Chapter 28 Giselle
GISELLE
I climbed the steps to Thayer and Kason’s house.
Thayer and Shay both had class, so I knew Kason and I would be alone.
I’d given him enough time to be pissed at us.
I pushed open the front door and stepped inside, looking around the empty first floor.
I climbed the stairs to the second-floor, and his door was closed. I lifted my hand and knocked lightly.
“Fuck off.”
“Kason, it’s me.”
He didn’t respond, but I didn’t care. Enough was enough. I opened the door and stepped inside his room. He was sprawled on his bed with his arms crossed over his face. “I said, ‘fuck off.’”
“I deserve that,” I said.
“You both do,” he muttered, lowering his arms and sitting up. He looked past me, likely expecting Thayer to be there too.
“We’re sorry we didn’t tell you sooner.”
“Stop saying we.”
I needed a different approach if I was going to get through to him. “You never liked Gino,” I reminded him.
“Didn’t mean I wanted you with my best friend.”
“Why not?” I asked.
“You just got out of a three-year relationship. Maybe you just don’t want to be alone. You can do that with anyone.”
“Wow. You think that little of me? You really think this is a rebound?”
“Why Thayer?” he asked.
I considered all the things that made me sure Thayer was the guy I was supposed to be with.
His unwavering loyalty. How much he cared about me.
How he always seemed to find me in a crowded room.
The way he moved so smoothly on a snowboard.
What his body felt like, tangled up with mine.
How he always put me on a pedestal, even when I didn’t deserve it.
I wanted to be the person he saw when he looked at me. “Because with Thayer, I feel like me.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“You had to notice that I lost myself with Gino.”
“I didn’t notice that at all,” he said.
I tipped my head to the side. “You were a little preoccupied with all things Kason.” I walked over and sat down beside him. I expected him to move away from me, but he didn’t. “You had to see that things with me weren’t fun anymore. I wasn’t fun anymore.”
“You were never fun,” he grumbled.
I rolled my eyes.
“He’s been with a lot of girls.”
“Yeah, well, I’m guessing you have too. But Shay still loves you.”
“You love him?” he asked, as if the thought hadn’t crossed his mind until now.
“There’s a lot to love.”
He closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose as if pained by my words.
“And just so you know, I did call you after I saw Carlo. You didn’t answer your phone.”
He dropped his hand and met my eyes. “You were going to tell me?”
“Of course I was.”
“Then why all the secrecy?”
“Honestly?”
He nodded.
“This was bigger than I could handle. And the last thing I needed was you doing something crazy.”
“You’re my sister. Of course, I would’ve done something crazy.”
We both fell silent. I hoped he was considering what I’d said. He was the final obstacle standing in the way of our happiness. Everything would be so much easier if he was okay with it. “You’re going to have to forgive us, you know.”
“Says who?”
“We weren’t trying to hurt you, Kase. We just fell for each other. You can’t fault us for that.”
He was quiet again for a long time, but I waited him out. We weren’t finished. This was our chance to lay it all out on the table. “How long’s it been going on?” he finally asked.
“We had a moment after his mom’s funeral. And I screwed it up.”
“What’d you do?”
“He tried to kiss me, and I got all weird and rejected him. It’s been a long year of trying to ignore my feelings for him.”
“Why wouldn’t you tell me?” he asked, the hurt evident in his tone.
“Well, I wasn’t even admitting it to myself, so there was no way I’d admit it to anyone else.”
“But you two got together,” he said.
“In Park City.”
“Right under my fucking nose,” he grumbled.
“I wasn’t even sure what was going on. I was still with Gino.
My world just got flipped upside down. It was a lot to process.
I finally decided to tell Gino it was over, and then Carlo happened.
To say it’s been a bumpy road would be an understatement.
We were just trying to figure it all out without you getting upset with us on top of it all. ”
“And that’s exactly what I did.”
“I get it. He’s your best friend,” I said. “But he’s also an amazing guy. I would think you’d want that for me.”
“I do. I just…”
“What?”
“I just don’t want to hear anything about my sister.”
I laughed. “You know Thayer’s not one to gossip.”
“I can’t promise I won’t hit him again,” he admitted.
“I’m going to need you not to hit him.”
“But I’m so fucking pissed at him,” he said.
“Can’t you just be pissed at me?” I asked.
“Oh, I am. But when I think of the two of you together, knowing all the stuff I know…”
“Kase, I know Thayer. And I know he’s one of the good ones.
We all do crazy stuff when we’re young. We make mistakes with the wrong people.
But that slate gets wiped clean when you find the right one.
I’m not concerned with his past. And he’s not holding my past with Gino against me.
So, whatever you see when you look at the two of us together, just know, we don’t care about that stuff. We just care about each other.”
He thought about my words for a long time, and I hoped he heard the truth in them. We all have things in our pasts that we’re not proud of. But those things are what shape us and make us better people. He of all people should know that.
“Don’t expect to go on double dates with me and Shay,” he finally said.
“I wouldn’t dream of it.”
“And, I don’t want you sleeping here,” he continued.
“That’s fair. But just know, if we’re not here, we’re at Mom and Dad’s.”
“Let them deal with it,” he said.
I tried not to smile, but I could tell that he’d eventually come around. That’s what siblings did. And, beneath it all, he loved both of us. And, he’d realize that was more important than staying mad at us.