Chapter 64
Kirsten
@Jessiewantsapuppy, TikTok
You know, I feel sorry for Maybe Maple. I get that she’s a bit of a social media whore, but who made her like that? Her mom put her on YouTube from when she was a baby. Of course she chases likes to feel good about herself
‘Garrett, I’ve got this,’ I say, forcing authority into my voice. Because we’re broke, and I’m done with his macho bullshit.
‘Ash, Aspen, get out of the pool,’ he says, ignoring me. ‘Go inside and get dry.’
I watch my children splash toward the edge like they’re being chased by a bull shark and decide to stay quiet. It’s never smart to fight a battle you can’t win.
As the children slide the glass door into the kitchen closed behind them, Garrett turns to me. ‘What are you doing?’ he asks accusingly. ‘Why are you filming them?’
‘Because we need to eat. And you don’t have a job. And it’s a sweet gig to be able to earn thousands of dollars from playing in the pool.’
‘A sweet gig? Being eight years old and having your self-worth defined by likes?’ He tuts, shakes his head. ‘You put Ash and Aspen’s whole life on social media, but have you ever thought about who’s watching them? How many disgusting old men are getting off on our children?’
‘None, that’s how many,’ I throw back. How dare he suggest I don’t look out for my kids. ‘I block every weirdo who’s ever commented.’
‘And what about the ones who don’t comment? Wise up, Kirsten! Some of their videos get millions of views. How can you possibly know that none of them are weirdos?’
Urgh. It’s like he’s vomiting up those podcasts. ‘Jesus, Garrett, so what if there is!’
‘What did you say?’
I take a breath. ‘Listen, I agree that what those men do is gross, disgusting. But really, what difference does it make to the twins? Of course I wish that every one of their subscribers is a kid like them. But if a few of them don’t hit that profile, then what does it really matter?
It’s those men who are the losers, their lives so fucked up that they choose to watch eight-year-olds on YouTube.
The twins are oblivious, aren’t they? Which makes them the winners, Garrett, the ones earning money, getting famous. ’
‘We’re talking about child abuse, Kirsten! What the hell kind of person are you? No one thinks about their kids that way!’
‘I’m a pragmatist, Garrett. And do you know what, maybe you should try it sometime. Get a job that actually pays well instead of following some stupid passion for big cats.’
‘I’m trying to get a job,’ he growls. ‘You know that.’
‘Well clearly not hard enough. Which is why you need to step aside and let me save this family from ruin.’
‘You’re not saving anyone,’ he says, his voice rising again. ‘You’re destroying our kids! And I won’t allow it. Not anymore.’
I shake my head in disgust. ‘You can’t even get a fourteen-year-old to fall in line,’ I remind him. ‘So why the hell do you think you can control me? When did I become a softer touch than Maple?’
‘You?’ he throws back. ‘You’re nothing but hard edges! I just don’t understand why I didn’t see it before. Right back when you came to visit me in college.’
‘See what? That I’m ambitious? Resourceful? That I want the best for my children but am also smart enough to know the difference between actual child abuse and woke bullshit?’ My voice is loud now, possibly in range of our neighbors’ garden. I should lower it, but I can’t; I’m too mad.
‘That you don’t give a shit about other people,’ Garrett says. ‘And you’ll do anything to get what you want.’
‘Why should I apologize for being strong-willed? Look around you, Garrett. I did this. I gave you this beautiful home!’
He cracks out a laugh so bitter it hurts my head. ‘I didn’t ask for this house. Neither did the twins. This is your vanity project, Kirsten. Perhaps Maple wanted it too – you’ve always worked so hard to reproduce her in your image – but even she’s had enough of you now!’
‘And look how much good that’s done her,’ I throw back.
‘All those new followers who were drooling over her content last week are turning on her now. And Selena Hart was always going to win; she’s been the queen of this for twenty years.
If you’d stopped Maple when I asked you to, she wouldn’t be suffering now. ’
‘It’s always my fault with you, isn’t it?’ he hisses. ‘Like you had no hand in it.’
‘It was you who refused to father Maple properly,’ I spit back. ‘It was as though the day she told you she was scared of spiders, you backed off, like it gave you the excuse you were looking for. At least I loved Maple from day one, and never stopped. I’d do anything for her.’
‘Except be honest!’ he shouts back. ‘Except tell her that we’d been apart for over two years when you knocked on my college room door that night, begging for my help!’
‘Shut up, Garrett.’
‘And that the man she calls Dad is just some schmuck who fell for her pregnant mom’s fake charm!’