Chapter 5 #2
I stay there long enough to feel her pulse against my chest. Long enough for the heat between us to become weight. Then I pull out of her, reach up, and untie her wrists. I don't move away. I shift onto my side, propped on an elbow, and watch her.
She curls onto her side, facing away from me, pulling her knees to her chest. A single, silent tear escapes and traces a path down her temple into her hair. She doesn't make a sound.
The tear is more damning than any accusation. I won, but I lost.
The tear track is a dark line against her skin. The faint red marks my stubble left on her shoulder. The way her spine curves away from me.
Something breaks behind my ribs. Not guilt. Worse. The gut-level knowledge that I miscalculated. I wanted to break her defiance, not the woman herself. Now, I can't tell the difference. The cost is curled right in front of me, refusing to cry out loud.
I shove the thought down. Useless. I don't reach for her.
My phone buzzes on the nightstand—brutal and unwelcome. I grab it before it can sound again. Viktor's name flashes on the screen.
I answer, my voice low and rough. "What?"
Jana flinches at the sound of my voice, curling tighter.
"Volodymyr." Viktor's voice is all business. "He's making threats. Talking to people he shouldn't be, asking questions about our operations."
I stare at Jana's bare back, at the marks I left on her shoulder. "Let him talk. Dogs bark."
"He's not just barking, Rafail. I reviewed the books. He's been skimming. Two hundred thousand over the last six months." A pause. "You let him live. That's not a mistake you usually make."
Volodymyr bleeding on the floor. Jana's wide eyes. The relief on her face when I spared him. I let him live because killing him in front of her might have destroyed something inside of her. Now I've broken it myself, anyway.
"Your recommendation?" I ask in a flat voice. Because trying to figure out the next best strategic move is too much fucking trouble when she’s cracking.
"Turn Maxim loose. Permanently. Send a message that skimming from Ismailov operations gets you buried." Viktor's tone sharpens. "This is about the girl, isn't it? You let him live because you didn't want her to see you kill him."
My jaw clamps. "My reasons are my own."
"Right." He doesn't believe me. "Well, now we have a strategic reason to end him. The longer we wait, the bolder he gets. He's already talking. Next he'll act."
I look at Jana, still silent, still turned away from me. A woman I've known for two days. A woman I just took with the same brutality I'd use on an enemy. A woman who is the reason a threat to my organization is still breathing.
"Keep eyes on him," I say, already done with this conversation. "If he moves from threats to action, we respond. Until then, let him bark."
"You're going soft," Viktor says. Not an accusation. A fact. "When this bites us in the ass, I'm going to say I told you so."
He disconnects. I drop the phone and the silence returns, heavier than before.
I taught him that attachment is weakness. And here I am, letting a man who stole from me keep breathing because killing him might upset a woman who could possibly hate me.
***
Hours later, she's in the library, curled in a leather chair, staring out the window. She's wearing one of my shirts—sleeves rolled up, hem falling to her mid-thigh. A textbook sits open on her lap. She's not reading.
I don't speak from the doorway. I cross the room and stand before her. She doesn't look up. I cage her in the chair, my hands on the armrests, leaning over her. You wanted to save your grandmother. Make her final days more comfortable. I respect that."
Her throat works on a swallow. "Um, okay."
My hand finds her thigh under the shirt, my thumb stroking the sensitive skin there.
She flinches but doesn't pull away. "But this doesn’t have to be painful.
Something about you intrigued me from the first moment I saw you.
I saw a woman willing to give up anything, even her own morality to save her family.
" I continue working her, while I speak. “I don’t see us as so very different. So, I propose a new bargain.”
She's breathing faster now, her body remembering while her mind is trying to negotiate. "What," she whispers. "What do you want," she writhes against my hand.
“Let me show you what sex can be. Let me take you places you’ve only imagined or read about in a book. Can I do that?”
She doesn’t answer. She only closes her thighs, trapping me. But I want the words so I freeze. Her eyes fly to mine and I wait until she nods.
"Good." I slide my hand higher, my fingers pressing the damp heat between her legs and pushing her panties aside. She gasps, her eyes fluttering shut. "There’s just one other thing, I want from you. Can you give it?"
"I don't… please…" She’s crying again, but these tears I don’t mind.
"Trust." I lean in, my voice low against her ear. "That’s what I want. You belong to me for the rest of our time and you trust me."
"Trust," she chokes out. "Is that it?"
"Yes. And do you know why?"
"It's priceless," she whispers, as her body tenses.
"Exactly." I thrust my hand higher and rotate her clit, pushing her higher up that mountain. "Remember that. It's the only part of this arrangement that matters." I tell her before I give one last thrust, and swallow her orgasm in my kiss.
***
Viktor and Daniil appear at my home. "Gentlemen," I greet them, leading them into the kitchen where Jana and I were having a meal. Viktor's eyes move over the scene, his expression unreadable. Daniil glances from her to me, a knowing smirk touching his lips before he erases it.
"Volodymyr situation is contained," Viktor reports, his gaze fixed on Jana. "Eyes on him around the clock."
I nod, then gesture for them to follow me out into the garden. As we walk down the hall, Viktor falls into step beside me.
"You're getting attached," he says, his voice low.
"I'm aware."
"Attachments make you vulnerable. They make you let men who steal from you keep breathing." He glances back toward the library. "When her contract ends. You'll have to decide: let her go, or find a way to keep her that doesn't make you into your father."
The word hangs in the air between us. Trap.
"I'm not my father," I say. The words taste like a lie.
"No. He would have just taken what he wanted without caring," Viktor agrees. "You're better than that. Just make sure you remember it when you start building her cage."
They leave me alone in the hall. I'm already planning how to keep her. Already calculating what it would take to make her choose to stay, what it would take to bind her to me so tightly she never even thinks of leaving.
I look back at the library door. I broke her today. Took from her until nothing was left but the raw, shaking truth of my possession.
And I know, with a certainty that chills me to the bone, that I'll do it again.
I'm not becoming someone different for her. I'm becoming exactly the monster I always knew I was. And now I have to figure out how to chain her to my side before she realizes she needs to run.