Chapter 8 Sebastian #2
“She will need a new bodyguard, and it cannot be me.” Vidal gave him a sanguine look. “My place is with you.”
Resting his knuckles against the desk, Sebastian nodded. “Do you have someone in mind?”
“Yes. It will take me about forty-eight hours to get him here. Until then, your detail will handle both of you.” Vidal stepped back to let a porter enter and set down a tray with coffee and sandwiches.
He waited for the man to finish and leave before continuing.
“Until then, eat, discuss what you need to with His Highness, and I will escort you back to the stateroom.”
“You’re venturing perilously close to giving me orders, Vidal.” He gave the other man a wry smile. Few would dare to step over the line with him, but he and Vidal had been together since Sebastian’s sixteenth birthday. He was the closest thing to a friend Sebastian allowed himself.
“If one were inclined to instruct a brat prince on his behavior, then perhaps it would be. However, you have been through enough the last few days and you need to settle things with Miss Blake. I can handle security and any other issues…”
“Vidal?” He was going to do something he’d never done.
“Yes, Your Highness?”
Sebastian stared at Vidal’s cool features. He’d been privy to their relationship from the beginning. He’d helped to keep Meredith’s identity a secret, even from the family. “Can she handle it?”
“It’s not my place to answer the question.
” Vidal’s answer was not what Sebastian wanted to hear.
“However, if one were inclined to give romantic advice, I would suggest being honest with her. She means far more to you than you’ve ever told her.
You have made many crucial decisions regarding her without consulting her.
If she is to be your partner, perhaps you should allow her to be so. Make your call, sir.”
It was the closest thing to a stamp of approval he was likely to receive and Vidal was right. He and Meredith had a great many things to discuss. Picking up the handset, he dialed Armand’s private number and waited. His brother answered on the first ring.
“Are you safe?” Yes, his autocratic brother cared—oftentimes more than he demonstrated.
“Yes, and unharmed.” Save for the ten years he’d lost when he’d realized what was about to happen and how close he’d come to losing Meredith.
“We are on board and the captain is taking us out to deep water.” They would run under a different flag and adjust accordingly for the time being, avoiding any port waters.
“Send Miss Blake home and stay there until I can make other arrangements. We will cancel the Belarian trip and deal with them another way.”
It was so like Armand to give him instructions, but the relief in his brother’s voice was profound.
“No.” Sending her away wasn’t open to negotiation. Neither was canceling the visit to Belaria. “We cannot let them drive us underground. I will not stop living my life for them. I already gave up five years under the presumption I needed to.”
“Sending her away is a reasonable response—”
“If I were feeling reasonable, I would agree with you. I am not. If I send her away now, I risk losing her entirely.”
“You chance getting her killed if you keep her there.” He understood the tightness in Armand’s voice wasn’t anger, but fear. While Sebastian shared the emotion, his worry went deeper.
“She thinks I’m keeping her as a mistress. I cannot let her feel discarded. I can’t.” Surely his brother wouldn’t force him to decide between his family and Meredith, not now. Not after everything. “Do not make me choose, brother.”
“Have you told her?” The truth? The whys behind every step—and apparently his missteps? That he loved her above all others?
“No,” he admitted. “But I am planning to.” As soon as he got off the phone. Meredith Blake was not his mistress and, by God, she would know it.
“Sebastian, be careful.” Armand’s tone changed. “Once you make this decision, it changes everything for her.”
“It’s not only mine to make anymore.” It hadn’t ever truly been, but he’d thought she understood. Only it wasn’t the case—the misunderstanding bothered him more and more.
“Be safe. We’re going to handle this. You take care of your lady. I would very much like to meet her.”
If only wishing made it so. “Take care of Anna and Alyx. How many papers have the pregnancy?”
“Only the online gossip columns, but it won’t be long now.
” So, the ticking clock on the world’s speculation had run out, and they were not fully prepared.
The paparazzi were only a piece of the puzzle and more nuisance than anything.
When Belaria learned, the royalists would take it to heart. Therein lay the real problem.
“And George?”
“We’ve already made arrangements and set up a new name for him.
He will not enjoy being out of the limelight, but we’ve impressed it upon him.
