40. Kayla
CHAPTER FORTY
KAYLA
L ast night should have been the pinnacle of the summer. I landed the internship of my dreams. I got to see my portfolio come to life. My boyfriend told me he loves me.
Right after getting caught with someone else.
The biggest night of my life, permanently marred by the image of my boyfriend tangled up together with the girl he told me not to worry about.
Why would he kiss her?
Seeing them left me feeling so small, and all I wanted to do was crawl into the deepest hole. Him yelling “I love you” in front of everyone just added to my embarrassment, like being loud about it would erase everything he did. But it didn’t. I saw them, and I can’t just ignore reality, no matter how much I wanted to say it back.
I love him, but I need to love myself more.
Blinking rapidly, I take a deep breath in through my nose and choke down a sob, remembering the two of them on the fountain. No more tears.
The girl looking back at me in the mirror is all cried out. A three-hour car ride’s worth of sobbing and several more hours in my bed was enough. I didn’t sleep well, but at least it stopped the waterfall. There will be no more.
I’m done .
My red-rimmed eyes ache as I scan over the puffy remnants in my reflection. With a sigh, I drop my eyes and slide my hand behind the shower curtain to turn on the water.
I can’t believe I fell for it…again.
The charm, the eyes, the convincing words. Chase laid the bait, and I fell for it all, hook, line, and sinker. My danger sensors were blaring at the beginning of the summer, but I cut the plug on all of them, even after seeing Maggie’s infatuation.
Maybe Maggie planned this…
No. I know what I saw, and I only have myself to blame.
Stupid .
I strip and climb into the shower, hoping the scalding cascade burns into my skin and seeps some sense back into my body.
Stupid .
That’s the only explanation I’ve been able to come up with. Work and the internship should have been my only focus this summer, but I let a stupid guy get into my stupid head, and he ended up doing the exact same thing the last stupid guy did.
What’s worse is that I told Chase all about Evan. I let go of my better judgment and trusted him with my heart. I trusted him to treat me differently because he made me feel special. And I wanted to believe, for once, that I was special. I gave him the power to devastate me.
And he did.
It’s my own fault for trusting him. I should have known better. I did know better. The common factor in both instances of heartache is me. Me and my stupidity. But that stops here and now.
I’m done .
So I wash the memories away. I cleanse the caresses from my face, scrub his touch from my skin, and wash all his lies down the drain. I strip him from my hair and from my life .
When I get out of the shower and look back at my reflection, I recognize who I see. This Kayla, guarded and safe, just like I was at the start of summer, is familiar. This is the girl who’s going to push this mess to the back shelf and move on. She’s the one who’s going to march into the bedroom, slap a look together, and tie up her hair. This is the Kayla who’s going to drive across town and stick up for herself.