22. Raelyna
RAELYNA
I was breaking from the inside out. And didn’t know how to hold on to the pieces.
I couldn’t stop them from falling away one by one as I stood outside of Solis Court, realizing I’d failed to keep my sister free from the temples.
I’d failed to protect her from Luc.
I’d failed.
I told myself that pain was only temporary. That this too would pass. That we would survive this and find a way for Orela not to have to live in servitude to gods we were currently questioning, in temples my father feared for reasons he couldn’t divulge before his death.
I was lying to myself.
A gust of wind whipped around me, sand pelting against my skin in tiny pinpoints, but it didn’t matter.
Nothing did.
Not until I fixed the mess I’d created.
My mind reeled in a torrent of questions—concerns, worries, and fears blending together in a painful attack.
I needed answers, and I sure as hell wasn’t going to find them standing alone on the streets of Solis Quarter.
I broke down the moment I stepped through the door and made eye contact with Kira. It took half a second for her hazel eyes to collide with mine and see the defeat in the depths of my being.
“I’m sorry.” It was all I could say as she ran to me, pulling me into a hug. I clung to my youngest sister, both of us breaking down in a heap on the floor.
“I’m sorry,” I said again.
“I’m sorry.” The words were a ghost of a whisper in the air. “I couldn’t stop it.”
“None of us could,” Kira admitted. Loxl whined beside us on the floor, his small beige head shifting from me to Kira and back to me before he whined again, displeased by our display of emotions.
I reached over, tugging the fox into my lap as I sat on the floor in defeat.
“What happened?” Finn’s voice sounded from behind my sister, and I tilted my head, surprised to find Finn, Sage, and Emberly all in my living room, watching us closely.
I shook my head a moment, my curls bobbing from the movement as I tilted my head to the side in confusion.
“What are you all doing here?”
“We planned to meet here after Luc called for you after our performance,” Emberly confessed. “We were on our way here already when Kira called us.”
Another pang of sadness shot through me. Regret and sorrow laced together that I wasn’t here for Kira when Orela had been taken.
“Rae.” Finn’s voice pulled me from my thoughts as I turned toward him. “Tell us what happened.”
I shook my head, not wanting to speak, even as I opened my mouth and the words began flowing out of me. My heart sank with every word that fell from my lips.
“Stars-damn,” Finn cursed as he paced across my living room, wearing a path into the already-worn rug that covered the floor before he sat down beside me pulling me into a hug.
I sat there for a moment, clinging to him as tears freely rolled down my face.
“I’ve tried so hard . . .” The words came through sobs. “For so long, just for this—”
“Shhh.” Finn’s hand traced circles on my back as he held me close to him. “It’s okay to not be okay right now. You’ve been so strong . . . for so long. It’s okay to let others be your strength when you need to.”
I remained silent for a few more minutes, calming my breathing as I tried to think through our next steps.
“I knew we shouldn’t have gotten involved in any of this,” Finn confessed after a moment. “It’s too dangerous. You haven’t spoken to those two guards since we saw them, have you?”
I didn’t answer at first.
I didn’t want to.
“Raelyna.” Finn’s voice was a demand for an answer.
“Yes,” I confessed after a moment of silence. “But before you say anything about my decision, Finn, just listen to me for a minute.”
He glanced between the other females in the room before giving me a nod and gesturing for me to continue.
“I don’t know whether Callum and Axel are who they claim to be.
I don’t know if they are spies for the Aurelian Guild.
” I hesitated before continuing. “But, what I do know is that, regardless of who they are, we can all agree, based on what we found in the library last night, that something is amiss. We already know Lucanus is behind the angels disappearing . . . he’s the one that has the power to force them to stay in the temples.
There’s something going on in the shadows that is being hidden from us. ”
“That’s actually why I was on my way over—” Sage interrupted, her voice a soft lilt as she moved to her satchel resting on the table in my kitchen. “While I was at work this morning, I found this.” She tugged an old book out of her bag and displayed it to us.
