11. Chase
CHAPTER ELEVEN
CHASE
W e’re on day four of training at Camp Bender, and we’ve been stuck inside for the last two because of the rain. There are only so many crafts and mindfulness prompts you can do before going a little stir crazy. And If I see another board game, I might just lose it. Today, though, the sun shines through the windows of the mess hall while I try to fully wake up for the day.
“Looks like we’re getting sun today!” Sami says in a singsong voice, black hair swinging behind her. She bounces on her toes as she walks toward the table, and I have no doubt her energy will be a great fit for the campers next week.
I nod while sipping on my coffee. “I hope so. We’re running out of things to do in here.”
“Hopefully, we can find some dry wood out there for the survival stuff.” She crosses her fingers on both hands. “Hey, Kayla!”
Kayla waves and heads to the food line. Her hair is pulled away from her face, exposing her neck in a way that has my eyes tracing the curve of her shoulder, down her arms, until they land at the dip in her waist, remembering. I had to stay up on that damn wall for an entire minute before I was decent enough to rejoin the group. It’s been days and I still can’t get the feeling of my arms wrapped around her out of my head, the scent of vanilla and apples etched in my brain. I realized it was apples that night, after lying in bed stewing over the fragrance for a full thirty minutes.
She comes to the table and, to my disappointment, sits across from me and far enough away that talking to her would be awkward. She did the same thing yesterday, spreading out her craft supplies to take up the space around her, and the day before, spending the entirety of the mindfulness activity alone in a corner. She’s been doing this since our moment in the air, putting distance between us, avoiding being alone for too long. I hate it. Tapping my fingers on my leg mindlessly, I remember the wall all over again. I liked having her close to me, and I’m running out of ideas on how to get closer. She interacts with everyone else, helping when she can and openly laughing and telling jokes, until I join in. When I’m added to the mix, she shuts down and bows out of the conversation. I don’t get discouraged easily, but she’s comfortably sitting behind a solid brick wall with barbed wire circling the top, and I have no footholds to help me breach it.
“Good morning, everyone,” Claire says cheerfully, walking into the mess hall from outside. She carries a backpack over one shoulder and stops at the head of the table. “Good news! We’ll be training on survival skills today. Thanks for being flexible with the weather.” She grabs items from the storage cabinet on the wall and stuffs them in her backpack as she talks. “Meet me out by the firepits in twenty,” she says, bouncing out the door.
We trickle outside and walk down the trail leading to the firepits. Birds chirp with the early morning dew, and the sun rays on my shoulders give me the boost I’ve needed since Monday.
“Hey,” I say, sidling up to Kayla.
She slides a quick glance over to me and back to the ground. “Hey…”
“Come here often?” I tease, trying to get her to smile. She does, finally, and it lights up her face. I think making her smile might be one of my favorite things.
“Only on days that end in y .” She looks my way again, green eyes glinting in the sunlight.
“Any fun plans this weekend?” I ask, hopeful she’ll say no.
“Yep. Working.”
Damn . I think this is becoming our thing. I hint at asking her out, and she shuts me down with work. She’s done it every single time, like it’s the only pastime she has. “I said fun plans…”
“Working is fun for me,” she says, mimicking my intonation.
“You don’t take any time off?”
“Nope.”
“Ever?”
She shrugs. “Not really. I need all the help I can get during the summer to pay for SSU. Unless I’m sick or injured, I’m working.”
We reach the clearing where Claire has set up smaller firepits surrounding the large one. “A little bad news,” she says, puffing out her lower lip. “The big firepit was filled with water. I bailed out what I could, but it’s unusable this morning. The good news is, this is a great time to tell you the final partner pairings for camper groups one and two—Sami and Samson, Kayla and Chase, and Kyle, you’re with me. Get with your buddy and pick a pit.”
I turn to say something witty, but Kayla is halfway to the other side of the clearing. The reserved way she acts around me sometimes leaves me confused. Am I saying the wrong things? Am I doing the wrong things? Why won’t she give me the time of day?
