Chapter 14
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Colin sat next to me on the bed and took my hand. We stared into each other’s eyes as he kissed my hand. Then he did it again.
I was speechless.
Drawn to the fire.
Enamored.
“Haven’t you thought of the kiss?” he asked.
“Yes,” I replied. I’d thought of a lot more than that.
“It was a great kiss,” he said, his thumb tracing circles on my hand.
I smiled involuntarily and looked down at our hands together.
Colin lifted my chin with his other hand, and before I had a chance to reason with myself, before I made a pros and cons list about kissing this man before I’d gotten more information out of him, before I could stop myself—we were kissing on his bed.
Colin’s hands were in my hair, caressing my face, sliding down my back. My lips molded perfectly to his with every kiss. I wanted to fight the feelings and take control of the situation, but a voice inside me kept saying: This is what you want. He is what you want.
He broke away for a second to say, “Kate, you’re everything I’ve always wanted in a woman.”
He kissed me again, and I threw my arms around his neck, which prompted him to pull me on top of him. I sat on his lap, our embrace tighter and our kisses more urgent.
He broke away again, but this time it was to move his lips along my neck, kissing his way down to the space between my breasts. I breathed heavier, my chest heaving with each long drag of air.
Of him.
“Colin,” I said when it became clear we’d soon reach a point of no return if he kept on in this direction. “Colin,” I said again as his hand tightened around my hip.
“Yes?” he responded breathily.
I pushed on his chest, fear bubbling up to the surface. “Why? Why are you so interested in me?”
He smiled up at me, and I was pulled ever so slowly into his eyes.
“You’re sweet. A good friend. A wonderful daughter.
I love hearing you talk about your mom and your dad and how much you miss him.
Obviously, you’re a great worker, but I’d like you all the same even if you did a crap job, which you don’t.
I enjoy being around you. You make me feel…
free. I’m not sure you can understand what I mean.
I usually have to portray myself in a certain way to protect the Gordon name.
With you, I can’t even recall my name. I can be anyone when I’m with you. ”
My heart ached with every word. Was it possible that he remembered everything I’d told him about my parents the night of our dinner date? I’d never had a guy hang onto my every word, much less tell me he liked hearing me talk. That’s probably why I’d never been in a serious relationship.
No one ever took me seriously. Not any of my previous dates, nor my ex-friends. I was the side character—good for a scene and then written off the page. But now, Colin was giving me main character energy.
“You make me sound so great,” I said, squeezing his hands.
He squeezed them back and thawed me with his stare. “You are. It sounds like I’m going to have to tell you that every day until you believe me.”
My face got even hotter. “You don’t understand.
No one’s ever spoken to me like this. I’ve had plenty of dates throughout the years.
A boyfriend in college. But he and I realized quickly that we weren’t really into each other when we returned home for Christmas break and didn’t call each other once. This is all very new.”
“And what I don’t understand is how anyone would want to let you out of their sight for so long,” he said, running the back of his hand along my cheek. Then he pulled me closer, and we kissed, a soft union of our lips that reflected the beautiful words he’d been speaking.
I was having trouble being rational with his words still floating in the air all around me. But then, a little nagging something began to wake me up. I opened my eyes and stood up. I was suddenly on high alert.
“What’s wrong?” he asked, his face awash in confusion.
“I should probably get ready. I take a while, and you heard what Malia said. Eight PM sharp!” I walked over to my suitcase and started unzipping it.
“Yes, that’s probably a good idea.” He spoke slowly. “I’ll let you do that. I should go down to the boathouse anyway and see what the damage was to my kayak. Apparently, it was my younger brother who took it on a joyride earlier this month.”
I smiled and nodded. He rolled up his sleeves on the way to the door, flashing me a smile as his forearms came into view. I returned to my suitcase and its contents, taking out my bag of toiletries, and finally heaving a sigh of relief when I was alone in the room. Away from his bulging forearms.
It took me a moment to recover from wanting him and from the fact that if I hadn’t stopped us, we’d be doing something I really, really wanted to do with him on that bed.
I shook my head and then my whole body, as if that would do the trick of getting those feelings out of my system.
It didn’t work. I would just have to power through.
