Chapter 24
Hot, flustered, and completely thrown off-center, Athena blindly charged toward the front of the house. She couldn’t go in the back. By now people were likely eating. To run through the kitchen feeling the way she did, people were bound to notice.
It would be worse if she went that route and Henry followed her. The last thing she needed was to make another scene.
Why was she still here? There had been too many instances where she knew staying would end up hurting her. Why hadn’t she just listened to her instincts and left when it would have been easier?
Because of Henry, that’s why.
Henry and Beast were the only ones tethering her to this ranch. She could hang out at any ranch in the area, hiding and sneaking food from garbage cans. She could dumpster dive in town and still get access to everything she loved about nature.
She’d just been stupid enough to grow attached.
Athena hurried inside and up the stairs, successfully avoiding bumping into anyone. The biggest problem with staying was that she knew Henry wouldn’t change. He was always going to do what he thought was best for her without consulting her first. Hadn’t she told him she didn’t want the clothes? They’d agreed that he wouldn’t go digging into her past. He’d given her his word.
How could she have been so stupid to let every little dig at her preferences slide? She couldn’t have been clearer in the beginning.
When she made it to her room, she shut the door quietly and leaned against it. This was it. She had to leave. Staying would only end up hurting them both more than was necessary. Heck, if she stayed, there wasn’t any guarantee that he would leave her ex out of it. For all she knew, he’d already tracked the monster down and planned on paying back the guy for what he’d done to Athena.
While she did derive a small amount of pleasure thinking about how that confrontation would go down, she knew it wasn’t realistic.
Worse still, the longer she stayed, the more Henry would try to change her. He had very strong opinions. It was his way or the highway. When would he understand that his opinions were just that? They were opinions. She wasn’t going to let him push her around any longer. She’d been a puppet before, and she wasn’t going to be one ever again.
Her eyes swept through the room, landing on everything she’d accumulated over the last several weeks. There were clothes, shoes, a hat, work gloves, a nice pair of boots… and that silly suitcase that Henry had insisted on getting her.
On top of the gifts he’d bought her, he’d made sure she’d been paid for the work she’d put in on the ranch, and now she had several hundred dollars to her name.
For a split second, she hesitated. This was more than she’d had in a long time. She wasn’t used to owning so much. What if she couldn’t fit it all in that suitcase? Could she just leave it behind?
Athena shook her head to clear it. Of course she’d leave it. Only the essentials. She wasn’t about to be weighed down by things that didn’t mean anything to her. If she started packing now, she’d be able to sneak away as soon as it got dark.
She pushed away from the door and grabbed the suitcase from where she’d left it near the far wall. Flinging it open, Athena gripped the sides and took a steadying breath. Her heart was pounding. It wasn’t from her running up the stairs. Nor was it from the argument she’d had with Henry.
This was different—and yet all too familiar.
Fear.
Anxiety.
Worry about the unknown.
Her future was now a blank slate. Once upon a time this situation would be thrilling. She used to look forward to starting fresh somewhere else. She could create a new identity. There would be new people to watch and try to figure out. While observing those around her, Athena could write stories in her head about the people who passed her on the street.
Athena lifted a hand to her racing heart. All those feelings were gone. They’d been chased away by something stronger and nerve-wracking.
What if this was the wrong decision? What if she left and realized that the hole in her chest was exactly what Henry said it was? Scowling, Athena shrugged off that thought. Henry didn’t know everything. He was only trying to be a hero again. If there was one thing she didn’t need, it was a hero.
She pulled away from the suitcase and grabbed a few of the clothing items that would work well for her no matter where she ended up. The cowboy boots were an obvious choice to leave behind, as she doubted she would find work at another ranch.
Athena froze in the middle of putting a pair of jeans into the suitcase.
A job? She wasn’t going to get a job. What good would a job do her? She’d made it this far with little to no money, and she’d be able to do it again. People in her situation didn’t need to depend on anyone but themselves.
And yet, as she continued to put her clothes into the suitcase, she could already feel her heart shifting to that thought process again. Okay, well maybe she’d look around, and if there was anyone needing help, she’d apply. But only if they needed help. Athena wasn’t going to be a charity case. She’d simply offer her services to those who wanted it.
