Chapter 4 #2
“Yeah,” she replied blandly, following him out of the studio door to where Olivia was waiting.
They piled into Niko’s truck, which Merritt noted had been tidied considerably since the last time she was in it.
After another split-second eyes-only negotiation with Olivia that she once again lost, Merritt took the middle spot on the bench.
She tried to lean as much as possible into Olivia, who shot her an annoyed look and jabbed her with her elbow.
The studio was only half a mile from their house, so the drive couldn’t have been more than five minutes—but if someone had told Merritt it was an hour, she’d believe it.
Niko and Olivia chatted about something or other, and she may have even joined in, but all she could focus on was the spot where her thigh was squished against Niko’s, warm and rock-solid.
As soon as he pulled up in front of the house, it was all Merritt could do not to push Olivia out of the truck’s cab before he’d even come to a complete stop. As she slammed the door, Niko managed to squeeze out a “See you this weekend?”
“Weekend!” she repeated brightly, waving at him through the window before hurrying inside.
Olivia retreated to her room immediately, Merritt following soon after with two steaming mugs of peppermint tea. She perched on the side of the bed as Olivia propped herself against a mountain of pillows before taking her mug, blowing gingerly.
“You wanna watch a movie or something? I emailed my supervisor and told her I need to take a sick day.”
Olivia’s data science job had gone fully remote several years ago, around the same time Dev had sold his first book, spurring them to relocate from New Jersey to their favorite vacation spot.
They’d met here fifteen years ago on a college ski trip organized by mutual friends, drawn together by the fact that they were the only two who didn’t actually do any winter sports but had tagged along out of a mutual desire to drink hot cocoa and read by a fire.
They’d fallen in love with the town and with each other simultaneously, returning every year after for almost a decade before deciding to make the leap for good.
Like retirement without the retirement, Olivia had explained to her.
Somehow, they managed to both work from home without killing each other.
Having their own workspaces probably helped—the other side of their bedroom had been transformed into Olivia’s office, while Dev worked out of the third bedroom, where he was currently in the middle of a contract ghostwriting a popular series of espionage thrillers.
They were also less on top of each other during the school year, when he taught writing classes as an adjunct at the local liberal arts college.
“Sure.” Merritt climbed up next to her, hugging a pillow to her stomach as Olivia scrolled through their options.
“Ooh, have you heard of Bottoms Up? It’s this new dating show where the contestants have to choose who they want to marry based only on their butts.”
“That sounds terrible.”
“So you’re down?”
“Obviously.”
Olivia hit play, and the two of them settled in.
“So is it, like, naked butt? Underwear butt? Jeans butt? That makes a big difference,” Merritt mused. Olivia shushed her, and before they knew it, they were both completely absorbed—even though Olivia had to pause several times to go throw up again.
As the credits rolled after the end of the second episode, Merritt went downstairs to make her sister some more tea and toast. When she returned, she couldn’t help herself.
“Liv?”
“Hmmm?” Olivia asked, scrolling through her phone without looking up.
“Do you think Niko’s…” Merritt hesitated, already nervous that her nonchalant tone wasn’t fooling anyone.
“What?”
“…attractive?”
Olivia looked up from her phone and fixed her with a stern gaze. “Are you serious?”
“Yes?” Merritt responded tentatively.
“Of course I think he’s attractive. I have eyes. He looks like a Disney prince or something. But, like, one of the nineties ones, after they actually figured out how to draw men.” Her tone was no-nonsense, as if she were annoyed that she had to explain something so obvious.
Merritt was so surprised—and relieved—that she couldn’t stop herself from throwing her head back and cackling, her laughter transforming into a frustrated groan as she buried her face into the pillow in her lap, muffling her words.
“Uuuggghhh. I know. I feel like I’m gonna spontaneously combust every time I’m around him.
” She turned her head sideways, coming up for air. “What should I do?”
