22. Elena
ELENA
A cramp in my lower back woke me up in the morning. It was earlier than I usually got up. Not enough light was coming in through the curtains in the bedroom.
As I sat up in bed?—
Wait.
No.
I wasn’t in bed.
Blinking my eyes faster and clearing the sleep from my mind as I fully woke up, I realized I wasn’t even in my bedroom upstairs.
Oh.
I groaned as I gave up on sitting. Sliding back down to the floor, I let out a deep exhale at the discovery that I was still down here. Near the front door. Barely inside and through the living room off the entryway to the house.
That was why my back ached. Sleeping on the hard surface of the floor would put anyone into an awkward mess. While the carpet was thick and soft, it didn’t rival a mattress.
Yet, I wasn’t naked and sprawled out like this.
A blanket from the couch had been draped over me.
I fingered the edge of it, tugging it up to cover my bare body.
It was actually two. Both of the casual throws from the living room furniture had been placed over me.
A pillow lay next to my head, and I realized he must have had the foresight to plop that down for me too.
But he’d left.
I lay there for a long while, listening carefully and straining to hear if there were any sounds in the house. I waited for a clue—any clue—that Adrik hadn’t literally left me here. Lying on the floor.
Sure, the blankets and the pillow were sweet. But as far as caring about me and my comfort?
Stop, El.
Keep yourself in check.
He still doesn’t care.
I stared at the ceiling and let that fact percolate into my brain. It just wasn’t sticking, but the more I repeated it, it had to stick sooner or later.
Adrik Volkov did not care. He wasn’t in the business of comforting me after fucking me so hard. He didn’t have the mindset to see to my needs after having sex with me. Because to him, it was just something to do. A physical release. An impulse we were both wired to obey.
Why does it have to hurt?
I so badly wanted him to give a damn about me . Not his ability to fuck me so hard and good that I could have sworn I’d died and gone to heaven. But to care about me and how I felt and was doing.
It stung, because I had gotten my hopes up against my wishes and wanted to matter to him.
But that pain was only my fault. I could simply blame myself for thinking he had feelings for me.
I’m just his possession.
Something handed over to him all so my father could avoid being punished for that account being screwed up.
Last night, with his ferocious need to fuck me, it seemed like Adrik wanted to prove that I was his conquest. His victory, somehow.
You can’t deny that you loved it, though.
I did. I wholeheartedly enjoyed the experience of him being so hard with me.
It wasn’t rough, like when he’d taken me over that desk, but he wasn’t soft.
Gruffly tender. That was Adrik Volkov, and that happened to be exactly what turned me on and made me wild for more.
My experience with orgasms—with men in general—was lacking.
Adrik was all I knew. But he was already all I wanted to know, too.
Quit overthinking it.
I cringed as I sat up again.
It’s just sex.
Maybe he saw it as another way to dominate over me or something.
It’s on you to stop getting feelings for him and making this seem like something more than it actually is.
Sliding my feet up so I could get on my haunches and then stand, I furrowed my brow at how easy it was to move my legs apart.
That night when he’d taken me on the desk in the office, I’d been so sticky.
It wasn’t easy to run away, wipe the cum away, and still cover myself up.
But I’d noticed, obviously, how sticky it was.
Of course, it was. Yet, right now, as I prepared to get up, I had to acknowledge that I felt clean. At least I was wiped clean.
I paused for a moment, mulling over the possibility that Adrik had wiped me off. That he’d wanted to linger long enough to clean me up after I’d clearly passed out. I must have embarrassingly dozed off right after I’d come with him.
He cleaned me up.
Which is… nice.
It’s a sweet gesture.
Frowning at the blanket, I reminded myself of the facts I had to stick by.
It’s a sweet gesture, but that doesn’t mean he’s sweet on me.
Tired of the mental acrobatics I was giving myself, I stood and went to shower. Unlike the last time I’d taken him, I didn’t necessarily feel dirty . Regret was harder to find and cling to as I stood in the shower and let the hot water massage me.
But there wasn’t a chance in hell that I could view what happened last night as a step forward to answers. No clarity was provided.
He’d shown up. I’d directly asked him what he wanted. When I worried that question was still too vague, I asked what he wanted from me .
I thought he’d muttered something, but it was too quiet for me to understand. The next second? He was on me, blowing my mind and making me rabid for him to fill me with his erection that prodded at my stomach.
Of course, he didn’t answer me.
He is the boss. He holds the power.
And I had to come to terms with the fact that I would never have the bond of love or earnest affection over him.
By the time I prepared myself to face him, dressed in what I considered a simple, professional-chic outfit, I felt slightly calmer. Not relaxed or confident, but saner to be near him for another workday.
Because now I knew what to expect.
He’d be indifferent, like last time.
He’d be cool and aloof, like last time.
If he couldn’t want to linger and stay with me after we’d had sex again, there was no room to hope that he’d want to be with me in any other fashion.
Hot. Then cold.
Close. Then distant.
It was a pattern I didn’t care for, but with the reminder that I wasn’t here to determine how things could be between us, it seemed wiser to fall into line and accept his expectations.
When I left the house, I paused at the front door.
I hoped this wouldn’t be a habit, this hesitation to fully step out with the worry that another intruder could be watching me and waiting to get to me.
