Chapter 6 - Amber
Humming, Amber clipped a stem, which fell to the counter with a soft thump. The smells of a dozen different fragrant flowers wrapped around her. To some people, the scents might have been overpowering, tickling their noses. To her, they blended together in perfect harmony.
“Amber, can you help me with this?” Alex called from the doorway leading to the nursery’s outdoor section.
Amber twisted to look over at her coworker and smiled. “Be there in a sec!”
She turned back to the pile of flowers splayed out on the table in front of her, a mix of lilies and roses and tulips, mostly, with some amaryllis off to the side.
She clipped another stem and slid the flower to nestle in a vase amongst a tiny bouquet of color.
She adjusted a couple of flowers, tied a bow around the vase’s neck, then turned to walk outside to join Alex.
“I’m just having trouble figuring out where these go,” Alex said once Amber joined her, sounding more than a little sheepish. She gestured at the tiny pot with a succulent in her hand and blushed. “I know I should by now—”
“You’re fine,” Amber said. “Those go over at the far end. Second aisle. Here, I’ll show you.”
She guided Alex down the aisle, the two of them moving in companionable silence.
The scent of fresh soil surrounded them as the sun beat down.
Over the past few months of working here, Amber had learned more than she could have imagined about flowers and gardening.
She had been good enough at it to get a promotion in the short time she had been here.
“So I heard you got married a couple of days ago?” Alex asked once Amber had shown her the correct shelf
Amber stiffened. She forced a smile before turning toward Alex. “Yeah,” she said.
“Congratulations!” Alex said.
But Amber must not have seemed particularly enthused, because Alex’s smile died. “Or… not?” Alex said. “Sorry, I don’t really know why you look so morose about your own wedding.”
Because it wasn’t my choice, Amber thought, more than a little bitterly.
She had always imagined her wedding to be a small but intimate and meaningful affair, with a pretty dress and a wild party at the end.
She hadn’t expected to be dragged to the pack house and have a rather bemused and surprised alpha officiate a brief, bland ceremony.
Amber hadn’t missed the strange looks Camden had given Cillian. He made no secret that he was just as thrown off as Amber, but he didn’t ask questions, at least not in front of her. She just hoped that he would push Cillian about it later.
But trying to explain all of that right now would drag up painful thoughts of Eric. She could still feel her skin crawling sometimes, as if he was right behind her.
“I guess I’m still just a bit surprised about the whole thing,” she said, trying to sound chipper and friendly. “It’s a big adjustment, you know?”
“No kidding,” Alex said. “The entire pack is talking about it. No one saw it coming. How long have you two known one another?”
Amber bit back a sigh. Alex was sweet, if a little young and na?ve. She wasn’t going to chew her out over something that she couldn’t help. It wasn’t her fault that Cillian turned out to be a controlling asshole. A really hot one, but a controlling asshole nonetheless.
“Sometimes life takes strange turns,” she finally said with a forced smile. “Come on. I need some help with the roses. There are a few rough-looking ones we need to toss.”
Alex seemed to understand that the conversation was closed, so she nodded and followed Amber back inside.
***
Amber had lived in a cute two-bedroom apartment for years. She had grown used to its quirks, and she liked the smaller size.
Cillian’s house—now her house—was massive in comparison.
It was a tall two-story with dozens of rooms Cillian barely used, including a stunning kitchen and sprawling basement.
She wandered around it, feeling a bit like a pea rattling around in a can.
At the same time, there was something about it that she liked.
She couldn’t put her finger on what, but she couldn’t deny that she felt at ease there, despite the circumstances.
Those thoughts continued running through her head as she accidentally wandered into a spare bedroom, hunting for spare linens. Huffing when she found none, she turned and went back into the hall. She tried to remember the layout of the house, to map where she might be able to find them.
“Looking for something?”
She turned to see Cillian leaning against the wall, watching her, his head tilted.
“Trying to find the linen closet,” she said. She tried to ignore the fact that her heart beat faster when she saw him. She didn’t want to think about why that might be.
“Down the hall, second door on the right.”
She nodded and brushed past him, trying to ignore the fact that he smelled a little of leather. It made her heart beat even faster. She hurried down the hall, not missing that his footsteps were following her.
“Are you all right?” Cillian asked as she opened the drawer and pulled out a fresh set of sheets.
She frowned, tucking the soft sheets beneath her arm as she considered him. “Of course I’m all right. What are you talking about?”
“You just seem distracted, like there’s something bothering you.”
Her throat went dry. Most people couldn’t tell when she was upset. She put up her facade for a reason. But somehow, Cillian had recognized the signs. Had she been that terrible at hiding her emotions around him, or had he managed to see something that no one else could?
Either way, it didn’t matter. She wasn’t going to talk about it, and she certainly wasn’t going to talk about it with Cillian, the man who had forced her to marry him.
