Chapter 19 Grayson
GRAYSON
Grayson drove slowly and carefully out of the village the next day, keeping his eyes on the road even as his heart disintegrated in his chest.
He had just signed papers giving Levi the right to represent him and seek information on his behalf. But nothing good would come of it.
Levi was going to try and find out who Leo’s birth father was. And he was going to try to work out an adoption, if both birth parents were willing.
Listening to Levi explain how tenuous Leo’s current situation was, Grayson had been tempted not to do anything at all—just to lay low and hope for the best.
You’re stirring up a can of worms, his grandfather would have said, and the old man would have been right in a way. Grayson had no desire to make things harder than they had to be.
But in his heart of hearts, he knew that keeping quiet wasn’t right. Leo’s birth father had a right to know about him if he didn’t already. Brianna had the right to change her mind about leaving Leo with Grayson.
And of course Leo had the right to know his own story, no matter how it turned out.
So he’d signed the papers with a shaking hand and pushed them back to Levi, praying it was the right decision.
“It’s going to be okay,” Levi told him. “However it all turns out. You’re doing what’s best for Leo, and that’s what matters.”
Grayson had offered Levi a handshake as he left the office, but the other man had pulled him into a quick hug.
“I know what this feels like,” he said quietly.
And Grayson figured his friend pretty much did, after adopting his own beautiful daughter last year.
Heading out to his car, Grayson had seen Levi’s wife, Lily, with little Flora, coming home from a walk in the snow.
It’ll be all right, he’d told himself firmly, giving Lily a half-hearted wave back when she spotted him.
Losing Leo was the worst thing he could imagine. So why had he broken down last night over a memory, yet he was holding it together for something that could be happening right now?
But the answer came to him immediately.
Because Leo needs me to be strong.
There was nothing he wouldn’t do for his boy. Nothing.
As he drove, the suburbs outside the window melted into farmland, wide swathes of snowy white reaching to the gray of the sky, punctuated only by bare trees and sweet little farmhouses with twinkling Christmas lights.
He couldn’t help thinking about the tree waiting back at the house, and the garland Evangeline had already decorated and hung on the mantel.
She’s so perfect. Why did I ruin it?
But she thought those medals made him some kind of hero. And as hard as he was falling for Evangeline, he couldn’t just let her think he was something he wasn’t.
Talking to her had been oddly healing. The few times he’d voiced his guilt to anyone else, he’d been fed platitudes like, It wasn’t your fault, or You did your best.
But Evangeline seemed to understand that his burden wasn’t lessened by the fact that he wasn’t the only one to blame.
He could tell by the look in her eyes that she felt his pain, that she honored it.
She didn’t question why he would carry the memory of Isaac Jones with him wherever he went. She understood instinctively.
The winding country road finally led him back to the house that hadn’t felt like a home until Leo and Evangeline had made it one. Lights glowed in the nursery window and he smiled at the idea that Evangeline was up there right now with Leo, probably to change his diaper.
It was so nice to have another person in the house—not just to help with things like diapers, but to appreciate Leo’s funny way of “talking” and share the wonder over his happiest moments.
He knew he should temper his expectations, but he couldn’t help picturing the two of them marveling over Leo’s first words, first steps, first day of school…
What if I get to keep him? What if she stays?
What if her heart is as kind as her eyes and her words?
What if she could find something to love in a man like me?
He parked the SUV and headed into the house, finding himself jogging up the steps in his eagerness to get to the two most important people in his world.
He was hanging his coat in the hallway when he heard a man’s voice.
It was tinny and at first he couldn’t figure out where it was coming from. The television wasn’t on and it wasn’t the radio.
Following the sound back to the kitchen, he found the baby monitor sitting on the kitchen counter.
He picked it up and saw Evangeline in the grainy black and white screen, changing Leo’s diaper. There was no man in the room with them.
“Hang on, Rory,” she said suddenly. “You’re on speaker, but I just have to focus for a sec, these little buttons always get me.”
She’s on the phone.