I follow behind and stand next to her awkwardly. When she sits, I sit. When she crosses her legs, I cross mine. This is the closest we’ve been in days, and I can’t make my brain form coherent thoughts. The sun shines off the high bun in her hair and down her shoulders as she tips her head back, face up, eyes closed. A smile creeps across her lips, and suddenly, watching her like this is another one of my new favorite things. I enjoyed it before, but this? This is different. Before, she was a mystery to be solved. Now that I know a tiny bit more, now that I’m around her almost every day, I want to be closer.
She sighs, eyes still closed. “This is nice. Warm. I forget how gloomy it gets when it rains up here.”
Still watching her, I nod in response. I can’t get my eyes to look anywhere else, or force words out of my mouth, so I nod and watch.
Claire interrupts my thoughts by dropping a box at my feet. “Here’s your flint, steel, and dry tinder,” she says in passing. I reach for the box and inspect the contents, just for something else to do other than look at Kayla.
“Wanna have a race?” Kayla asks. Surprised, I snap my head back to see her eyebrow arched over an intense, challenging stare.
“What do I get when I win?” I ask, like I’ve ever made a fire from scratch before. We use lighters in LA, but how hard can it really be? Hit a rock with some steel and make the sparks hit the dry stuff. Easy. And she’s engaging with me for once. Of course I’m going to say yes.
She chuckles at my confidence. “Loser makes s’mores for the winner at the closing firepit tonight…all night.”
“Hope you’re good at making s’mores then,” I tease back. We set up our respective piles of tinder, and on the count of three, we’re off. I’m on my knees, hitting the steel key against the rock furiously with guitar strumming motions, trying to get a spark to land down on the dry leaves. Striking faster and closer to the ground, I grit my teeth in determination. Glancing sideways at Kayla, I see her grinning from ear to ear with her hands on her hips, squatting next to a small flame. I sit back on my haunches and laugh. “Cheater. You do this every summer.”
“Here.” She squats next to me. “Hold the flint horizontally and place a little kindling on top.” Moving her hands around mine, she positions the rock in my palm. “Then strike down with the steel perpendicular to the flint, like this.” She guides my hand, imitating a strike against the flint. I shiver as her warm breath dances across my arm.
Kayla sits back, seemingly realizing the intimacy in her proximity. I clear my throat, trying to break up some of the tension. Trying again, her way this time, I get one good hit on the rock and the dry leaf lights up in a flash. “Yeah! Good! Now add that leaf to the rest and blow lightly, like you’re whistling.” She stands, hands on her hips again, with the biggest grin shining down on me. The kindling isn’t the only thing sparking on fire.
Tipping her head to the side, brows creased, she asks, “Have you ever made a fire before?”
“Not without a lighter.”
“Then why did you accept the challenge like you knew what you were doing?”
“You were talking to me again.” I shrug.
“I—what? When was I not talking to you?”
“You’ve been avoiding me ever since we got down from the climbing wall, and finally you weren’t. So…”
“I wasn’t avoiding you, Chase. I just…” She exhales loudly. “On the wall, when I had to, you know?—”
“Sit on my lap?” I offer, shooting her a sly grin.
“Yeah. That. It just made everything awkward.”
“Would it help if I said I enjoyed it?” I bite my lip in mock embarrassment.
“Oh, I felt how much you enjoyed it.” She laughs and hides her face in her hands. “ Ugh , Chase. This is the problem! You say things like that , you force me into your sweater and look at me with those eyes, and then you make me laugh. And don’t get me started on the winking…”
“These are bad things? I’m confused…”
“It’s not bad. It’s…you’re cute, and funny, and…”
“And…?” I prompt her.
“And charming.”
“Charming is a bad thing?” I say slowly, trying to understand the path of her logic.