We stared at the ancient book, the chestnut-hued leather cracking in a few places, the yellowed edges of the pages seeming fragile to the touch. In gold script, across the center of the book, were the words, The Golden Reign of Aurelia.
“I almost didn’t notice the book,” she admitted.
“But I was on the top level of the library in the closets in the back, and this book was wedged behind some shelves. I’ve only managed to skim a few of the pages, but it mentions both the Eternal and Aeternus.
” Her voice carried an air of excitement as she spoke of her findings.
“You’re saying there’s some truth to what we’ve been looking into?” Kira asked hesitantly, and all our heads turned toward Sage, the only one of us whose continued education allowed her the privilege of working in the libraries.
She nodded excitedly. “I think so. We’ll need to read the book further to truly see, but if I’m correct . . . this may have the answers we’ve been searching for.”
“It still doesn’t stop anything that’s happened today.” The words fell from my mouth, leaving a bitter taste.
“No,” Finn admitted as he looked at me.
“But it could be the start of fixing it,” Emberly added, her eyes focused on me as she said the words.
I nodded as I stood up, holding Loxl in my arms as the fox nestled closer against me, pressing his small body next to mine in comfort. Glancing down, I rubbed the top of his small head, before pressing a kiss to it and moving toward the table where Sage had set the book.
“Let’s start searching for some answers, then.”
We had been sprawled out across the living room, having taken scans of the book Sage found and dividing the images into five sections—one for each of us to scour through.
A pizza sat on the coffee table, half eaten, and glasses were scattered throughout the space as everyone poured over the passages they’d been given.
“So, if I’m getting this right.” Kira interrupted the silence as she looked between the rest of us. “This book is essentially an account of Aurelia before The Rift . . . before it was divided into the four quarters we have now.”
“Seems that way,” Emberly confirmed.
Finn moved closer, all of us gathering around the coffee table as I placed a piece of paper down between us. Kira grabbed the pen, the ink gliding along the paper as she outlined Aurelia.
“It seems as though Aurelia was once thought of as the City of Gold. It was a land of light that appeared to be thriving even in the midst of the desert.”
Heads nodded in agreement.
“According to this book, The Rift emerged when the people turned away from the Eternal,” Emberly added.
“Wait,” I interrupted as I swiped through my device until I located the passage I had flagged. “This section here mentions it was because they angered Aeternus and displeased him by turning to new gods.”
“We expected to find mentions of Aeternus based on what we’ve heard throughout our lives here. But the Eternal?” Kira added.
“So there are different accounts? In the same book?” Finn questioned. “That doesn’t make any sense. If the book itself isn’t even accurate, then this doesn’t help us at all.”
“Wait . . .” Sage flipped through a few pages of the book, scanning for whatever it was she was searching for.
“Just another minute . . . I know I saw it somewhere.” She continued flipping through pages.
“No . . . not here.” A few more pages flipped.
“Wait—oh, not here either.” Another page. “No . . . almost . . .”
“For the love of—”
“Ah, here it is!” she exclaimed, spinning the book around so we could all read the paragraph she had searched for. All sets of eyes homed in on the worn, yellowed page, the edges ripping, and we began to read.
“Aeternus himself came down, dividing the City of Gold as a great rift fell into the desert. Those who’d turned to the darkness found themselves shrouded from the Eternal until they deemed to seek the light once more.
“Does that mean . . .” Finn began before trailing off as Sage nodded.
“Aeternus is the Eternal?” I questioned, reading, then rereading the text.
“I think it is just another name of reverence for the god,” Sage confirmed. “This text—this historical account—would indicate that Aurelia was divided into four Quarters because the people turned from Aeternus and began to worship other gods.”
“That makes no sense based on what we’re taught in school,” Kira said. “But at the same time, it would explain why, on the streets, there have always been those saying to turn from the darkness. To turn back to the ways of old.”
“In theory, it makes a lot of sense, we just have no way to prove whether it’s accurate or not—” I started.
“No,” she interrupted. “I mean, it makes no sense that this would have been hidden in the library. Why is it that we have never seen a text that references any form of god other than the five we’ve been taught to worship?
