Chapter 26 #2
He swallowed hard, his eyes searching her face. “So you…do you…should we stop this now? Before it hurts?”
Even though that exact thought had been bouncing around her mind all evening, hearing him say it made her stomach do a queasy flip.
An hour ago, she’d been so sure it was the right thing to do.
But her conversation with Nora had been enough to sow some well-placed seeds of doubt.
And now, looking into his eyes, she had the creeping sensation that those seeds had already taken deep root, vines tangling and tightening around them, impossible to escape.
They were already in too deep. The only choice was to see this through to the bitter end, clinging to every last bit of sweetness along the way.
She dropped her hand down to interlace with his again. “Niko,” she said, her voice breaking, bringing the back of his palm to press flat against her chest, where her sternum was bared by the neckline of her dress. “It’s too late for that.”
Before he could say anything, she threaded the fingers of her other hand in his hair and closed the gap between them, kissing him hard, and he returned it in kind, his tongue slipping into her mouth, his hand gripping her waist, pulling her closer.
Before long, she was kneeling, straddling one of his thighs, their kisses growing deeper and more frantic, Niko pulling away only long enough to give sharp, greedy bites to her throat and jaw.
How could she ever give up being kissed like this? How had she ever lived without it? She almost felt sorry for the past version of herself, who was regularly willing to blow up her life for chemistry one-tenth this incendiary.
They hadn’t had time for much beyond a few stolen, heated kisses since last week at his house, and it already felt like she was discovering him all over again: the ripple of muscle where his shoulder met his upper back, the strength of his hands gripping her bare thighs, the way his breath went ragged when she reached under his shirt and grazed her nails down his back.
And, of course, there was still so much they hadn’t discovered—a thought that made her dizzy with want.
“This dress,” he murmured, his voice as rough as the palms sliding beneath her hem.
“I wore it for you.” She drew her hands from beneath his shirt, hooking an arm around his neck, pulling herself closer, denim scraping her inner thighs.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.” Her breath caught as he hitched up one of her knees, repositioning her until she was straddling him.
As soon as she was seated flush against him, a small noise escaping her throat at the sensation, his hands were exploring again—her thighs, her ass, and coming to grip her waist, the skirt bunched up and pooling around his arms.
“Never thought I’d get to take it off you.”
She lifted her arms above her head to help him out, and he pulled it off slowly, like he was savoring every new inch of skin revealed. When he tossed it over his shoulder, his eyes swept over her, hands following in their wake.
“Hold on,” he said, and she didn’t realize he meant it literally until he was tilting her backward.
She kept her arms around his neck, as he’d instructed, while he laid her flat on her back, then pulled away gently, getting unsteadily to his feet and walking over to the lamp.
He picked it up and brought it back over to her, putting it down as close as the cord would allow, tilting the shade back to better illuminate her bare skin.
She felt lit up from the inside, too, desperate for him to touch her, forced to settle for the hungry way he was looking at her, the rough edge to his voice when he spoke.
“How slow are we taking it tonight, do you think?”
Merritt didn’t respond, just arched her back, reaching behind her to flick open the clasp of her bra and slip it off.
His eyes darkened, and he was on her in an instant, muttering something under his breath in Greek as he gathered her close, her bare limbs wrapping around his clothed ones, his mouth finding hers again, kissing her with newfound intention, hot and deep and clearly on the edge of losing control.
Her hands fumbled with the hem of his shirt.
“You need to get rid of—ah!” She sucked in a breath when his mouth found her nipple, her hands faltering as raw sensation shot straight to her core, then again when he gently bit the soft underside of her breast.
He leaned back on his heels, pulling his shirt over his head in one quick motion, and she sat up to help him with his belt.
“Wait,” he said, his breathing heavy. “Do we have a condom?”
Merritt groaned. “Oh, fuck. Shit. I don’t even have any at my place.” Every time she’d dropped by the grocery store or pharmacy that week, she’d taken stock of who’d been working the register, and each time it had been someone who definitely would’ve raised an eyebrow.
Cockblocked by small-town charm and lack of self-checkout.
“I have some, but let me go check my truck first,” he said, and stood up again, this time with even more difficulty. Merritt’s racing heart still hadn’t calmed by the time he returned, holding the foil square between his fingers.
He knelt back next to her, pants still half-unbuttoned, and she reached for his zipper.
“You just had that stashed in there?” she teased. “How many people have you defiled in that truck? I’m starting to not feel special.”
He placed a hand on hers, stilling her progress, then tilted her chin up to kiss her tenderly on the lips. “Merritt,” he said gravely, his eyes dark and burning. “I don’t think I understood the meaning of that word until I met you.”
She held his gaze for a long moment, her heart fluttering like a trapped hummingbird.
It had been a long time since she’d felt this naked in front of someone.
She’d been so caught up in worrying about all the ways she might bruise him, it had taken her too long to understand the power he had to bruise her, too.
There was no one else she’d rather give the honor.
She sat up on her knees, helping him shimmy out of his jeans, then pulled him back on top of her, all that smooth, golden skin finally pressed against all of hers.
They rolled around on the blankets, groping and grinding, restless and heated, him moaning when she licked the hollow of his throat, her gasping as he sucked a hickey onto the swell of her breast.
Finally, she couldn’t take it anymore.
