I shift from foot to foot on the boards.
How the hell she ever manages to sneak out onto this thing is a mystery.
I’m going to break my neck before I even get to talk to her.
“Have you lost your mind?” Winnie hisses, her eyes watching me, and an angry blush smudges her cheeks. “You shouldn’t come up here.”
“I need to talk to you, Win. Please,” I beg her, my hands reaching up to her windowsill, asking for permission to enter her room. I watch the indecision flicker in her eyes, and it feels like a punch to the gut. “Please.”
Winnie steps back into her room, making room for me to slide through her window.
When I straighten to my full height, I’m able to take a look around her room for the first time.
Whenever I’ve visited the house, her parents only allow us in the living room and dining room, and when I pick her up, she usually sneaks down to me.
My eyes sweep her room, noticing the neutral-colored walls, the colorless bedspread, and her desk with neatly stacked books and notebooks on top.
Everything is plain, boring, and very unlike the girl who lives in it.
“Why are you here?” Winnie asks, pulling my attention back to her.
I take in her leggings, her bare feet, and notice for the first time that she’s wearing another of my hoodies.
My insides melt at the sight, and I want nothing more than to just hold her.
“I’m sorry, Winnie. I don’t know what I was thinking earlier tonight.
I made a mistake leaving here and letting you think I wanted to break up.
I didn’t. I don’t. I was just embarrassed and stupid. ”
Her shoulders visibly relax, but her teeth are still worrying her bottom lip. Her eyes deepen and fill with tears when my gaze meets her. “You really hurt me, Finn.”
“I know, Daisy, and I’m so sorry. It kills me knowing that I made you cry.
” I reach for her, unable to keep myself from touching her any longer.
My hands slide up her arms until they’re cradling her face.
“I never want to hurt you. I took my feelings of inadequacy out on you. I was so scared you were going to leave me after what happened and I panicked. I love you, Winnie. I love you more than anything.”
A small sob escapes her lips, and tears fall down her cheeks.
At the same time, her hands reach for me.
I waste no time in pulling her into me and dropping my lips to hers.
Her lips are warm and soft against mine.
It takes very little for me to coax them open and dip my tongue inside her mouth, tasting her fully.
She sighs into the kiss, and her arms wrap around my neck.
Everything inside me demands that I lower her to the bed and make love to her the way she deserves until I remember the new reasons why I no longer can.
Reluctantly and painfully, I end our kiss and pull back. “Win, I need to talk to you.”
Her eyes open, their brown depths are warm and heated. “Now? We can’t talk after?” Her lips quirk up in a smile, causing a rumble of laughter in my chest.
“I wish. It's important. I did something.”
The smile on her lips falters, and concern floods her features. “Tell me.”
I exhale, feeling the full weight of my decisions tonight.
As if sensing the storm brewing inside of me, Winnie takes my hand and leads me to the edge of her bed.
Once she’s sitting, I run my hand through my hair, gathering my thoughts.
“I went back home after dropping you off. I was just going to lock myself in my room and sleep it off. Except that Rose was still there. Declan had taken off and it was just me. She cornered me when I came in and demanded that I fix things. I told her I wouldn’t ever bring you there again.
She got my dad. They’d both been drinking more, and he was angry. ”
Her hand lifts, and her fingers touch the edge of my jaw where I can feel a bruise forming. “Oh my god, Finn.” Tears fill her eyes again. This time they’re for me.
“I’m okay. It looks worse than it feels,” I chuckle, but it's hollow. “I couldn’t stay there anymore, Winnie. I can’t let him think he can use you and your family through me. I can’t let him dictate my life and put his hands on me either. I packed a bag and snuck out.”
“Packed a bag?” Her brow rises. “Are you going to stay at Noah’s?”
My hands clasp in my lap, fingers twisting as doubt creeps in. I haven’t thought this through fully. I made a decision while I was hurt, running on adrenaline, and in fight or flight mode. “No,” I respond, turning to her and reaching for her hands.
Winnie’s hands clasp mine and she turns to face me. “I don’t understand.”
“I’m leaving, Winnie. I can’t stay in that house anymore. That town…” I shake my head, my eyes stinging.
“Where are you going?” she asks, her voice breaking.
“My mom has some family in Tennessee. One of my cousins said I could crash with him if I ever needed to, and I think I’m going to take him up on the offer.”
“Tennessee?” Her face pales, and her fingers tighten on mine. “What about school?”
“We only have a month until graduation, Win. I know I’m graduating. I don’t really care about the show of walking across a stage.” I shrug.
Her grip on my hands loosens around mine. “What about me?”
My heart thuds painfully in my chest. My hands grab onto hers, forcing her to look at me.
“I don’t want to leave you. Your grades are impeccable, Winnie.
You’re graduating, on your way out the door.
We could walk away from here together and start our next chapter in Tennessee.
Didn’t you just tell me that you weren’t sure about what you wanted to do?
We could do whatever we want. We’ll make the decisions.
We’re eighteen, Win. Your parents can’t stop you.
” I rush through the words, the speech I came up with on my way over when I realized I couldn’t leave her.
“I love you, Winnie. Will you please come with me?”
Winnie’s eyes widen, and her lips part. I can hear her thoughts spinning in her head while she stares at me.
I’m literally holding my breath waiting for her to answer, to make a decision that will affect the rest of my life.
I want to escape, but I need my girl by my side.
Winnie pulls back suddenly, her hands rubbing down her legs before she’s on her feet, pacing the room.
“This is crazy, Finn,” she mutters under her breath.
“I know.” I smile sadly at her, waiting for the rejection.
Waiting for her to ask me to leave. Because this is crazy.
I’m asking her to give up the comfort of everything she knows.
To leave behind the last month of school, her friends, and the memories of senior year that we won’t be part of. It's too much.
I make myself stand from her bed. I force myself to move toward her window. “You know I’ll always love you, right?”
Winnie whips around, her eyes clouding with confusion. “What are you doing?”
“I was just—”
“You better not be leaving without me. I just need to pack a few things.” Her brow lifts, and she reaches down by her desk to grab her backpack.
Realization slams into me, and I eat up the distance between us, grabbing her again and pulling her into my arms. “I promise you won’t regret it.”
“I’d never regret choosing you, Finn,” she promises, rising up on her toes and pressing her lips against mine. “Help me pack.”
We work to get her essential clothes into her bag as well as her wallet, laptop, and phone.
After she slips on her shoes, I watch as she writes a note to her parents, telling them she’s safe and that she’ll call them when we get to my extended family’s home.
With more courage than I feel, Winnie confidently leads me out of her window and back down the trellis.
Nothing about this feels real. I almost can’t believe that I’m getting it all.
Freedom and the love of a girl who holds my entire heart and soul in the palm of her hands.
Winnie doesn’t hesitate to climb on the bike behind me, her arms wrapping around my waist like she’s meant to. Like it's the most natural thing in the world. I turn to her, with her helmet in my hand. “I love you.”
“I love you too,” she says and takes the helmet, placing it over her head.
I grab mine as well and put it on before starting up the engine.
We drive out of her development and into town.
Buildings and lights flash by in a blur.
All I can think about is the new road, a fresh start in front of us.
I make a silent vow to the girl who trusts me with her heart and her life that one day I’ll make this up to her.
One day, I’ll be the man she deserves. And I’ll always be thankful that she saved me tonight.