Why was this particular book in a dark closet hidden behind a shelf on the upper levels? ”
“Knowledge holds power . . . it’s a way to gain control,” I stated. “And Luc has always sought control over all else.”
“Even if that’s what he wanted—the control, the power from having us all believe one thing,” Finn added. “Why not destroy the text entirely? Why keep this book hidden? How were we able to find an occasional other mention of this god who supposedly divided Aurelia?”
“You shouldn’t have been able to,” Sage confirmed. “And if I hadn’t made sacred vows at the library—ones which I definitely broke by taking this book—you never would have even had access to any of the books that mentioned this god.”
“Even if we disregard the book entirely, it puts a whole new spin on the angels we’ve seen shouting throughout the streets,” Emberly stated.
I picked at the tassels on the couch pillow, my fingers tugging at the threads of string as I thought. “No, you’re right. The female I followed . . . the one during Brumalis . . . she had been out on the street outside Solis Court just that night. And then the RSG took her to the court temple.”
“Because Lucanus is silencing them,” Finn added as realization dawned across the room.
“Okay, but even if that’s true, there’s literally no way for us to determine the actual truth regarding the history of Aeternus,” I said.
“Other than the fact that our own king is going out of his way to silence those speaking of Aeternus,” Emberly said.
“Well,” the slow drawl came from my sister as she looked at me. “There technically is one way,” she finished with a pointed look at my phone.
“No, Kir,” I bit out. “I am not texting that number back. You heard what Lucanus told me. If he is a spy, I’m not going to risk Orela’s safety any more than we already have. I won’t do it.”
She raised her hands in protest. “I’m not saying it’s the smartest idea, but it could maybe give us some answers.”
“At what cost?” I demanded. “Us going to prison? Being locked up for conspiring against the king? Treason? What will happen to Orela in the temples?” I shook my head, angry that my sister had even suggested the idea.
“It’s not the worst idea, Rae.” It was Emberly who spoke up this time.
“You’ve got to be joking,” I stated in a huff, only to realize that all four of the people I held closest in the world were nodding in agreement. “Seriously?”
“We need answers, darling,” Finn answered. “It may not be the best idea we’ve come up with, but it’s something. We’re in enough trouble if we get caught as is—what’s a little extra?”
“I can’t believe you—all of you,” I replied. “I’m not texting him. I’ve already put all of us in enough danger as is; I don’t need to put us in even more danger.”
“If you won’t text him, I will,” Kira stated, reaching across the table in a flash as she tried to grab my phone from me.
“No.” The word was a rushed demand as I tried, and failed, to grab my phone back from her.
Kira rushed up, darting across the room as she began to type out a message.
“Don’t you dare!” I shouted as I hurried after my sister, attempting to grab the device back from her. She spun in a circle, trying to escape my grasp as I tried to knock the phone from her grip. “Give it back!”
“Not until I send the message,” she demanded, attempting to escape my hold once again.
“We are not texting him,” I replied. “We have literally no reason at all to trust the male, especially if he is a spy.” My fingers clawed at the phone, trying to knock it from her grasp as she pushed away from me.
“For the love of the stars,” Finn said before he stepped between the two of us and pushed us off of each other.
“Kira, give Raelyna back her phone,” he bit out in an expostulated tone as though he were our father rather than my best friend.
I humphed triumphantly as Kira passed the device back to me, which only had Finn shooting a scathing look my way.
“For Astara’s sake, Raelyna, you’re a century old.
You know better than to fight with your sister.
Now suck it up and text the stars-damned male.
I don’t care if you think it’s an idiotic idea .
. . we have no other choices, and Sage can’t keep stealing books from the library for us. ”
I glared at the male before reluctantly sitting down on the couch and typing out a message.
“Happy now?” I snarked as I pressed Send and showed Finn the phone as proof.
“Yes. This truly brings me the greatest joy in the world, darling,” he mocked in my direction. “Having to break up a fight and text a potential spy to see if we’ve been deceived our entire lives. You’re right, happy just about sums it up entirely.”