Chapter Four #3
“See what?” she mumbled, still trapped in the rapture of his kiss.
“Once will never do. Kissing you, holding you will only make me yearn for more. I can’t get involved with a woman. Not now.
You couldn’t possibly understand.” His hands roamed up and down her back as if he couldn’t bring himself to break away.
“No, I don’t,” Lesley admitted. “But I know that I like the feel of this.” Standing on the tips of her toes, her hands on
his shoulders, she pressed her mouth ardently over his.
Cole groaned and pulled her closer, kissing her long and hard.
Lesley broke the pressure and nestled her head to his chest, a gentle smile curving the corners of her mouth. She didn’t know
what was troubling Cole, but for now he cared more about holding her. A feeling of triumph filled her. Her mouth throbbed
from his kisses, and his ragged breath stirred the short tendrils at the side of her face.
“Lesley, we’ve got to talk.”
“No.” She kissed his strong neck. “If we talk, you’ll push me away. And you’ve pushed me away for a long time, Cole Daniels.”
“Be reasonable.”
“How can I?”
His foot swung out and cleared a path so that they could move into the living room. The only light in the room came from the
moon, and it was nearly impossible to maneuver in the darkness.
“Here,” Lesley said, a smile evident in her voice.
“Let me lead. At least I know where the couch is.”
“I know where everything is in this apartment,” he muttered in a husky tone.
“How?”
“Don’t you realize I can hear you? Some nights you drove me crazy. I’d picture you . . .” He paused and expelled his breath.
“Never mind.”
They sat, and immediately Cole looped his arm around her shoulder, bringing her close to his side. One hand slid around his
ribs and she pressed her face to his solid chest.
“Cole,” she said, not knowing where to begin, “tell me what you’re doing here.”
She felt him stiffen.
“What do you mean . . . doing here?”
“You don’t have a job. How do you support yourself?”
“Because you allow a man to kiss you, does that give you the right to interrogate him?”
“No. Forget I asked, I don’t care.”
“Right now, with you in my arms, I don’t either.” The words were spoken so low that Lesley had to strain to hear him.
Afraid to ask anything more, Lesley didn’t speak, content to be in his arms. After a while she realized by the even fall and rise of his chest that Cole had fallen asleep.
Sometimes she wondered when he slept. No matter when she was up, early morning or late at night, so was Cole.
Several times when she’d happened to catch a glimpse of him, she thought he was a man who had driven himself to the limits of his endurance. Now, in her arms, he slept peacefully.
Even when the lights came back on, Cole didn’t stir. Lesley disentangled herself from his embrace, gently placed his head
on a decorator pillow from the end of the sofa and covered him with a blanket.
She picked up the contents of the drawer and replaced it in the slot. Another hour passed before she ate the beef stew that
had been simmering on the stove. Still Cole didn’t stir.
In repose he looked like a lost and troubled youth. His forehead was creased in deep-grooved lines, his mouth tight, his body
tense even in sleep.
Carrying her dish to the sink, Lesley turned, her hands gripping the edge of the counter behind her. As her gaze rested on
Cole, a prayer came to her. Maybe someday he’d feel confident enough to share what was troubling him with her, but for now
she must be content with the progress she had made. The thick wall of anger and bitterness he had erected against her and
the world was gradually being lowered. Tonight was the beginning, just the beginning.
Lesley was running the water into the sink to do the dinner dishes when Cole stirred. He jerked himself upright and looked
around.
Drying her hands on a terry-cloth towel, Lesley walked into the living room. “I must say this is the first time I’ve had that
effect on a man.”
He looked at her blankly, then bounded to his feet and ran his hand along the side of his head. “I should never have come
here.”
“But you did and I’m glad.”
His eyes narrowed menacingly. “Just because I kissed you, it doesn’t give you the right to—”
“I don’t expect a thing,” she assured him softly. “Are you hungry?”
“No.” He sounded disconcerted, angry.
“Cole, what’s wrong?” she probed gently.
“Wrong?” he snapped. “Everything’s wrong. I was a fool to come here.”
“But, Cole—”
“Listen, Miss Do Right,” he said, pointing an accusing finger in her direction, “I knew you were trouble the minute I laid
eyes on you.”
“That’s interesting,” she countered evenly. “I felt the same thing about you.” Not until tonight did she acknowledge that
what they’d experienced was attraction, one so powerful and explosive it could disrupt their entire lives.
“I don’t want you in my life. Can I be more blunt than that?” He stalked to the far side of the room, his back to her.
A lump was growing in her throat, making it difficult to swallow. “No, I don’t think you can.”
“Is it possible for us to live side by side and stay out of each other’s way?” Still he kept his back to her.
“Yes,” she mumbled. “Go on and go. I don’t know why you’re running, and I don’t care. But I’ll be here waiting when you’re
through.”
He turned to her then, his eyes dark and tormented. She yearned to go to him and erase the lines of indecision and anguish,
but she stood still and silent.
His hand gripped the doorknob, and she watched as his knuckles turned white. He didn’t want to leave, but some force stronger
than anything she could inspire in him drove him away and into the silent night.