Chapter Ten
Lawson
Before I open my eyes, I know she is gone.
It is not because her plump ass is not tucked against my lap. Not because her thick hair with its sweet scent isn’t all over me. Or because I am cold in the middle of paradise. Last night, as we came together after our smuttiest lovemaking ever, I saw in her eyes she thought it was the last time.
Reaching across the pillow that still smells of her, I grunt. My fingers hit something hard, and I lift my head. Hell. The book she was reading. About a sailor coming to a small port town and leaving even though he found his person. Their fate was decided by a coin toss—our fate was decided the day I first laid eyes on her.
Sitting up a little, I open the book, shaking it to see if she left a note. Smirking, I flip to the last page. Of course, she put it at the end. Because she truly thought we would end. That is an impossibility, but I will deal with her refusal to accept that in due time. Touching the note written in sloping cursive, I trace the words before I read it. a
Lawson,
I never thought myself a coward. Yet here I am, writing this in the dark with my bags packed as I prepare to run. I am not sure if it is fear or good grasp on reality. This was the best weekend of my life. One of the sweet, short ones as I said before. One with a happy for now, not a happy ever after.
I believe you deserve that. HEAs ought to be simple. Being with me, thinking about starting something with a woman my age, with a woman tied to someone important to you, is too complicated. Besides, I can never give you what you deserve: children, an entire lifetime together.
You have a wandering spirit. There is a lot of wandering left for you to do, I think. I am not sure I have that in me at my age. Sitting on my porch in a rocking chair, reading the smut we both love, as I look back on a full life is what I have to look forward to. And I want that.
I want you more than I ever wanted anything besides my children’s happiness. That does not mean I should have you. It does not mean we would ever want the same things from this. What we had here on Heart Harbor, it was magical, beautiful, the best times of my life. Times I won’t ever forget. Please forgive me for being too ashamed to give a proper goodbye.
This is the end of our story, but it was a beautiful one.
Thank you – Lark
Dropping the book where her note is scrawled, I am shaking. I cannot breathe. My chest aches as I sit up, head in hands, tears stinging my eyes. I palm my eyes, taking deep, shuddering breaths to calm myself. I can’t. It is not possible. I have known loneliness, heartache, and fear. This is a tangled ball of all of it. It takes me a few minutes before I shoot to my feet.
“I write the stories, love,” I say as I toss the book on the bed. “This one is not happy for now. We will get happy ever after, dammit.”
Dressing in a rush, I make a call to request the concierge to get my room packed. With a special note not to forget that book. Bursting from the room, I pause to see housekeeping clearing her room. Feeling a flicker of panic, I jog down the hall to the elevator.
Climbing on barefoot, in jeans and the tuxedo shirt from last night, I look as wild as I am. Downstairs, they confirm she has checked out. After finding out the flight times off the island, I arrange for a car to the airport.
“Leaving in a hurry, bud?” Benji’s unmistakable rasp calls.
Bracing myself, I take a deep breath as I turn to face him. He wears a flowered shirt and swim trunks with flip flops. It is the last thing I expect to find the burly town butcher in. Tipping up his dark sunglasses, he smirks at me before he nods, encouraging me to speak.
“Uh...yeah. Yes. Uh, mate, we must talk...there is a lot to tell you. I doubt you want to know all of it. Or need to, really. But...not now. I... have you spoken to your mother?”
Benji’s eyes narrow as he cocks his head. For a breath of a moment, I fear for my wellbeing. Or keeping my face intact. There is something menacing about a man who can butcher entire animals. Before I can speak again, he smirks and shoves me, my bare feet sliding across the marble.
“Knew it. Brother, I knew it. We saw you sneaking off a few times. Figured you met someone. At rehearsals I noticed she distracted you. My mother blushed each time I said your name this weekend.”
“Yes. It’s Lark. Your mother. We met before we got here, by chance. I had no idea until...well, Benji it was too late the minute I saw her. We talked about it. You know when you know and... you must embrace it.”
Watching me for a moment, he seems to go over the pros and cons of me dating his mother. Obviously, it’s a strange situation. Awkward with lots of implications. I have known him for fifteen years, yet never met her. Never saw a photo. I would not have wasted fifteen without her. His face splits in a grin as he claps me on the back, sending me stumbling.
“I could be that guy who threatens you with death or denounce our friendship. Could lament how strange it is. Not that guy, brother. My mother is one of a kind, a woman who gave her entire life. To anyone who needed it, at the cost of her own happiness. I saw her this weekend. Ma is happier than I’ve ever seen her—and not because I got married either.”
“I could lie to you, say I would take it back if I could, or that I would do it differently had I known she was your mother. I wouldn’t. I saw her and I knew. Or thought I did. Once we talked, laughed together, danced together—oh, we also crashed two weddings together, more about that another time--I was certain. Benji, I love Lark. I think she might love me too. I have to find her so I can convince her we get the story book ending.”
