Chapter 36
Him
He can barely climb into his truck, he’s so tired.
But he’s got a new job starting today, and he can’t afford to be late.
He hoists himself in, then leans back against the grimy headrest to catch his breath.
As his heavy eyelids droop, he sees the images again, and despite how he’s feeling, they make him smile.
Because they’re the reason he stayed up most of the night staring at his laptop.
The five photos that he couldn’t drag his eyes away from.
He enjoyed zooming in on the bits he wanted to see more of, stroking her young, fresh features through the screen.
Yes, it had made him yearn for things beyond his grasp, and that had brought a certain amount of frustration. But it was worth it.
She is worth it.
He drops the old Ford into gear and pulls out of the trailer park and onto the I-11 highway.
His life wasn’t supposed to turn out this way.
He had dreams once. Ha! Imagine that. A fuck-up like him believing he could make something of himself in Vegas.
He’d known within a year that it wasn’t going to happen, but he’d kept pretending for another ten or so.
Drugs are good like that, making you think that anything’s possible when evidence to the contrary is staring you in the fucking eye.
He’s done with that now though. Moved on.
He knows who he is, what he’s capable of, and what he isn’t.
He’s got weaknesses, yeah, but there are worse men than him out there.
So if everyone just leaves him alone, doesn’t question why he goes straight home after work every night, except that one night a week when he feeds a habit too good to break, then life will be fine. Not perfect, but fine.
Except now he knows it could be more than fine.
He grips the steering wheel, fights the urge to press hard on the accelerator.
Jesus, he wants access to her, real physical access.
I think it would make sense for me to meet Maple. I just need to figure out how best to arrange it.
Really, he should have thought of an actual plan before responding, a way to see Maple without her mom asking questions or getting in the way.
But he was too excited about the photos, too impatient to download them to his computer so he could study them in detail.
So he wrote the first thing that came to mind, a holding message to give himself time to think.
Because does he definitely want to see her? He has the photos now. Maybe they could be enough. He knows that anything more brings risk, the potential for things to go very wrong. The thought makes his cheeks feel hot behind his beard, despite the aircon blasting in his face.
But he’s been choosing the easy option his whole life, hasn’t he?
The coward’s way out. Isn’t it time for him to be brave?
To go the fuck out there and grab what he wants for a change?
And it might not be that hard, anyway. When he sent that first email, he knew it was suspicious.
No name or address for his fake modeling agency in case she Googled it.
A gender-neutral name, no surname. Requesting the photos via Telegram and pretending it was for Maple’s benefit not his. But that woman still fell for it all.
Maybe setting up a face-to-face meeting wouldn’t be that hard either.
Of course that wouldn’t be the end of it. There would be a rocky road ahead, lots of decisions to make, and plenty of convincing to do. But it might work. Maybe – some fucking sliver of a maybe, for sure – Maple would learn to love him like he has already learned to love her.
I really think you’ll fall in love with her if you do!
Oh Jesus Christ, if she only knew the truth.
He pulls into the staff parking lot of the MGM Grand. Drops his eyelids again. Sees her pretty face, her caramel eyes and bright smile.
He’ll think of a plan to get her back out to Vegas. He has to.
Because whatever risks lie ahead, there’s no turning back now.