Chapter 21 #3
The tables are beautifully decorated with teal satin tablecloths and silver frames with photos of Gia and Mark.
Soft amber uplighting glows from the base of each wall, and fairy lights are strung around the room.
Arrangements similar to Gia’s bouquet, with white and blush-pink roses, peonies, and hydrangeas, spill out of tall glass vases.
The guests are smiling, chatting, and snapping photos while Mark and Gia sit at the head table, looking totally smitten.
They take turns gently stroking each other’s faces, like they’re seeing one another for the first time after months apart.
Everything seems totally on track now. Thank God and Saint Anthony and Saint Joseph and Saint Teresa. My prayers earlier may have worked.
When the wine is served, Gia chugs hers back in one giant gulp. Shit. Maybe I spoke too soon.
“And now please welcome the bride’s sister, Lexi, to the stage,” my cousin Larry, the MC, says in a voice even more monotone than I feared.
Before all the cheating drama started, my parents insisted that since they were footing most of the wedding bill, Gia and Mark had to let Larry be the MC—and Larry’s friend the DJ.
Apparently they’re trying to start a business and need the exposure.
Gia reluctantly agreed, even though she once confided she thinks Larry has the charisma of a doorknob.
I read my maid-of-honor speech, recalling moments from Gia’s and my childhood and how proud I am of her today and the hall erupts in applause.
“Woot!” Gia calls out, grinning ear to ear.
“That speech didn’t embarrass me nearly as much as I thought it would.
” She grabs the train of her dress with both hands, kicks off her heels with a dramatic flick, and practically runs from the head table to the podium.
Then, she lunges at me and wraps me in a tight hug.
“That was beautiful,” she whispers, before letting out a loud hiccup right in my ear. “Okay, time for my speech now.”
Ah, crap. This will be the moment when the shit hits the fan if I don’t act fast. “You could wait until after the main course, I think. That’s when most brides deliver their speeches. Read it while people are relaxed, digesting their food.”
“Read it?” Gia repeats and lets out a single “Ha!” She shakes her head, and some tendrils come loose from her updo. “I haven’t written anything. I’m just going to wing it, and I feel like now’s the perfect time. I have lots to say.”
She breaks free from my hug and snatches the mic, holding it with both hands like she’s bracing for me to try to wrestle it away. For a moment, she’s completely silent, scanning each table of guests one by one, as if daring them to judge her next move.
“I’ve always looked forward to this day,” she begins. “Since I was a little girl, I dreamed about how my wedding would be. Every detail, but especially the dress. I swear the one I picked out when I was ten from Today’s Bride looks exactly like the one I’m wearing today.”
The guests break out in applause and a chorus of awws. So far, not a bad speech. Hopefully she can wrap this up quickly.
“Here we are today, at my wedding, and I’m marrying a man who is better than the man I pictured marrying when I was a kid. He’s more handsome than I could have ever dreamed, he’s kinder than I could have imagined, and I’m proud to say he loves me deeply, just like I love him.”
Applause trickles through the hall once again.
“He’s also really good in the sack. Like . . . pulling my hair . . . choking me just enough . . . flipping me around like a pancake at a breakfast joint. You get it, right, ladies?”
Some guests look a little shocked while others whistle or clap. Hopefully this is the most inappropriate thing she says.
“I always had the best example of a happy marriage. My parents,” Gia says softly, placing a hand over her heart.
I take a sharp breath, a sinking feeling of impending doom settling deep in my stomach.
“Say hello, Rachel and Peter,” Gia says, swinging her hand toward each of them with a dramatic sweep.
My dad waves his hand once, and Mom sinks down in her chair. She knows just as well as I do that the train has derailed and is now barreling full speed straight for a brick wall.
Gia drums her fingers on the podium like she’s about to drop the punchline.
“My mom and dad have been happily married for decades, and what better example for me to follow as I start my own life with Mark?” She pauses, lifts a finger dramatically, and adds, “Well, until they both started fucking other people, that is.”
Stunned silence fills the room. Then there’s a buzz of whispers. I glance at Mark. He looks calm and is even nodding encouragingly. Gia’s got a true cheerleader in that man, that’s for sure. If she decided to rob a bank, he’d probably be her willing getaway driver.
“That was the elephant in the room! Am I right, everyone?” Gia looks from table to table, swinging an arm in front of her nose like an elephant’s trunk, then lets out a trumpeting noise for extra emphasis.
“There was. Admit it. Now it’s time to address it and I want to do that right now.
They decided to wait until a few weeks before my wedding to start fucking around town and now, here we are. ”
“Okay, I think we should have a break from speeches for a little while,” I interrupt, trying to grab the microphone.
Gia pulls back and she must have Drunk Person Strength, because she wrests it back after an embarrassing game of tug-of-war.
I can feel my face turning red but I just stand there, totally unsure what else to do.
“As most of you know, this is Lexi, my sister.” She lowers her voice conspiratorially and cups one side of her mouth toward the guests.
“Here’s something most of you don’t know.
She joined the breakup club by dumping her boyfriend of practically ten years last week.
” She turns to me with a wide smile that clearly says she’s not going to listen to a word I have to say.
“I don’t think it’s time for a break from speeches, Miss Lexi.
Everyone here wants the full scoop. We’re all family, plus some friends, and a few work acquaintances who barely made the invite list. No offense, guys. ”
“Gia, please. Let’s talk privately for a minute,” I whisper.
“No, Lexi, I would not like to talk privately. I would like to ask my mom, Rachel, why she didn’t want to tell me herself that she wanted to dump my dad and start hooking up with Nicholas.
She had to send you to do it. She hasn’t even called me since.
She’s been avoiding me like I have cooties or crabs, and trust me, everyone, I don’t have either.
Right, honey?” Gia swings an arm toward Mark.
“No cooties or crabs, baby,” Mark says, looking way too calm.
“Germ and STD free.” Why is he just letting her keep going like this?
This is definitely going too far. I get being a supportive partner, I really do, but this is starting to feel less like backing her up and more like being an accessory to a wedding speech murder.
Mom slumps in her seat and stares down at the tablecloth.
“Should I step in here?” I hear Nicholas ask her but she just shakes her head miserably.
“Dad’s only seeing that woman because you destroyed his life,” Gia says into the microphone, eyes locked on Mom.
I cringe as I watch our friends and family do the same.
Some of them are sinking into their seats too.
Others have a hand over their eyes, like Gia is in a circus act that they’d prefer not to witness.
Cousin Larry looks around the room nervously, probably wondering if he should try to take the mic away, and wishing he had the courage to do something like that.
From her seat, Maren stands and gestures at Gia, asking if I need help, but I just shake my head sadly.
As amazing as Maren is, I don’t think she can help with this.
At this point, I think we just have to let it play out.
“Isn’t that right, Dad?” Gia asks. “You’re dating this lady here because of what Mom did to you?” Gia points at Claire with a shaky finger.
Claire jumps to her feet, smoothing her long blue gown. “Wait, are you talking about me?” she cries with a horrified look on her face. She points at Dad and grimaces. “I’m not with him.” Well, excuse me. I happen to think my dad is a catch.
“So why are you even here then?” Gia says. “If you’re not his date, why are you his plus one?”
“I’m his daughter!” Claire shouts, eyes filling with tears. The entire crowd gasps, including me. What the actual fuck? “Lexi said she’d been doing some investigating and that she knew what the situation was. I thought that’s why you invited me. I’m your half sister, Gia. I’m Claire.”
Claire’s our sister? I have another sister?