In a flash, all of the mirth drained from Olivia’s face, her tone turning flat and serious. “What do you mean? You shouldn’t do anything. You should just work with him and be normal and not do anything.”
Merritt sat up straight, startled by how quickly the temperature in the room had dropped. “Uh, whoa. Okay.”
“What about that TV writer guy? Aren’t you still talking to him?”
“Sort of. Not really. It’s definitely not exclusive, whatever it is.”
Olivia raised her eyebrows. “Come on. You’re into Niko? Really?”
“Why is that so surprising? You just said he was cartoon-prince handsome.”
“Yeah, but your type has traditionally been closer to cartoon rat.”
“Ouch,” Merritt said, laughing.
“I just…don’t see him as someone you’d want to settle down with,” Olivia said with a shrug.
“What’s wrong with him?”
“Nothing’s wrong with him.” Olivia put the emphasis on nothing, but the implication rang loud and clear: nothing’s wrong with him.
“Well, who said anything about settling down?” Merritt said innocently, before she could stop herself. She lowered her head and picked at the raised balls of decorative thread on Olivia’s quilt.
“Don’t.” Olivia’s eyes narrowed. Merritt’s hand stilled, but she knew that wasn’t what Olivia was referring to.
“Don’t what?”
“What, you’re gonna make him, like, your boy toy, or whatever? You’d get bored of him in a month. He doesn’t deserve that.”
Merritt sputtered, indignant. “ ‘Boy toy’? I’m only five years older than him!”
“You know it’s not about your age. Except that you’re getting too old to be doing this.
You’ll chew him up and spit him out, and then Dev and I will have to pick up the pieces.
I’m literally about to have two babies; I don’t have time for that shit anymore.
” Olivia’s tone was flat and matter-of-fact, like she was relaying something she’d learned on her NPR podcast that morning.
Merritt’s heart pounded, but she fought to keep her voice just as calm.
“Why are you so sure it would automatically be a huge disaster?”
“Because I know you. And I know him. And he’s so nice.”
Merritt’s mouth twisted. “And I’m not.” It wasn’t a question.
Olivia looked like she was about to fire off another retort, but instead she sighed, rubbed her hands over her eyes, and picked up the remote. “Whatever. Do whatever you want, Merritt. It’s none of my business.”
She hit play again, a little aggressively, and the show blared back to life.
Merritt glanced over at Olivia, who kept her eyes fixed firmly on the TV. “I’m not going to, you know. Date him. Or…toy with him. This was all hypothetical.”
Pause.
“Okay.”
Pause.
“Don’t say anything about it? Please?”
“I won’t.”
Merritt knew she should drop it, but she was still feeling unsettled. As if reading her mind, Olivia spoke first. “Has he said anything? To you? Like, been flirty or anything?”
Merritt shook her head. “I don’t think he’s buying what I’m selling.
” Her mind flashed back to seeing him with Skylar, the receptionist at the yoga studio, and the way she’d smiled and tossed her hair and leaned in closer than she’d needed to.
“I’m sure he only dates, like, twenty-two-year-old wellness influencers. ”
Olivia shrugged, refusing to take the bait. “Yeah, maybe.” But to Merritt’s surprise, she didn’t stop there. “I don’t think I’ve seen him with anyone since his ex.”
Merritt forced herself to wait a few beats before responding. “What ex?”
“You don’t know her, she left town before you got here. It was a pretty fucked-up situation, actually.”
“Oh yeah?”
“They dated for, like, two years, I think? Then, boom, out of nowhere, she left him for their roommate.”
Merritt’s stomach twisted. She didn’t know what she was expecting, but it wasn’t that. “Holy shit. That’s awful. And nobody saw it coming?”
Olivia shook her head. “I mean, they all spent a lot of time together, but none of us really thought anything of it. The two of them moved away pretty soon after that. I think they’re in Texas somewhere? I saw on Instagram that she just had a baby.”
“Wow.” Merritt was too stunned to say anything else.