No one came close, though. Within my line of sight, pairs of guards patrolled along the property.
See?
Everything is as it should be.
I drew in a deep breath and resumed walking over the threshold where Adrik had shown up last night so unexpectedly but clearly with one thing on his mind. Thinking back to that rabid need in his eyes distracted me from glancing at where the blood stains were.
And as I allowed myself the guilty pleasure of thinking back to how much he’d worshiped my body, I gave in to a little pride. A bit of glee.
He could have any woman in the world, but he had wanted me .
He could’ve been anywhere else on Earth these past few days to be with any other woman, but he’d come back here and had wanted me ?—
Oh.
I frowned as I walked over. The sun wasn’t up so high that it was unbearably hot, but my cheeks turned warm anyway.
With embarrassment again.
And a side of worry.
He didn’t use a condom last night either.
I didn’t even think of it.
I mean, in my defense, I wasn’t thinking at all once he kissed me.
But, dammit.
Nervous about whether he was clean and what the chances were that he could knock me up, I tried to shove my thoughts aside.
I needed to have a “game face” on when I walked inside.
Adrik would be here, and I had to show him that I was able to do this… whatever this was, this intense need to fuck each other with no strings attached.
As soon as I entered the main house and began to walk toward the stairs, I heard his loud footsteps as he crossed the foyer.
He was coming from the end of the mansion where the kitchen was, seeming to chase me.
“Elena.”
Well, this is new.
He was pursuing me, not ignoring me.
I spun, wondering if things would be different this time the morning after. His tone was gruff, but that was typical of him.
The second I saw his face, though, etched in a thunderous glower, I knew I was once again wishing for the impossible.
“Good morning,” I greeted, unsure what to call him or what to say.
Alexei and Maksim walked with him. Their faces were just as stony and their gazes were equally flinty.
“ Good morning?” Adrik relied tersely. He sneered, shaking his head as he set his hands on his hips. It looked like a power move, but I wasn’t sure what to fear from him. He didn’t have to try to intimidate me. He just was a force of nature that could ruin me.
“No?” I guessed.
Crap. What’s wrong? What did I do? What happened now?
Oh!
“Did someone try to break in again?”
Oh, God. If they came to the guest house, I was right there near the front door. Lying naked and within easy reach!
“No. No one tried to break in again,” he shot back.
I exhaled in relief. It was something else, then.
“We’ve received news from some of our spies in the region. And I’ve received word from one of the techs Sacha supervises.”
Sacha? He had seemed so unenthusiastic about life in general at first when I’d met him, but after working with him and Igor for a few days, I realized he was a solid guy. Easy to get along with.
“News has come that your father is attempting to flee.”
I blinked once, letting his words sink in. “My… father?”
In the almost two months since I’d been here, I hadn’t given him much thought. Actually, that wasn’t true. I had thought about him when I tried to figure out who he could’ve hired to replace me. I had been overseeing the Volkov accounts without him knowing, but no word had come from him.
I never could tell if he was aware of me still logging in from another address. The security of the accounting program was good, but the Volkovs had a way around it.
“He’s trying to run away?” I asked, hating how stupid I sounded.
He nodded. “Which only confirms he has been two-timing us with our accounts.”
“Well, not really.”
He narrowed his eyes, looking downright furious.
“No!” I held my hands up. “I’m not trying to defend him!
It’s just that since you have me working here, with you, I can directly stop any interference on your accounts.
” I winced. “I’m not saying he or someone isn’t trying to two-time you or mess with the finances at the firm.
Clearly, someone was. Or is. But I was correcting it before anything bad could happen. ”
“That’s correct,” he replied. “But it seems that whoever he has been scheming with is no longer satisfied with your overriding their actions. He’s trying to take off and leave the country to hide.”
Hide?
Someone would only escape the country and hide if they were actually guilty of doing something bad.
And he had. I’d known my father to be an associate with criminals since the day I understood that the accounting he wanted me to do was for bad people.
But I’d never tried to lie about it. I’d never known names, only been provided with numbers.
He knew, though. He’d always been aware of which criminal organizations wanted his services.
He lied to me.
He lied to all the Volkovs.
As I thought back to the morning when he told me that I was being handed over to this family, he’d mentioned a situation being changed.
Because he was up to something.
He was trying to do something dangerous or wrong, something that impacted the Volkovs.
I swallowed hard, hating the churning disgust in my stomach and the anxiety that made my skin tingle with the sensation of being too tight.
As I gazed up at Adrik, I sank to a deeper and hotter—and lower—level of hatred. I hated that I was associated with a man like my father at all.
I’d told Adrik that I was just Elena. I’d refused to see myself as Elena Morovov from the day my father gave me up.
But I wasn’t a Volkov either. I was still just Adrik’s thing . Without knowing if I could fully belong with this Mafia family as more than something they owned, I wasn’t sure how I could avoid the stigma of once having been my father’s daughter.
Please… know that I’m not against you.
I have done nothing but be loyal.
To you.
To the idea of us , no matter how silly I am to think like that.
With one more scathing scowl, Adrik shook his head and walked past me, convincing me that my best bet was to stay out of his way while he was forced to react to this news about my father.