“Believe it or not, yeah.” She puffs out her bottom lip and a shadow flickers in her eyes. “ And you’re leaving at the end of the summer. We both are.” She shrugs, as if to convince herself as much as me .
“So…I’m cute?” I ask, amused at how open she’s being with me right now.
“You would latch onto that one thing…” She shakes her head, laughing.
“Hey, those were your words, not mine.” I grin as she bumps my shoulder playfully.
I bring Kayla her second s’more of the evening while everyone chats around the fire. The sun dried out the ground enough that our last night of camp training will be spent around the flames. Tomorrow, we clean up and head home for the weekend before coming back Monday morning to meet the first group of campers.
“Thanks,” she says, making cute little grabbing motions with her hands as I walk toward her.
“A deal’s a deal.” I hand over the s’more, and the smallest drop of melted chocolate drips onto her pinkie. My eyes follow her hand as she licks it off, my heart racing the longer I stare at her lips. Do they feel as soft as they look? Noticing my gaze, Kayla clears her throat, snapping me back to the present as she looks down toward the flames. I drop my eyes and sit down on the log next to her, shoving my hands into the pocket of my hoodie. Damn it .
Kyle tunes his guitar across the pit and strums slowly, deciding which notes to play. He plucks a couple of songs, which gets the group swaying as we talk to each other. After a while, I recognize the simple chorded tune from a ’90s Britpop group my dad used to play frequently. Claire sings along, and Samson’s humming buzzes next to me while he taps his foot on the ground. Sami and Kayla’s voices join in, creating the kind of harmony that makes campfires magical. I don’t sing, but I appreciate the atmosphere. Hearing Kayla’s honeyed voice sends a frisson up my spine and goosebumps down my arms. I watch her as she sings, the smile growing wider on her face, and I’m thankful for the sheet of darkness that hides the color heating my cheeks. I’m realizing how multi-dimensional this girl is. If I thought I couldn’t be more captivated by her, I was dead wrong.
The song ends, and Kyle strums another, this one more upbeat. “Your voice is beautiful,” I whisper. “Which makes sense, considering…”
She giggles and turns to me, rolling her eyes. “Thanks, Sir Flirts-a-lot. I think it’s time for another s’more.”
“You got it.”
I glance back and see Kayla watching me across the pit as I toast a new marshmallow, unsure if the fire in her eyes is from the literal flames between us or something else. I feel it, but the jury is still out on whether she feels it too. The progress we’ve made today could all be in my mind, changing in the morning as quickly as the fickle Fort Bender weather.
“Well, I’m spent,” Claire says through a yawn, stretching her legs.
I make my way back to the log and hand the s’more to Kayla, trying not to blush at the smile she sends me.
“Kayla, you’re still on firepit duty tonight?” Claire asks.
“Yep, on it!” Kayla answers cheerfully.
Samson stands and says, “I think I’m gonna turn in too.” And the charge in the air has shifted. Sami and Kyle are opposite Kayla and me, singing and strumming in their own little twin-connected world. Kayla shifts, hugging her legs to her chest before resting her cheek on her knee.
“You gonna make it?” I ask.
“Yeah, I’m not tired. Just enjoying the fire,” she says casually, staring into the flames. I’m transfixed by the peaceful look on her face, and my fingers twitch at the thought of stroking her exposed jawline.
“Well, we’re gonna head in too,” Kyle says, walking toward us with guitar in hand.
Sami follows close behind, and when she passes me, whispers, “ You’re welcome.” Her eyes dart over toward Kayla in an obvious way, but Kayla’s stare is still lost to the flames.
The cool breeze blows through my hair, making me shiver as I pull my hood up. “You could go in, too, if you want.” Kayla’s tranquil voice coats the tension between us. “I’ll be fine out here.”
“Gotta stay with my buddy, remember?” I tease, recalling the camp rules. “S’more time?”
She pops her head up and flashes her teeth in a nervous grin. “Maybe just one more, if you don’t mind.”
