Proposal and engagement
Rivan was about to say something.
Instead...
His words disappeared.
His smile slowly faded as his eyes remained fixed on hers.
Those familiar eyes.
The same eyes that had once looked at him with heartbreak.
The same eyes that had cried because of him.
The same eyes that had somehow found the strength to love him again.
A thousand memories crashed into him all at once.
The silence.
The papers.
The day she walked away.
The empty house that had followed.
The loneliness.
The regret.
His breathing became uneven.
His chest tightened until it almost hurt.
The joy of the proposal was suddenly overshadowed by the weight of everything he had once destroyed.
Without warning, he pulled her into a fierce embrace.
So tight it almost stole her breath.
His arms locked around her as though he feared she might disappear if he loosened them even slightly.
Devyani blinked in surprise.
"Pati ji...?"
She felt his breathing.
Fast.
Heavy.
Almost shaking.
His heart pounded violently against hers.
He buried his face into the crook of her neck and closed his eyes.
When he finally spoke...
His voice trembled.
"...Are you sure?"
She frowned.
He swallowed hard.
"...Are you sure you want to marry me..."
His grip tightened.
"...again?"
The last word barely escaped his lips.
Devyani slowly leaned back just enough to see his face.
His eyes were glassy.
Lost.
Terrified.
She smiled gently.
"Yes."
Without hesitation.
"I'm sure."
He shook his head.
"No..."
His voice cracked.
"You don't understand."
Another shaky breath escaped him.
"I..."
He couldn't even look at her anymore.
"I'm a very bad husband, Devyani."
The confession sounded like something he had been carrying alone for years.
"I failed you."
"I hurt you."
"I broke the one person who loved me the most."
His hands trembled visibly.
"What if..."
He laughed bitterly at himself.
"What if I fail you again?"
"What if I hurt you again?"
"What if one day..."
His voice disappeared.
"What if I become that man again?"
Tears spilled freely down his face.
"I don't know if I deserve another chance."
"I don't know if I deserve you."
Before another word could leave his mouth...
Devyani gently lifted her hand.
Her fingertips rested softly against his lips.
"Shhh..."
Her voice was barely above a whisper.
"Don't."
She shook her head slowly.
"Why are you torturing yourself with ghosts?"
He closed his eyes.
Another tear escaped.
The next moment...
He did something she never expected.
He slowly let go of her.
Then...
He dropped to his knees.
Not to propose.
Not this time.
His arms wrapped around her waist, and he rested his forehead against her stomach, holding her as though she were the only thing keeping him together.
Devyani froze.
A shiver ran through her entire body.
Rivan...
The man who never let anyone see him vulnerable...
The man who carried every burden in silence...
The man who always stood tall no matter how broken he felt...
Was breaking apart in her arms.
She instinctively slid her fingers into his hair.
He clung to her tighter.
His shoulders trembled.
"I never said sorry."
His voice came out muffled against her.
"I never apologized."
A painful silence followed.
"I should have."
"So many times."
His breathing became ragged.
"I'm sorry..."
He stopped.
As though even saying the words hurt.
"I'm sorry for sending you away."
His grip tightened around her.
"I'm sorry..."
"...for signing those divorce papers."
His voice completely broke.
"I'm sorry for making you believe..."
"...that you weren't enough."
A sob escaped him.
"You were never the problem."
"I was."
"I was too blind..."
"Too proud..."
"Too angry..."
He closed his eyes tighter.
"And by the time I realized what I'd done..."
"I had already shattered the person I was supposed to protect."
His tears soaked into the fabric of her dress.
"I can't erase those days."
"I can't undo the pain I caused you."
"I can't give you back the nights you cried because of me."
He let out a broken breath.
"But if there's one thing I can do..."
He hugged her a little tighter.
"...it's spend every single day for the rest of my life proving that the man who hurt you..."
He looked up at her with tear-filled eyes.
"...is not the man who stands before you now."
Rivan stayed on his knees, his arms still wrapped around her waist as though letting go would undo everything they had rebuilt.
His forehead rested against her stomach.
He closed his eyes.
When he spoke again, his voice was hoarse, every word carrying the weight of two years he had never talked about.
"D... Devyani..."
He struggled to even say her name.
"There is something I've wanted to tell you for so long."
His fingers tightened around the fabric of her dress.