Mother was entertaining our cousins, and they are all going to take a very long trip to the country house.
” Armand didn’t have to say the very private and secure country house, since Sebastian understood the decision.
“Is that wise?” Sebastian frowned.
“I do not think they are targets. It’s the family name they want to wipe out, which means they’ll likely focus on the three of us and Anna.”
“And Meredith…”
“Yes.” Armand agreed, and they were both silent for a long moment. “Sebastian, did you truly think I would order you not to see her?”
“Brother, you were very unhappy for a long time. You saw only political ramifications and the potential fallout. Also, you did not trust women.” Sebastian hadn’t enjoyed his brother’s estrangement from Anna. He’d been a miserable bastard.
“Perhaps you’re right.” Armand’s admission didn’t make Sebastian feel better. “For what it’s worth, I advise caution. If she cannot—”
“I know.” He didn’t want to discuss what it would mean if Meredith rejected his life. It would break him. “Keep me informed, and do not cancel the Belaria trip. Now, more than ever, we need to show them they cannot hunt us to extinction. If we run, brother, we will never stop.”
He was damn tired of running. They spoke for a few minutes more. Sebastian drank a cup of the coffee and picked at one of the sandwiches. Once they’d disconnected, he took the time to check on O’Connor’s condition. He’d promised her he would, after all.
Leaving his office, he said nothing to Vidal and the nurse excused herself the moment he stepped into his suite. Meredith sat on the bed, a blanket draped over her legs. She’d showered and changed into one of his shirts.
When the others left, he crossed the room and studied her. Some of her color returned, thanks to the shower he supposed, and she didn’t look quite so rocky, but he wanted to be sure. “How are you?”
“You were right about the shock. The doctor gave me something to calm my nerves.” Her smile was wan, and she fisted the blanket. “I ate some of the soup, but they brought more food. A proper meal because I wanted to eat with you.”
He nodded slowly. “Good. Are you up to talking or would you prefer to eat and sleep?”
She gave him a long, uncertain look and bit her lower lip. “You’re angry with me.” It wasn’t a question.
“Extremely,” he admitted. “But it can wait. You need to rest.” Her health came before all else.
“We need to talk,” she admitted.
He took the invitation at her word and nodded.
“There are three things you need to know. The first is I have had no lover other than you since we met.” Even knowing what she thought, the surprise in her eyes hurt, but he stayed his course.
“Secondly, the only reason I never told my family about you was because I did not want Armand to order me to end the relationship. Had he done so, I would have been forced to choose between my duty and my love. My family needed me then and they need me now. I did not want to have to abandon them.”
Her eyes filled with tears. While he wished desperately to comfort her, some truths were better harsh.
“Lastly, at no point have I ever considered you my mistress. If anything, you were my lady. One I waited to claim so you could have the life and the future you craved. The life I could not give you. The life I believed, until a few hours ago, you chose for yourself.” He exhaled slowly and remained standing, his gaze fixed on her though he longed with every molecule to join her on the bed.
He longed to reassure himself in every way how very alive and vital she remained.
But sex, it seemed, complicated their comprehension of each other. He could not let it cloud their judgment or their understanding, not this time.
“I—my future?” She sat forward, her frown intense. “I don’t understand. What future did you think I craved that you couldn’t give me?”
There was the crux of it—Meredith didn’t understand.
“Meredith Blake is a doctor of mathematics, a skilled lecturer, and a highly in demand theorist. She’s respected in her field and one of the youngest professors to receive tenure.
She is amazingly gifted, deeply respected, and—” He recalled Daniel’s reaction to her.
“—highly prized for her abilities and work. She is, in all things, at the top of her field with a very vibrant future. Did you not say you have received multiple offers? You’ve published four times in five years, and your work is invaluable.
You have provided insights, which have made or broken projects.
All of those things were possible because you were not Meredith Dagmar, princess and wife of the second Andraste son.
As my wife, you would have led an altogether different life, one you suffered a taste of today. ”
Her eyes widened, and she sucked in a noisy breath. Sebastian barely smiled because it seemed unlikely she could have manufactured her response, yet…how could she not have realized?
“I had no idea.”