Chapter Six #2
Hormones, I guessed. That new mom mindset that suddenly got brokenhearted at the idea of all the unloved puppies and dogs sitting in shelters waiting for their forever homes.
“You can still adopt. Maybe once the baby is a little older.”
“That’s true. I really do want her to grow up around lots of animals. My cousins have a farm.”
“The ones with the Great Pyrenees?”
“How’d you know?”
“They’re livestock guardian dogs.”
“They are. The other cousin has Anatolian Shepherds for the same reason. I love them all. But I think one gentle like Tuna would be great.”
“His mom was dumped at the side of the road over in puppy mill territory. Guess they thought she was useless to them. But she was pregnant. With seven puppies. Tuna was one of only four that made it, unfortunately.” Willa’s eyes went wet again.
“And the mom!” I rushed to add, hoping that news might make the tears disappear. “I actually took him to meet her once.”
“She got a good home?”
“With four kids and five acres. She’s living her best life.”
“Oh, good.” Her shoulders lowered. “Sorry,” she said, wiping a tear off her cheek. “This happens a lot lately.”
“You don’t need to apologize for being soft in such a hard world. It’s something you should be proud of.”
“I never used to be,” she said, shaking her head at herself. “I blame you for this,” she said, narrowing her eyes at the baby, who just looked up at her with impossibly wide eyes.
“Don’t think she could bring something out that wasn’t there to begin with. Even if you didn’t show that part often.”
“Maybe,” she agreed. “There’s not a lot of room for softness in the corporate world.”
“I can’t imagine. Sounds like it’s still a big boys club.”
“It is. I had to fight for the maternity leave I’m entitled to. And some part of me is still paranoid they are going to try to push me out somehow before it’s done.”
“I think the potential lawsuit would prevent that.”
“That’s what my mom keeps saying. She’s the ‘girl in a boys club’ blueprint.”
That made sense. Willa had that kind of unshakable confidence that had to come from a strong maternal figure.
“Your dad too?”
“Oh, God, no. My dad is a tattoo artist.”
“No shit? Sorry,” I said, wincing at the baby.
“Trust me, she heard worse from me this morning when I was trying to sneak out of the nursery to get some sleep, stubbed my toe, and woke her up with my cry of pain.
“But, yeah, my parents couldn’t be more opposite. She grew up pretty privileged. He grew up with a single mom in a rough area, got caught up in a gang for a long time, then finally got out and became a tattoo artist.”
“How’d they meet?”
“She was actually in his neck of the woods one night. Being chased by some guys. He took her in. And… it just went from there. Complete opposites. But it works really well.”
I was pretty opposite of Willa.
God.
I needed to stop.
“Are you an only child?”
“Nope. I have a brother, Jackson.”
“Is he more like your mom or dad?”
“Honestly, he’s like the perfect amalgamation of the two of them. He’s a crazy talented artist—with paint or with a tattoo machine. He helped paint the nursery with my father. But he does that mostly as a hobby. He’s in business otherwise.”
“He been here to fuss over her a lot?” I asked, nodding toward the baby.
I wasn’t around all the time, of course, but if she had a close family, it felt odd that she was alone so much with a newborn.
“He slept on the couch in the den for the first ten days because my parents were in the guest room. And my aunts and cousins were everywhere else. This place was a zoo—in the best way—for the first several weeks.”
“What happened?”
“I gently pushed them out. Not fully! I mean, everyone is still welcome. And they all do drop in. But I wanted to prove to myself that I could do this. And I have been. Even if I pretty much only manage a shower when one of them stops over now.”
“Why did you need to prove that? Most people have help with new babies.”
Her eyes flashed at that, something raw and pained, reminding me of the missing mug, the whiskey that was gone from the bar cart, the lack of a second toothbrush. The father of the baby who clearly didn’t want to stick around.
“I guess because I knew that eventually, this would all be on me. Everyone would have to go back to their normal lives at some point. And I didn’t want to get so used to all the help that I felt really helpless when it was gone.”
“And I guess it helps that you have people like Gracie to pop in.”
“Exactly. And my handy-dandy new robot vacuum mop. I could kiss you for the suggestion.” I’d allow it. “It’s silly but it’s removed so much background stress.”
“Glad it helps. I know you like to keep the place neat. My sister-in-law got me one not long after I got Tuna with a note that said, ‘Trust me.’ I didn’t understand until the fall when he went through his first shed.
I swear I was finding hair on my floors, furniture, curtains, in my coffee, in my mouth.
It was everywhere. It felt impossible to keep on top of it.
But having that thing running during the day makes a huge difference. ”
“I’m half-tempted to get another one to do the upper floor. And then buy one for everyone in my family for Christmas.”
Expensive Christmas.
But judging by the size of her house, the neighborhood it was in, and how much money she’d put into renovations and repairs, she didn’t have to worry about that kind of thing.
“Think all they’d want for Christmas is time to spend with the baby.”
That got a warm smile out of her.
“Do you have children?”
“I’m not married.”
“I’m… not married, either,” she reminded me, making me immediately kick myself for the comment.
“Of course. Yeah, no. I haven’t had the pleasure of having kids.”
“You want them, though?”
“I do.”
“I think you’d make a great dad. I can see it now. A group of little kids in hard hats with mini hammers trying to help you do home repairs.”
“That’s a good image.”
“Yeah, okay. Well, I don’t want you to have to cut any more into your personal time. Let me know if you need anything.”
With that, she turned and walked out of the bedroom, leaving me alone, sipping her coffee, and thinking that I wouldn’t mind her monopolizing all my personal time.
“Get it together,” I grumbled to myself before turning and heading back to work.