"You think I divorced you because I stopped loving you."
He shook his head slowly.
"It was never that."
"It could never be that."
A bitter smile crossed his lips.
"The truth is..."
"...giving you that divorce felt like the only option I had left."
Devyani's breath caught.
He continued before she could interrupt.
"Every day... I watched you."
"I watched your entire world become smaller and smaller."
"It scared me."
"You revolved around me."
His voice cracked.
"So much that... somewhere along the way..."
"...there was no 'you' anymore."
He finally looked up at her.
"You forgot yourself."
"You lived for my schedule."
"My happiness."
"My moods."
His eyes filled again.
"And I hated myself for letting that happen."
He looked away, unable to bear the pain in her expression.
"I kept asking myself..."
'If one day I'm gone... what will happen to her?'
"Would she know how to live without me?"
"Would she know who she was without being Mrs. Rivan?"
The questions had haunted him for months.
"I wanted you to discover the woman you were before you became my wife."
"I wanted you to know that your identity was never meant to end at my name."
His breathing grew uneven again.
"So I thought..."
"If I stepped out of your life..."
"...maybe you'd finally step into your own."
He laughed bitterly.
"It sounded noble in my head."
"But in reality..."
"It was the cruelest thing I've ever done."
A tear rolled down his face.
"I sent you to London because I wanted you to see a world beyond the haveli."
"Beyond those walls."
"Beyond that one room where your entire life had been confined."
"I wanted you to travel."
"To study."
"To make mistakes."
"To meet people."
"To laugh without looking at me for permission."
"To become... you."
His voice lowered into a whisper.
"But I also knew something."
"If I asked you to leave..."
"...you never would."
"You would've stayed."
"For me."
"And I never wanted your life to become another sacrifice made in my name."
He swallowed painfully.
"So I chose the hardest path."
"I made you hate me."
"I signed the divorce papers."
"I became the villain in your story."
"Because I thought..."
"If you hated me enough..."
"You'd finally choose yourself."
Silence settled around them.
Only their quiet breathing filled the room.
Then he spoke again.
"So when the time came..."
"I didn't ask you to marry me again."
His eyes searched hers.
"Because I never wanted to trap you in my love."
"If you ever came back to me..."
"It had to be because you chose me."
"Not because you felt guilty."
"Not because of family."
"Not because of promises."
"But because, after seeing the whole world..."
"...you still wanted to spend your life with me."
His voice broke completely.
"That choice..."
"...had to belong only to you."
A sob escaped him.
"And then..."
"The two years."
He closed his eyes tightly.
"They were..."
"...the longest years of my life."
He laughed bitterly through tears.
"Everyone thinks I stayed away because it was easy."
"It wasn't."
"It killed me."
"Every..."
"Single..."
"Day."
His breathing became ragged.
"Do you know how many times I picked up my phone?"
"How many times I dialed number?"
"How many times my thumb hovered over the call button?"
"I lost count."
His hand instinctively curled into a fist.
"But I could never press it."
His voice trembled.
"Not because I didn't want to hear your voice."
He smiled sadly.
"That was exactly the problem."
"If I heard you say 'Hello'..."
"I would've been on the next flight."
"I would've come running to you."
"I would've begged you to come home."
"I would've destroyed everything I wanted for you."
Another tear escaped.
"So every night..."
"I opened your contact."
"I looked at your name."
"I imagined your voice."
"And then..."
"I put the phone back down."
He laughed at himself.
His shoulders trembled.
"There were nights I drove to the airport."
"I even booked tickets."
"I sat there for hours."
"And at the last moment..."
"I cancelled everything."
"Because I kept asking myself..."
'If I go now... am I bringing her back because she wants to come... or because I can't bear being without her?'
"I was terrified that my loneliness would steal your freedom."
He looked up at her again, utterly shattered.
"So I stayed away."
"Not because I stopped loving you."
"But because I loved you enough to let you become someone beyond me."
His voice dropped to almost nothing.
"But God..."
He laughed weakly, tears streaming down his face.
"It was torture."
"How was I supposed to breathe knowing you were thousands of miles away?"
"How was I supposed to sleep without wondering if you'd eaten?"
"If you were sick..."
"If you were lonely..."
"If someone had hurt you..."
"How was I supposed to simply visit you..."
"...hold you..."