“Hey, you won these fair and square. I’ll make as many as you want.” I head back to the marshmallows, roasting two this time. Maybe if my mouth is full of melted sugar, I won’t make a fool of myself. Two s’mores later, we’re sitting side by side, shoulders touching, watching the fire burn lower and lower. Our intimate quiet game will be over soon, and even though we aren’t talking, I don’t want this night to end. I turn to her, moving my legs to either side of the log.
“Wanna have a thumb war?”
She gives me a full-bodied laugh and looks in my eyes. “Really? That’s the line you’re going with?” A fit of giggles escapes her as she rocks back on the log.
“Wha—that’s not a line.” I smile, chuckling.
“Oh, it so is . You mean to tell me a thumb war isn’t your attempt to hold my hand?”
“I mean, the nature of the game is to hold hands. I don’t make the rules, I just follow them. Scared you’ll lose?” I raise my eyebrows in a challenge, staring at her. She gazes right back, and after several seconds, slowly turns her body to face me, her toes touching mine on either side of the log. She holds out her right hand, and when her eyes meet mine, they reflect the last simmering flickers of the flame. I hold my palm next to hers, and an electricity rivaling the burning embers in the ground surges through my hand as she slides her fingers against mine.
“One, two, three, four, I declare a thumb war,” we chant in unison. Our thumbs dance in the low light of what’s left of the fire. Kayla bites her lip in concentration, I lose focus, and she pins my thumb under hers.
“Ha!” she yells, triumphant. “I win?—”
“You have some chocolate…” I whisper, pointing to her lip. She takes her free hand, and my eyes follow the line she traces across her lips.
“Did I get it?” she asks breathlessly. Based on the surprised look in her eyes, I think she realizes just how close our faces have gotten. I shake my head and reach with my thumb, tracing the same line across her lips and down her chin, until my hand rests in that crease between her jaw and pulse. War hands still locked in an embrace, jade green eyes staring into my blue, I lean forward. Our breath waltzes together the closer I inch, and just before my lips press to hers, she lets go. Breathing a heavy sigh, her hand swipes at her brow and she scoots backward.
“I can’t believe I almost fell for that one,” she muses out loud. Her face twists. “You’re good… Did I even have chocolate on my face?”
I shrug. “I…uh…guess we’ll never know.” Smooth, Chase . What the hell was that?
Kayla stands and grabs the shovel leaning against the table, before mixing up the ashes in the pit. She throws water on what’s left of the smoldering embers, dousing the glow and drenching the tendrils of whatever just happened between us. I grab the leftover dessert supplies, and we walk silently to the mess hall, a significant distance between us. Inside the activity center, the dark hallway all but consumes her retreating form as I wait by the exit to escort her to her cabin, like a good little camp buddy. I need to find a way to salvage this night—hell, this whole week.
Walking to our cabins in silence, we stop just short of her building. “Goodnight, Chase,” she says with finality, not chancing a look at me as she turns toward her door.
I grab her hand, turning her to face me. “Kayla, wait.” I pull her toward me, my hand finding the dip in her waist. Having her this close again is mind-numbing, and it’s all I can do not to capture her mouth with mine. She doesn’t pull away, but she doesn’t look at me either. As I cup her cheek, my heart beats rapidly in my chest. “I?—”
“Chase, we can’t,” she whispers. But I don’t miss her tongue darting out over her bottom lip.
“Why not?” I lean in, feeling pulled into her orbit.
“Because we…work together…” her voice trails breathlessly.
My hand drifts from her cheek to her chin, lifting her head until our eyes meet. I want a taste of her so damn bad, but only if she wants it too. “Okay, fair enough,” I whisper. She looks at my mouth as she bites her lip. “I can wait for you. But I think you should know…” I dip down close enough that the tip of our noses touch. “I have every intention of falling for you this summer.”
She inhales sharply, eyes widening as she lowers her head toward the ground. Feeling satisfied, I drop my hands and walk backward to my cabin. “Night, Kayla.”