“Yeah. So…just leave him alone. He’s already been through enough.” Olivia’s tone was flippant enough that Merritt resisted the urge to defend herself again.
Merritt turned her attention back to Bottoms Up, which had now been playing for several minutes without either of them taking in a word. “Maybe he should go on this show. He’d clean up.”
“You just want to see his butt.” Olivia grinned.
“Well, yeah, apparently I’m banned from trying to see it any other way.”
“Damn right.”
Merritt laughed, relieved that the tension seemed to have evaporated.
Olivia was right. Even though every innuendo she’d tossed at Niko had seemed to fly straight over his head, Merritt knew it would be easy to fuck him if she really set her mind to it. It usually was.
But what would ultimately come of it, if she was being honest with herself?
Was a night, a week, maybe even a month of vigorous sex worth the potential long-term fallout of dropping a bomb on their delicate social ecosystem?
Maybe in her twenties, but she supposedly had better control over her impulses these days.
Olivia rested her mug on her stomach and groaned. “God, I feel like shit. Am I a terrible person if I skip the meeting tonight?”
“What meeting?”
“SummerFest. I’m on the board again this year.”
Crested Peak hosted a number of festivals and events throughout the year, but SummerFest was one of the biggest, drawing tourists from all over the country.
For a week in July, the town was overtaken by a giant street fair, with all the local businesses participating, plus outside vendors.
The kickoff was a fundraiser—usually some kind of performance, accompanied by a silent auction, benefiting a different community organization every year.
Over the past few years, Olivia had taken a larger and larger role in helping to plan it.
“What if I did it this year?” Merritt asked impulsively. Olivia’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. Merritt couldn’t blame her: she was surprised she’d offered, too. Still, she continued, “You don’t need the stress right now. You can just rest, and this will be one less thing on your plate.”
“Really?” asked Olivia, still visibly suspicious.
“What?”
“You’ve just…never shown any interest in doing town stuff.”
Merritt felt herself flush, even though it was true. “I want to, though. If I’m going to live here for real, I can’t just be in my room brooding all the time.”
The side of Olivia’s mouth tugged up. “You said it, not me.” She picked up her phone. “Are you sure?”
“Totally sure.”
“Don’t commit if you’re just going to flake out in a month. Remember, it’s my reputation on the line.”
Merritt let out an indignant laugh. “Olivi-uhhh,” she said, drawing out the last syllable like she did when they were kids, just to annoy her.
“Email them right now and tell them I’m replacing you, and I’ll see them tonight.
And you’ll just have to fill me in on whether Terrence finally stops flip-flopping between Vanessa’s and MacKenzie’s sweet cheeks. ”
Olivia’s face softened, and she laughed, too. “Okay. Fine.” She looked down at her phone, tapping out a message, then glanced back up. “Thank you.”
Merritt settled back against the pillows. She expected to feel nerves or even regret, but instead, she felt something she’d been missing since she’d moved to Crested Peak—or, more accurately, in the ten years since she’d abandoned her music career: the spark of purpose.
Maybe getting more involved with the community was exactly what she needed. The directionless question mark of the rest of her life had become too overwhelming to ignore ever since she’d found out about Olivia’s pregnancy. Plus, it would lighten the burden on her already stressed sister.
She told herself it had nothing to do with the skeptical way Niko had repeated the word busy back to her, or the wistful look on his face when he’d talked about how he’d have to leave Crested Peak eventually.
Even though he didn’t strike her as a judgmental person, she couldn’t help envisioning how she must look through his eyes—and the results weren’t flattering.
Her standoffishness, her aimlessness, her immense privilege.
How wasteful she was to be living in such a special place and barely taking advantage of it.
Merritt brushed away those thoughts like they were gnats buzzing around her nose.
She didn’t care what Niko thought about her—or, more accurately, what she thought he thought about her.
All that mattered was that now she’d found a wholesome, productive, and much-needed project to throw her energy into.
And if it distracted her from him, well, that was just a bonus.