Chapter 8 Grayson
GRAYSON
Grayson pulled up on Park Avenue ten minutes early, with Leo fussing in his car seat.
“You’re okay, buddy,” Grayson told him calmly.
But he might as well be talking to himself. Leo did not like the car seat.
There were more errands Grayson could have run, but he had wanted to be back early so Evangeline wouldn’t worry that he had abandoned her.
And he found that he was actually looking forward to seeing her.
She works for you, he reminded himself.
But somehow he felt the same anticipation he would if he were about to see a long-lost friend.
A long-lost friend I saw two hours ago…
Getting out of the car, he was amazed to find that Evangeline was already there waiting.
He hadn’t recognized her when he’d pulled up.
She was sitting at one of the café tables outside the bakery, wearing a pretty red coat, with shopping bags surrounding her.
She almost looked like a princess with her dreamy expression and the bright colorful clothing that was such a contrast to that oversized leather jacket she had been wearing when they met.
“Hi,” she said with the same shy smile as before.
Belatedly, he realized he’d been staring at her.
“Hey,” he said gruffly. “I can bring Leo out if you want to finish up.”
“No, no,” she told him quickly, hopping out of her chair. “I was just waiting for you. I didn’t want to be late.”
“Got you something,” Grayson said, pulling the prepaid phone he’d picked up for her out of his pocket and handing it to her.
Evangeline’s face went soft and he saw something flash in her eyes.
Relief?
“Thank you so much,” she told him, hugging the little phone to her chest. “I wanted to buy one, but they don’t sell them in town.”
“I know,” he said gruffly. “I figured I need you to have one, so I might as well buy it. I got it charged up in the car and there are plenty of minutes on it. Should be just fine for now.”
“Thank you,” she said again. “For this and for the clothing. You’re a good man.”
Her eyes were wet with unshed tears and his heart ached so much that he had to look away from her.
“No problem,” he told her. “We should get a move on since Leo’s in the car. He’s a little fussy. He really doesn’t like the car. But hopefully he’ll go to sleep once we drive for a few minutes.”
“Oh,” she said, her face brightening. “I got him something.”
“You did?” he asked her.
His heart warmed at the idea that she had been thinking of Leo even when she had to do practical shopping for herself.
“It’s nothing,” she said quickly. “Just something small for the car.”
She pulled something out of one of the bags that flashed a reflection in the sunlight.
“It’s a mirror,” she explained. “Can I put it in there for him?”
“Of course,” Grayson said, opening the back door for her.
The sound of Leo’s unhappy whimpers twisted his heart.
“Hi, Leo,” Evangeline said softly. “I’m so sorry you have to be in the car right now. We’ll be home soon.”
The boy went silent for a moment, as if considering.
“I have something for you,” she continued. “Maybe it will seem interesting.”
“I’ll just get your things,” Grayson told her, busying himself carrying her shopping bags to the back of the SUV and tucking them all safely into place so they wouldn’t tip over.
She had certainly bought enough stuff. The ladies at Pura Vida would appreciate it. He knew they did a lot of business in the summer and at Christmas, but right now they were probably hoping to move some of their fall inventory. Still, it was a lot.
He could certainly afford it though, and he couldn’t argue that she looked beautiful in her new clothes. He thought fondly to himself about buying her more nice things, and then winced.
She wasn’t here to model cute outfits for him. She was here to take care of Leo, and he’d do well to remember that.
By the time he had her things packed away, she was settled into the passenger seat, but something felt off.
But that wasn’t it. It took a few more seconds for him to figure out what it was as he got behind the wheel.
“You feel better, huh, buddy?” Grayson said softly to his son, relieved that he was strapped into the car, but not crying. That was rare. Normally he fussed until the motion rocked him to sleep.
But when he glanced in the rearview mirror, instead of just looking at the back of the rear-facing seat he saw his son’s little face, eyes wide and surprised, reflected in the mirror.
“Hi,” Grayson said to him, his face breaking into a big smile. “I can see you.”
“Ahh—ooooh,” Leo replied, his chubby cheeks dimpling.
“He likes the mirror,” Evangeline said happily. “He loves you, so he feels happy when he can see you.”
Her words were so optimistic, but they cut deep.
She had it half right, just on instinct, but she had missed one crucial detail that turned a happy idea into one that broke his heart all over again.
It wasn’t that Leo was happy when he could see his daddy.
It was that he was terrified when he couldn’t.
The poor little fellow was too young to know or remember what had happened with his mother. But it was clear that he had some kind of feelings about being abandoned. And it was plain as day now to Grayson that his cries in the car hadn’t been from discomfort.
Leo cried because he didn’t want to be left behind.
Suddenly Grayson felt like he was being strangled. His skin burned and he struggled to pull in a breath.
You’re okay, he told himself as his heart thundered like a runaway stallion. You’re okay. You’re okay. You’re okay.
But the darkness was trying to push in from all around him, crushing his chest.
You’re okay.
After a moment, he felt the air entering his lungs again.
He stole a glance over at Evangeline, wondering if she had seen him spinning out. But she was smiling and waggling her eyebrows at Leo in the mirror, and seemingly hadn’t noticed a thing.
A little of the weight of worry lifted, but he still didn’t feel like himself. It was taking all he had not to rub and claw at his scars.
He started the engine, hoping he could somehow get them home without having to explain himself.
He doubted it. The way his friends talked, women always wanted to discuss every little thought and feeling. He would never get away with silence all the way home, especially when it was probably clear to her that something was wrong.
Forcing himself to relax the tension in his jaw, he pulled the car out and headed down Park toward Princeton.
Just breathe, he told himself.
He felt Evangeline’s eyes on him, searching, but he didn’t have it in him to turn to her and smile or say a kind word. He left his eyes locked on the road, his energy focused on survival.
After a moment, she leaned forward and turned on the radio.
It was tuned to the local station that played all Christmas music all the time during the holiday season. Elvis Presley was singing “The First Noel” and the sweet sound filled the space instantly.
Leo made a funny squeaking sound in the back and Grayson glanced in the mirror to see his son looking amazed, his little mouth open.
“Do you like this song?” Evangeline asked him. “Do you like the music?”
Leo blinked at her and smiled a great big smile.
“Should I sing?” she asked. “You don’t want me to sing do you?”
Grayson found himself paying close attention to what was going to happen next. His panicked feelings weren’t forgotten, but they seemed far away now, which was strange. Normally, once he started going down that dark road it took a while to fight his way back out of his own haze.
“Ahh,” Leo said, clearly also locked into what Evangeline was saying. “Ahh.”
“Okay, then,” she replied with a big smile before breaking into song.
She wasn’t the best singer. Truth be told, she was singing a little off-key and a lot too loudly. But Grayson thought he’d never heard a sound so sweet. And her performance had Leo chuckling and waving his arms in delight.
As the first song wrapped up and she started singing along to the next one, Grayson was surprised to find that he was actually feeling better.
He drove on, through the little town and out into the suburbs and the farmland beyond while Evangeline sang and Leo chuckled and chirped.
I don’t know what we did to deserve her, he thought to himself, but we sure got lucky.