Before going into the bathroom, I ran around the room, searching the drawers and the desk by the door that led to a balcony. I had to keep pushing down the pangs of guilt and shame in what I was doing.
If there were any sign that Maggie was in Colin’s life in any way other than just the company, I’d have my answer. But nothing turned up. It was all orderly stationery and folded white undershirts, underwear, and socks. Not even an old love note or a picture.
I looked around at the walls and on top of the chests. No picture frames. No mementos from childhood, like trophies or hobby model airplanes. This might easily have been an impersonal hotel room.
After a lovely shower with water sprays coming at me from every direction and fragrant body gels and lotions slathered all over, I got ready for the evening ahead with my usual hair and makeup routine, adding a touch more shimmer to my eyelids.
I was about to put on lipstick when I jumped at a knock on the bathroom door.
“Kate,” called Colin’s muffled voice from the other side. “Just wanted to let you know I’m back. When you’re finished, I’ll freshen up.”
“I’m almost done!” I called out, applying the lipstick and then slipping into the dress I’d chosen for the rehearsal dinner.
I opened the door, and Colin, whose upper body lay on the bed while his feet remained planted on the floor, sat up on his elbows.
His eyebrows shot up, and he exclaimed, “Wow!”
My face broke into a smile. I took a step out into the room and gave a little spin.
“Looks okay?”
“More than just OK,” he said, standing up and pulling me toward him. Then he spun me around until we were both facing the full-length mirror. His hands rested on my hips, and his chin leaned on the side of my head. “Don’t you see what I see?”
“I wore this dress to my cousin’s wedding,” I said, watching his admiring gaze with interest.
“The dress is great,” he said, looking at the form-fitting purple dress and then coming back to my eyes. “But you make the dress look amazing.”
“You’re too sweet,” I said. I found it hard to grasp that this was the same Colin Slade who stood at the head of boardroom tables and had people bringing him coffee and giving him presentations. The same one who’d been so formal and almost robot-like in Chicago.
“I call it like I see it. If there’s one thing I am, it’s honest,” he said.
My insides twisted. Honest? I shook my head. “Go take a shower before we’re late.”
He nodded and kissed my cheek before walking into the bathroom. I sat on the bed wondering how he was able to lie so blatantly the other day and then seem so innocent now in the mirror while he called himself honest.
By the time he’d finished showering and getting ready, I’d already had an entire conversation with Angie over the phone in which I told her about the mansion I was staying in and meeting Colin’s mother.
What I didn’t share with her were my doubts, having caught Colin in a lie, and searching his room for…
I had no idea what I’d been searching for exactly. But I’d know it if I saw it.
When he emerged looking like a model for a cologne commercial, I felt a hint of pride in being the one to stand by his side all night.
“What’s the smile for?” he asked, walking to a drawer and taking out a cologne bottle. If only there were a camera pointed at him, we’d have a million-dollar campaign on our hands.
I hadn’t realized I was smiling. “You are…well, you must know what you are.”
The left corner of his lip and his left eyebrow stretched upward. “I want to know what you think.”
“Well… I… If you must know…” I stammered, a heat rising within me as he slowly made his way toward me.
“I must know,” he said, reaching my side and sliding his hand on my hip.
What was this man doing to me? A shower and cologne, and he had my panties in a twist? I’d forgotten my main reason for coming along for this weekend, it seemed.
I was tired. Tired of being passed over, ignored, and never chosen. Tired of not fighting for what I wanted and accepting whatever came my way. Tired of letting life happen and not making it happen.
“You look good enough in your suit for me to take it off,” I said. My heart beat out of my chest. I’d probably never said anything like that to a man in all my life. I knew I hadn’t. But my fear of sounding silly evaporated the second I said it because of Colin’s reaction.
He shut his eyes and gripped my side where his hand had been resting.
“You can’t do this to me right as we’re about to leave the room.” He took a deep breath as if composing himself. I also took a deep breath, acknowledging that it was likely things might heat up in a way I wasn’t expecting.
Our mouths twisted and turned nervously until we both started laughing.
“I’m so happy you came this weekend,” he said, taking my hand and kissing it, the elation clear on his face.