With a short nod to no one but herself, Athena finished packing her suitcase and then shut it. She was ready. As soon as the house got quiet, she’d slip out the front door and leave this place. It didn’t matter how far she needed to go; she’d get there.
As long as she didn’t have to see Henry again.
A heavy, sharp pain shot through her chest, causing her to stumble a step as she wandered to the window. Athena clutched her shirt just above her heart and closed her eyes. There was only one time before today when she’d felt this ache. It had been when she’d lost a close friend in high school. The ache left her feeling even more empty than before.
This time, it didn’t make sense. She wasn’t losing a dear friend.
Henry is your friend—more than that, he’s your boyfriend. Athena shoved the merciless thought away.
You can’t just leave without telling him goodbye.Great. Now she was getting lectured by her heart. Of course she could leave. She’d told him when they were arguing that she was done, hadn’t she? He knew it was a strong possibility that she wouldn’t stick around. Henry wasn’t so blind that he wouldn’t be able to see this coming. He had to know better.
After all their arguing, there was no way he didn’t understand that she was leaving. As for slipping out under the cover of darkness—well, she would rather not have to say awkward goodbyes. It wasn’t just Henry she wanted to avoid; it was everyone else. She could just see the way Harley or Brielle would look at her after all the effort they put into befriending her.
The only one who probably wouldn’t care was Hudson. He’d be thrilled.
Athena rubbed that spot on her chest again. She was doing the right thing. She didn’t belong here. These people were like a majestic herd of wild horses, and she was a mule that was trying too hard. Leaving simply made sense.
Then why are you trying so hard to convince yourself?
“Will you shut up?” Athena blurted aloud. She clapped her hand over her mouth and listened for anyone who might have been walking past her room at that very moment. Thankfully, the hallway was quiet.
Sighing, Athena moved to the bed and fell backward onto it, collapsing into the soft comforter. She stared at the now familiar ceiling. Tonight would be the last night she could stare at it and make invisible drawings from the textured surface.
She’d miss this part, too. If she were truly honest with herself, she’d admit that staying in a house with running water and the security of four walls would be something she’d remember fondly.
Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if she did find some work and was able to put some of her money down on a deposit for rent.
Her eyes closed and she folded her arms over her chest, allowing herself to drift to sleep. Just because she was leaving didn’t mean she had to return to the exact lifestyle she’d had before. She simply needed to get out of there, specifically because she knew she didn’t belong. It was more than being an outsider.
Athena didn’t fit. She was a square peg trying to be shoved into a different shaped hole. She’d never belong, and she had made her peace with it.
* * *
A door shutdown the hall and Athena shot up from where she’d fallen asleep on her bed, still fully clothed. The clock on the dresser said it was nearing breakfast time. No one had come to get her last night or this morning so far, but surely they would be up and wandering the halls. If she wanted to sneak out before Henry cornered her, she needed to do it now.
Athena grabbed her suitcase handle and then quietly pushed the door open. She poked her head out the door and glanced down the hallway both ways. No signs of anyone who would want to stop her or ask her questions.
She ducked back into her room and grabbed her hat, then stepped out into the hall and nearly collided with Hudson.
His shrewd gaze dipped to her suitcase and then lifted to meet hers. Before she could try to explain what was happening, he shook his head and muttered something under his breath before heading down the stairs.
No comment. No demands. He wasn’t going to stand in her way and sound the alarm so Henry could tell her to stay? She must have far overestimated his love for his brother. There was no other reasonable explanation for it.
A small fire burst to life in her stomach. This only proved that she was right. Not even family was required to care about each other. Hudson hadn’t been supportive of her or the relationship she had with his brother. He’d never hidden that he despised her, and they both knew it.
She was tempted to chase him down and tell him he needed to be better. Henry deserved a brother who was able to help bolster him and what he wanted out of life, not tear him down for falling in love with someone like her.
But she couldn’t.
Athena didn’t have the strength to go after Hudson and lecture him. Out of nowhere, her heart had started to crumble. There was a small part of her that wanted someone to be there, telling her that she shouldn’t go. Not even Henry had told her to stay last night, which was further proof she was doing right by him by letting him go. She couldn’t bear to live in his shadow, and she was too stubborn not to speak her mind about it.
He’d be better off finding someone who he saw as an equal and who could accept his criticism with grace.
That wasn’t her, at least not yet.
Maybe one day that could change.