“Oh, definitely she loves you. Ma doesn’t dance, would have never crashed a wedding without you suggesting such shenanigans,” he teases, chuckling at the idea of his English professor mother invading a stranger’s special day. “My mother deserves everything in this world. You do this, you better give her everything. Promise me that. I can’t ask anything else.”
“I swear to you. There is nothing I won’t do if she asks. If she needs it. Even...uh, even giving up the wandering. Not sure I want to wander without her.”
“Well, hell. Ask her, brother, she may want to wander with you.”
On the ride to Harmony Hollow, I recall all we shared from the first moments on the flight to Heart Harbor. I had no clue who she was, but the way I was drawn to Benji is similar to how I was drawn to her. Finding him helped me on the path to finding myself. Finding her is leading me to the path for the rest of my life.
Growing up with parents who never gave a damn about their children made life lonesome. If not for my sister, I might have gone mad or worse. We created stories together. Entire worlds full of our ideas, of our dreams and hopes for ourselves. My sister brought her dreams to life in illustrations while mine came to life in words.
Benji pushed me not to give up, to take a chance on what I loved. If not for him, I might have never had the courage to give publishing a shot. It was because of his faith in me, his support of my first few terrible drafts, that I even finished my first book. It became a success and afforded me the life I live of wandering the world, looking for stories to tell.
My story with Lark just began—this weekend was our first chapter.
Reaching Harmony Hollow as the sun starts to set, I am anxious to get to Lark. A short ride through the small town takes me to her place. It is as I imagined it to be. Set back from the city down a long, winding dirt road framed by lush trees, it is something out of a storybook.
White clapboard with bright red roofs and window frames, the aged farmhouse is charming. With manicured bushes and bright yellow flowers hanging from the wraparound porch, where I would expect to find her. Sitting on the front porch in a swing, she reads a book—the next in the series from the one she left at the hotel—tears slipping down her cheeks.
That book has some touching moments, but I suspect her tears are over me.
“Don’t cry love. Don’t you know we always get happy ever after’s in these books?”
Lark’s head snaps up, all her dark hair that’s piled in a messy bun bouncing with the movement. Smiling at her, I climb the steps, leaning against one of the porch posts to watch her for a moment. I want to remember this moment. It is one I would write in the most romantic ending of a book.
“Lawson! What...I mean how did you...why would you...”
“Didn’t we agree no third act breakup? No making something of nothing? Sneaking out on me without a goodbye is like all the above.”
Setting the book aside, she starts to stand. Then she sits. Covering her mouth with trembling fingers, she shakes her head. Stunned that I am here. That I made the trip here to be with her. No one has loved her the way she deserves to be loved. I hate that as much as I am thankful for it.
Because now I can show her what true love will feel like.
“I couldn’t bring myself to say goodbye to you, Lawson.”
“Good thing, love. There will be no sad goodbyes for us, no third-act drama, no happy for now. I am here for my happy ever after with you. I told you from the moment we met we all want them. I want mine with you.”
Going to her, I kneel and take her hands. I am not here to propose. Not yet at least. I do have a ring chosen. I’ve thought of a hundred ways to make it perfect for her. We will get there someday. Get the huge wedding with all the people we love—or a tiny one with the ones who count the most. Whatever my woman wants, she will have it.
“Lawson, it is all too complicated. We cannot just...”
“Nothing is complicated about what we feel. It is the truest thing I have ever felt. Let them call it complicated. Strange. Wrong. It is none of those things. It is what we all spend so much of our life looking for.”
Lark stares down at me as I press her hands to my chest. Having her touch again makes me feel whole. Even a few hours apart set me off balance. Made me miss her, had me wondering how I ever lived without her. I will not be making the mistake of going without her again.
“What...wh-what do you think it is?” She stumbles over her words as a smile slowly curves her perfect mouth.
“Oh, beautiful...it should be obvious. This is love. I love you, Lark. I fell in love with you before we ever got off the plan to Heart Habor. Never had a chance, did I?”
Eyes lighting up, she sits forward, all but sliding down to my lap. I wrap her up as she crushes her mouth to mine. Lifting her against me, I stand and stride towards her front door. Pulling it open, I hesitate, breaking the kiss.
“Taking you over the threshold, love,” I tease with a kiss at her nose. “Don’t have to skip to the end, we will get to the happy ending when we’re meant to. I love you, Lark.”
“I love you too. I do. Thank you for...for giving me a weekend of magic and showing me, we can get a happy ever after together. I think we can. Know we can. I love you, Lawson.”
Taking her inside, I stride right to her bedroom. Somehow, I know where it will be. Lying her back on the bed, I take my time getting her bare beneath me. Pressing skin to skin, I sink inside of her, locking our fingers over her head as I take her mouth in a slow kiss.
No need to rush--we have a lifetime to get our happy ever after.