Chapter 18 #3
I cover my face and half-laugh, half-sob.
“I was never like this—the kind of person who can’t figure things out on her own.
The kind of woman that lets herself be bullied and abused.
I wanted to… I still want to stand up for myself and the other women my ex treated horribly.
” I glare at the table, anger pulsing through me again.
“Then let me help you stand up for yourself! Let’s go to the police, Wren. Let’s figure this out.”
I look away from John’s determined, penetrating gaze.
He wants to fix this, but it’s unfixable.
“When I chose the second option, death, when Trey was driving, he didn’t drive off the cliff.
But he did total his car—that stupidly, ridiculously expensive car he’d been waiting for.
He drove us through the safety fence and into the rock wall.
I passed out, and when I came to, a police car was pulling up, the sirens on.
My ex told me to keep my mouth shut or he would tell everyone I was the one at the wheel, and I was drinking and driving. Even though I wasn’t.”
John stands and paces, his fists clenched and jaw rigid.
“The police could have quickly ascertained that you weren’t driving.
He couldn’t have gotten away with lying.
You could have asked for a blood alcohol test. And they would have established that your bruising and the injuries you sustained weren’t consistent with being in the driver’s seat. ”
I shake my head. “It wouldn’t have mattered.
My ex has a lot of influence… and money.
And by that point, I had already found out all the things that had happened with other women he had been with.
They were demolished by his lies. He looks impeccable from a distance, and he keeps everyone just distant enough. ”
John pounds a fist against the cabinet.
I stand and gently take his arms and wrap them around me, so he can hold me instead. “It’s okay,” I whisper. “Please don’t get mad.”
His kisses are gentle and warm at first. Comforting.
Until he pulls me closer, and they become harder, searching, but still so achingly tender.
He pulls away, his eyes hard. “Each time I kiss you, you’ll forget more and more until he won’t be up here anymore.
” He kisses my forehead. “A thousand ways to kill Trey.” I press into him, return his kisses, and he drags me in even closer.
“I’m going to erase what he’s done to you.
” His eyes burn into mine with determination.
“What about the rule?” I ask. “That could be dangerous.”
He traces the line of my collarbone with his lips then looks at me. “Did you say something?” he says hoarsely. It’s hard for me to focus when your lips are so close.”
I lean into him, laughing.
“Let’s sit on the front porch,” he says. “The rules don’t apply out there.”
“I have a better idea.” I look at him tentatively, wondering if he’ll be angry. “Let’s finish that puzzle.”
He groans then lifts me up and kisses me while he fumbles his way to the sunroom, with me in his arms. When he sets me down, he tilts my chin up.
“That’s it for now. You have to stop kissing me.
I know I’m irresistible but try to keep your hands off me.
I’m finishing this damn puzzle now, come hell or high water. ”
In the morning, John brings me a tray packed with food before I’ve even had a chance to open my eyes.
“It looks like my Aunt Birdie was here,” I tell him groggily, taking in the blueberry pancakes, eggs, bacon, a big bowl of fruit, orange juice, and a little glass bowl with what looks like a piece of gummy candy.
“Stay in bed and eat all that,” he orders, his expression severe.
I poke at the piece of candy. “Is this my treat for staying in bed and eating this whole tray full of food, which is five times as much as I normally eat?”
“You live on a ranch, you have to eat like a ranch hand.”
“Am I shoveling cow manure after this?”
“Why would you do that? Our cows are grass-fed and pasture-raised. We like all that manure in the field nourishing our grass.”
“Oh.”
“It’s a prenatal vitamin. Danni brought them,” he says.
I stare down at it, tears welling in my eyes.
“You don’t have to eat everything, if that’s why you’re crying,” he teases me. “Just what you like. I didn’t know what you’d want, so I made everything I could think of.”
“No… I mean, yes, I’m okay,” I gulp out. “I just… I cry when people do nice things for me. Danni didn’t have to bring me the vitamins, and you didn’t have to bring this beautiful breakfast, and I felt so alone for the last couple years, so everything you’re doing hits me here.” I rub at my heart.
He kneels down and tugs the napkin from the tray and hands it to me, so I can blot at my eyes.
“And,” I whisper, “I’m more teary than usual because of the pregnancy hormones.”
“I’m glad you’re not crying because I’m making you miserable,” he says gruffly.
I smile and lay a hand on his cheek. “You’re making me the direct opposite of miserable.”
He leaves, then returns with a pile of books and places them next to me in the bed. He stares me down until I say, “Okay. I’ll stay in bed.” When I say it, I don’t realize it’s going to be a lie.