“Everything is fine,” she said, forcing a smile. “Just had a long day at work, that’s all.”
He scrutinized her again. That stare seemed to pin her. What was it about him and that look that made her entire body heat and her heart pound? She certainly shouldn’t be this wildly attracted to him. She coughed and turned away, hoping that he could see her flush.
“If you’re sure,” he said.
“I’m sure,” she responded, perhaps a little more curtly than normal.
Inside, though, there was another squirm of discomfort.
She wasn’t used to someone peering through the barriers that she had meticulously built.
It showed there were cracks when she had assumed her shield was solid. It made her feel vulnerable.
Coughing again, she twisted away from him to fidget with her shirt, not wanting him to see that he had unsettled her.
“How do you like your job, anyway?” Cillian asked, almost as if he could sense her unease and embarrassment.
The question took her by surprise. Most of the other men in her life hadn’t cared one way or another about how she felt about her work, as long as she kept bringing money in. She chewed her lip, a blush crawling over her face despite her best efforts.
“I like it,” she finally said. “I’ve always liked plants.”
“Better than the library?” he asked. “You used to work there, right?”
She gave him a peculiar look. Once again, she wasn’t used to any guy caring about any of this. None of her boyfriends or partners had bothered to ask about any part of her life. It took her a minute to figure out how she wanted to respond.
“It’s different,” she said. “I loved working at the library, but I needed a change of pace, and I’ve always wanted to learn about plants and horticulture. So, when the job opened up, I jumped at it. Didn’t ever expect to get the position.”
“It seems to suit you,” he remarked.
“I miss the books, though,” she said, surprising even herself. Again, a flush crept over her face despite herself. It was such an innocuous thing to say. Why did she feel so embarrassed by it? “It was nice getting to be around them all the time.”
“You’re a reader, then?”
Amber nodded, shifting from foot to foot, that sense of unease and bashfulness only growing. Why? What was it that made her so uncomfortable talking about innocuous things with him? It came easy with her friends, like Izzie, Dana, and Nikki. Even Alex. Why was it so much harder with Cillian?
“What do you like about it?” he asked.
She studied him, hunting for some sort of hint or trick. He couldn’t seriously be interested, but there was nothing but earnest sincerity in his face. She glanced away before speaking.
“I like the escapism,” she said. “It’s nice being able to turn off my brain and let it go somewhere else for a few hours. I like the different worlds.”
He nodded as if in understanding. A silence lingered between them, both of them studying the other, unsure what to do.
“What about you?” she asked, blurting out the question despite herself. She didn’t want to know the answer. She didn’t want to get to know him better. This jerk had forced her to marry him against her will. That was all she needed to know about him.
Cillian scratched his chin. She tried not to notice the way his muscles rippled with the casual gesture.
She briefly wondered what it would feel like to run her hands along them, whether the rest of his body was covered in tattoos like his arm, and whether the rest of him was as carefully sculpted as his biceps.
She shoved the thoughts down, gritting her teeth. She wasn’t going to let her mind run wild like that. She wasn’t going to start down that road, no matter how badly part of her wanted to.
Mercifully, he spoke before her imagination got too out of control. She dragged herself back to reality.
Shouldn’t even be thinking about that in the first place, she scolded herself. Not after everything he’s done to you.
“Not much of a reader,” he admitted. “I like hiking, and I enjoy being outdoors. Truth be told, I’ve never been much for being stationary. Don’t have the patience for it.”
Somehow, that didn’t surprise her in the least. She nodded, her lip twitching upward.
“What do you have the patience for?” she asked.
Cillian considered her for a long moment, then a wicked smirk spread across his face, his eyes sparkling. Heat flushed through her, and it took more effort than she cared to admit to keep his gaze.
“Plenty of things,” he said. “Usually the type of thing that’s better with another person.”
It didn’t take a genius to know exactly what he meant, and a brief jolt of electricity shot through her. She tried to keep her expression neutral as her mind pictured being beneath him amongst tangled bedsheets, his lips trailing across her skin.
She pulled herself out of those thoughts. She wasn’t going to let herself entertain those sorts of ideas. He had forced her to marry him. That was the end of the story. She wasn’t about to forgive him just because she found him attractive, or because he’d made her laugh on a couple of occasions.
“I’ve, um, got to go,” she said, jabbing her thumb toward the stairs, unable to look at him any further. “Things I need to take care of.”
Before he could do anything other than nod, she darted up the stairs, not quite breaking into an all-out sprint, but close enough.
Amber had insisted on a separate room when he had forced her to move in. After a little reluctance, he’d agreed. When she entered, she closed the door and leaned against the wall, staring into the room.
Get a grip, she ordered herself. No matter what, she wasn’t going to let Cillian in, not after everything he’d done.
She tried not to wonder why that promise felt so hollow.