“I need you, Niko,” she murmured, pushing him onto his back and straddling him, dragging herself down the length of him, making him groan and grab her hips, matching her motion, the friction sending a bolt of white-hot pleasure through her.
Then, suddenly, she was on her back again, his hand cupping her between her legs.
“Are you sure you’re ready for me?” The husky taunt in his voice was a side of him she’d barely seen, and she arched into his touch with a needy moan.
They both gasped when he pushed her underwear to the side and slid two fingers into her, his jaw going slack when he was met with no resistance, just slick heat. “Fuck,” he said, his voice hoarse, his gaze locked on the slow pump of his fingers in and out.
She shoved at her waistband, her movements jerky as pleasure already began to build deep in her core, and he pulled away to help strip them off.
When he returned, he settled between her thighs again, his eyes sweeping over her naked body, his other hand stroking the thick outline of his erection beneath his briefs.
“Are you sure you’re ready for me?” she asked, lifting her chin, matching his dare, but she was smiling like an idiot. He grinned, too, and shook his head, leaning over to grab the condom.
“No,” he said. “I’ve wanted you so long, I’m half expecting this to kill me. But there are worse ways to go than buried in that perfect pussy.”
She felt herself flush from head to toe, watching hungrily as he finally ditched his boxer briefs and got fully naked, too. It wasn’t until he started to roll the condom on that she noticed his hands were shaking.
He sat back down on one of the cushions, gently guiding her upright until she was kneeling over his lap, and suddenly—too soon and not nearly soon enough—her world had narrowed to the sensation of him lining himself against her entrance, of her sinking down slowly, slowly, lighting up nerve endings she didn’t know she had, so impossibly full and deep that she had to fight to catch her breath.
Neither of them moved for an endless moment as they recalibrated to this new reality, foreheads pressed together, their breathing labored, Merritt’s eyelids fluttering.
“God,” she breathed, shifting in his lap, the slight movement enough to draw a groan from deep within his chest. He gathered her in his arms and kissed her as she began to move, the barest motion of her hips sending shivers of pleasure through her.
She scraped her fingernails through his hair, sucked at his neck, swallowed his groans on her lips as she increased her range of motion, his hands abandoning their roaming to grip her ass, his hips rocking to meet hers as they found their rhythm.
“Fuck. Hold on. Wait,” he groaned, suddenly lifting her off him and shutting his eyes, gripping the base of his cock. “I need a second.”
Merritt barely had time to process what was happening before he’d nudged her onto her back, hooked his arms behind her knees, and slung her thighs over his shoulders. It all happened so fast that she let out a surprised laugh—quickly overtaken by a moan as his tongue began to work.
She had no complaints about the last time she’d had his face between her legs, but now she fully understood the benefits of undivided attention—on both their parts. Tension built low in her belly, a tight knot of sensation that was almost painful in her need for release.
“Niko,” she whimpered, the wave cresting, her hands clutching helplessly at the blankets next to her as he fucked her with his fingers again. She was so goddamn close.
The warmth of his mouth disappeared, and she cried out in protest, but he was bracing himself on top of her, pushing into her again in one smooth stroke, and she would’ve been embarrassed about the noise she made if she weren’t too far gone to care.
He rolled his hips, setting a deep, languid rhythm, and she was immediately on the edge again, pleasure building endlessly as her nails scraped over his back and shoulders.
“You feel so fucking good.” His voice was a desperate rasp, sending another bolt of pleasure through her. “Tell me what you need.”
“Just this,” she gasped, tilting her hips up, grinding against him at the exact right angle, all that pressure finally reaching an excruciating peak before shattering, turning her into a gasping, shuddering mess beneath him.
He let out a strangled moan and his rhythm faltered before he picked up the pace, and she could sense that tension coiling tighter and tighter in him, too, before he finally stilled, thrusting himself as deep into her as he could go, groaning into her neck, her legs holding him tightly to her.
They lay like that for a while, still joined, trading deep, lazy kisses as Merritt traced her fingers up and down his sweat-slicked back.
I love you.
The words tightened her throat like a sob. She forced herself to swallow them down—and not just because the depth and intensity of her feelings terrified her. She’d been fooled by this kind of limerence before, acted thoughtlessly and recklessly under its thrall. It wasn’t real. It couldn’t be.
But mostly because if she said those three words out loud, they’d become a weight around his neck, tethering him to a life he was dead set on moving on from. Who was she to hold him back, when her own life had been saved by the freedom to pick up and start over?
“Still alive?” she murmured instead. He let out a rough laugh that she felt more than heard.
“Barely.” He brushed her hair off her forehead. “I forgot the rose petals.”
“I didn’t even notice.”
Eventually, he got up to deal with the condom, and she sat up, blinking, dazed as she started to gather her clothes. She wished they didn’t have to leave, but it was late, and even though they’d made it as comfortable as possible, her joints already ached from being fucked into the wood floor.
“Do you want to come over and spend the night?” asked Niko, as if reading her mind.
She hesitated. If she went home now, she’d be spared her walk of shame in the morning, slinking back in while Dev and Olivia were eating breakfast.
But what did she care? Now that they knew everything, what did she have to gain by still pretending there was nothing going on? They’d judge her no matter what she did, and at least this way, she’d get to sleep next to Niko for the first time since the power outage.
“Yeah,” she said. “I really do.”