Who’s Rory?
Anger filled his chest and he had to take a deep breath and let it out slowly. Being single wasn’t a job prerequisite. Though the way she had been looking at him lately, he’d thought…
Well, whatever he’d thought, he’d been wrong to think it. And he should have known better anyway. A sweet girl like Evangeline wouldn’t have feelings for a man like him.
“Okay,” she said on the monitor, lifting Leo into her arms and holding him close. “Sorry about that. What’s going on?”
“I don’t want you to worry about me,” the man’s voice said warningly. “I’m gonna figure it out.”
Even through the tinny output on the monitor, Grayson could hear that Rory had a deep voice and a Philly accent. This was someone from her old life. The life she never really talked about.
“Figure what out?” Evangeline asked him, her voice pitching up.
“The gang wants more from me than I was hoping,” he replied.
The gang?
“More money?” Evangeline breathed.
“No,” he said flatly. “Different jobs.”
Grayson barely contained a growl. What kind of person was Evangeline involved with?
“Can you go to the police for help?” Evangeline asked.
“Well, funny story,” the man replied, irony clear in his voice.
“Someone on the force actually went to the Department of Licenses. Turns out there’s no license to operate a business from Grandpa’s house.
So if I don’t shut down the shop, they’ll shut me down, maybe even send the police back, and there will be huge fines—fines I can’t pay. ”
“Why?” Evangeline asked.
“As far as I can figure it out, he didn’t apply for a license because even though a lot of East Cambria is commercially zoned, our block isn’t,” the man sighed.
“He had friends everywhere, and they looked the other way back in Grandpa’s day.
But there’s new blood on the force, and now that they found something to link the shop to the gang, they’re not going to take any chances.
I talked to André, but there’s nothing he can do on this. ”
“I can’t believe Grandpa didn’t have a license,” Evangeline said softly.
“Things were different in those days,” Grayson said. “And he was trying to give us the best life possible after Mom and Dad left. He couldn’t go back to the shipyard with no one to watch us at home. You know that. We would have wound up in the system.”
The whole thing shifted in Grayson’s mind and his breath caught in his throat.
This man wasn’t Evangeline’s boyfriend. He was her brother.
“What are you going to do, Rory?” she was asking him. “Can you come here? I can’t promise anything, but my boss is a good man. I know he’ll help you try to find work—”
“I’m not going to mess up a good thing for you, Buttons,” Rory said, cutting her off. “It sounds like you really like that guy, and the baby too.”
“But then where will you go?” she asked, her voice catching. “What will you do?”
There was silence for a moment, and Grayson found himself impatient for an answer to that question himself.
“Grandpa’s house is all we’ve got,” Rory said quietly after a moment. “If I have to close the shop, I’ll just find some other work.”
“There is no other work,” Evangeline said quietly. “And you’re not going to work for the gang.”
Grayson waited for him to argue that of course he wouldn’t work for the gang and to name another opportunity.
“It won’t be that bad,” Rory said softly instead. “We can’t lose Grandpa’s house.”
“Please, Rory,” Evangeline begged. “Please don’t do this.”
“It’s just for a little while,” he told her. “Just to get them off my back and keep the taxes paid on the house.”
“That’s how it starts,” Evangeline said. “Look at Eddie and Larry Grasso. Look at Layla Albertson. This is what Grandpa worked so hard to stop us from doing.”
“Don’t worry, baby sis,” Rory said, sounding distracted. “Listen, I’ve gotta go. Somebody’s here.”
There was silence and Grayson put the monitor down, feeling guilty about listening in to her whole conversation, and furious that her brother would throw away his life just to hold onto the past.
Then he heard the soft sound of her weeping.
The fury in his chest bubbled over and he found himself storming back down the hall and grabbing his coat again. Conflicting thoughts crowded his mind.
She’s got trouble all around. I can’t have someone whose family is involved in a gang taking care of my son, for however long he’s my son…
He headed out the front door, slamming it behind him as he stalked back to the SUV and got in.