23. 23 MCKENNA
23 MCKENNA
Bile rises in my throat as I reach the door of Club Lust. When Adrian purchased me for the auction, I only wanted to be free of him. But I never imagined I’d feel like I’ve lost my soulmate.
I’m sniffling back tears but trying to hide them as the woman who escorted me to my dressing room the night of the auction smiles at me.
“Hello Davis! Are you all right?”
“Yes,” I struggle with my bag, tripping. I reach down and fix my shoe, pretending that’s why I tripped. But it’s because I feel disconnected from my body.
For a fistful of moments, I had hope of a future. A future that featured Adrian.
I thought the plans he laid out before meant that he wanted to be with me. I foolishly thought those plans meant he’d forgiven my father.
I thought because Adrian loved me, my future was brighter not only for me but for my father.
Tears slide down my face because I can’t hold them back.
“Did everything go smoothly?”
“Yes.”
“Good,” she smiles at me and I notice Edward with the big security guys, Dwayne and Robert, talking to a skinny woman. “You seem upset. If you were treated unfairly, please tell me.”
I wipe the tears that are streaming down my face away and force myself to smile.
“I’m relieved that it’s over. I’m ready to move on.”
She reaches out and squeezes my arm. “Good. Can I get you a town car?”
“Yes, please. I need to go home.”
The din of the club pounds in my ears, the music from the main space, and the conversation crowds me and I need to be out of here.
I remember how there was an air of excitement in Club Lust on auction night, but now I feel wooden and I don’t want to be somewhere I don’t belong.
I’m escorted to the car, my bag loaded for me in the trunk, and I rest my head against the seat, trying to block out the memories of this weekend.
But everything I did with Adrian races through my head and my stomach twists.
In the heat of the moment, the pleasure that rolled through my veins like syrup was enough to keep me from analyzing any of it.
That I held his cock in my mouth because I was ordered to. That I licked his shoes because that was what I had agreed to.
I touch my jaw and remember the gag in my mouth.
My stomach lurches.
I’m not going to feel ashamed of what I did. The car rolls through the nicer parts of the city to the abandoned buildings and the street where my mother and I have lived all these months.
Police sirens sing out in the night, and I force myself to take a deep breath as the car stops at my building. The driver opens my door. I force myself to smile. “Thank you.”
I wait on the cracked sidewalk as he gets my bag. Candy bar wrappers flutter around my feet. I step back into a puddle of something sticky. There isn’t a single horse in sight.
“Here you are, Miss,” the driver says.
I grasp the handle of my bag, turn and make my way into the apartment, pushing down all the heartbreak I feel. Because I have to check in with my mother.
And tomorrow I’ll have the money.
My throat goes dry. I know it’s worth it, it’s still worth it, but I don’t feel as elated as I thought I would. I feel sore in every part of my body and heavy, as if I have stones on my feet.
“Mckenna?” my mother calls out as I open the door.
“I’m here.” I step into our tiny apartment, kick off my shoes, set my bag down.
I’m going to call a real estate agent first thing in the morning. I’m going to get boxes and start packing anything that we want to take with us. I’m going to move my mother and me out of here and find Penelope.
“You were out?” My mother comes into the small hallway, a gold necklace in her hands.
“Yes, but I’m back now. Is that my necklace?”
She extends me the gold chain, the rose pendant dangles from it. “I found it in the bathroom.”
I take it from her and clasp it in my hand. I don’t know how it got in the bathroom, but I’m happy to hold it now. Then it brings back Adrian’s interrogation scene.
Is it possible my father wrote something in some kind of nanotechnology on this little chain? I hold it up to the light that’s coming in from the windows, but I can’t make anything out.
It’s only a chain, a reminder of how I was loved once and my life was carefree.
“You look tired, Mom.” I sling my arm around her gingerly, wondering if she’s going to pull away from my touch.
She pats my hand and we walk the few steps to the bedroom. “I wondered where you were.”
“I was visiting friends,” I said.
“Did you have a nice time?” My mother flicks on the small light beside her bed and I pull down the blankets.
As if it’s from outside of me, a feeling of excitement hangs in the air. I will tell her that I have the money to move us out of here tomorrow, but it’s like I can’t feel the implication of that because all I want to do is cry my eyes out.
“It was a good time. You were all right?”
“I’m fine, Mckenna.” My mom closes her eyes. “Your father didn’t think I was going to be fine, but we’ve done all right, haven’t we?”
“Couldn’t have done any better,” I force the words out. “Goodnight.”
“Night. Mckenna.” Her voice sounds old and my heart twists at the loss of hearing her bright laughter.
I make my way to the couch, pulling the old comforter down. Too tired to change, I lie down, but can’t sleep.
The tears leak out of my eyes and I can’t stop them.
It’s true what they say about money and happiness. But it’s a lot easier to live with money than without it. The same can be said for love and I don’t know how I am going to make my dreams come true with my heart in pieces.